Every week, I think Swingtown can’t get more fun or intriguing. Every week I’m wrong. This week saw Susan & Bruce hanging out with Brad & Sylvia at Tom & Trina’s. Apparently, Brad is taking a bit of a research trip to a place called The Pendulum Club, which is catagorized as an “erotic caberet” or, more plainly, a sex club. Susan wants to go, but Bruce kind of freaks out. He ends up telling Susan that he in fact made out with Melinda at her apartment the night of the blackout in addition to the time we saw at the Puzzlerama party. She takes it well, considering. But it also strengthens her resolve to go to the sex club together, saying she doesn’t want sex controlling their marriage. Conveniently BJ’s staying at Rick’s (hi, Rick!) and Lori is staying at “Stacy’s” which is clearly code for “Doug’s”, so they can party all night.
Trina, clearly feeling her domestic oats now that she and Tom have closed their marriage, has attempted to make muffins to smooth things over with Janet, who Susan thinks felt “more excluded than betrayed” last week. They are hilariously stuck to the tins, which ends up being just the icebreaker my two favorite characters need to start laughing with each other. Janet tells Trina she feels like Roger’s changing (Earlier, he was making a list of possible occupations such as City Planner, Reporter, Fire Fighter, Electrician and Real Estate Agent. He is also applying to DeVry for engineering). Trina reminds her that the Janet who smoked pot and made friends with porn stars was a pretty fun chick.
Conveniently, Roger and Bruce are meeting about Roger perhaps working at the Exchange, which doesn’t really sound like it’s for Rog, so they’re together (and Bruce has piqued Roger’s interest by mentioning the Pendulum Club) just as the ladies converge on Tom & Trina’s. Susan’s there to convince the Deckers to join she and Bruce at the Pendulum Club to serve as “tour guides” even though they will not participate in any of the adventures. Like clockwork, Janet arrives with Trina’s cleaned up muffin tins, some liners and recipes. Her secret? Applesauce makes them “unspeakably moist”. You don’t say, Janet! When Janet notices Susan’s all gussied up, she has to know what’s going on and wants to go to “The Club”, too. Clearly, her plaid ensemble won’t fly, so Trina loans her an insanely hot red dress and some hot rollers, it would seem. Janet’s line as the three stroll arm in arm into the club? “This oughta be one for the scrapbook.”
The club is basically Studio 54 with maybe a little less same sex mating. When a frisky young lady checks out Roger, Tom utters the priceless, “I do believe there’s a unicorn on your tail my friend”. He sounds like a 70s version of Maverick in Top Gun, and he is awesome. Tom & Trina are like the designated drivers, only with sex. They are dying to have a drink, but it’s simply not allowed this night. Lana Parrilla and Grant Show both do a great job of showing the Deckers chomping at the bit, but resisting for the good of their relationship. Here’s one exchange. Tom: “I feel like a kid in a candy store..in handcuffs.” Trina: “And not the fun, fuzzy kind.”
Somehow, Roger & Janet end up in a backroom, the details of which we don’t see. My guess is that not a whole lot happened, but they sure saw some stuff. And it all aroused Susan so much that she and Bruce decided to take Brad & Sylvia back to Casa Thompson for a private swing. As luck would have it, Lori and her statutory rapist (I mean, boyfriend) are watching the Republican Convention and he gets turned on by her knowing the name of the President of France. I know what they’re doing is icky to some, but these people are a match made in nerd heaven. Their make out session is cut short when the frisky foursome stumbles in and starts doing stuff like being all flirty with each other and getting stoned. Lori says she’s “in hell.” As Bruce and Sylvia are about to get it on, and Susan goes in to kiss Brad, he decides to make an omlet. Turns out he’s more of an “emotional voyeur”. Well, sucks to be Susan! And then it sort of sucks to be all of them as Lori and Doug try to escape, only to have a half-dressed Bruce and Sylvia see them scurry past on the floor. Best line of all? Sylvia screaming, “Where is my jumpsuit?” In the end, Lori is essentially blackmailing her parents by default. They can’t air her dirty laundry for fear of their own little secrets getting out. Bruce promises lots of changes for the family. I’m sure that’ll stick!
And what of our other two couples? It would appear that Tom & Trina have the party house, even when they are not partaking. Bummer! Janet & Roger stop by so she can give back the dress, and Roger’s little unicorn is grinding on him almost immediately. He’s sort of into it, but only to the degree one would be at a strip club. Janet’s mortifed and unsure of how she fits in, so she heads to the pool. Tom sees his favorite brownie maker is sad and heads out to comfort her. She voices her insecurity, which seems to be her biggest issue. Tom responds with a big kiss. Janet is shaken and stirred. I’m guessing that after she rescued Roger and they headed home, the Avocado Kitchen of Repression got another workout.
Oh yeah–almost forgot about BJ, Rick & Sam. They played Pong in Rick’s basement and Sam took everyone’s money. Rick was disgusted, as per usual. Then, in a game of Spin the Bottle, Rick had to go in the closet with Sam, where he ripped on BJ for taking on “strays”, then kissed Sam way too aggressively. He got punched for his trouble. BJ ran out after her, and when he kissed her, she didn’t hit him. So, again, is Rick gay or just an asshole? Only time will tell.
Just so you fine readers are aware, I spoke briefly with Swingtown’s executive producer, Alan Poul, via the magic of Facebook earlier this week. He said the show’s future is “undecided” but said that letters to CBS are certainly a good idea to keep this ratings-deficient gem on the air. My suggestion? Good old snail mail, and lots of it. Preferably with a few fake mustaches shoved in the envelope. Save our show!!
