A Beautiful Gory Display: The Doom Patrol
The original Doom Patrol died 40 years ago, in an issue in which the creative team appeared in the book and pleaded with readers to save the book from cancellation. It didn’t work. Years later, Robotman turned out to be alive and well, with Negative Man also returning decades after his death. An 80’s relaunch turned them into a more conventional team of superheroes, until “Beautiful Gory Display” favorite Grant Morrison took over the book and turned it into the weirdest 
thing ever. Negative Man became a “divine hermaphrodite” named Rebis, who in one memorable story arc gave birth to himself. Other characters included Crazy Jane (64 personalities and a different power for each one), Flex Mentallo (the living embodiment of the old Charles Atlas ads), and Danny the Street (a transvestite, sentient street). It was aggressively strange and wonderful, the kind of book where one issue featured a Punisher parody obsessed with hunting beards, and the next introduced Red Jack, who believed himself to be both God and Jack the Ripper. I don’t even have the words to tell you how much I love this incarnation of the series.
thing ever. Negative Man became a “divine hermaphrodite” named Rebis, who in one memorable story arc gave birth to himself. Other characters included Crazy Jane (64 personalities and a different power for each one), Flex Mentallo (the living embodiment of the old Charles Atlas ads), and Danny the Street (a transvestite, sentient street). It was aggressively strange and wonderful, the kind of book where one issue featured a Punisher parody obsessed with hunting beards, and the next introduced Red Jack, who believed himself to be both God and Jack the Ripper. I don’t even have the words to tell you how much I love this incarnation of the series.In 2001, the Doom Patrol returned in a new series once again. This time, Robotman fronted a corporate version of the team. This was another excellent series, this time a satire of celebrity culture. This short-lived series introduced another team of freaks and misfits, including Ted, who could see sixty seconds into the future. That was less useful than you’d think. It also introduced some serious identity issues for Robotman, and actually attempted to pick up the threads left by Morrison’s run. 
The corpse of the previous series hadn’t even cooled when the next Doom Patrol series launched. This time, writer-artist John Byrne eliminated all previous incarnations of the Doom Patrol to bring back the original team, plus several lame characters of his own creation. This version failed hard and fast, largely because the Doom Patrol is such a niche team that eliminating all previous continuity alienated the fan base. I mean, I bought anything and everything with the Patrol in it, but if you’re going to get rid of that and start over, you’d better replace it with something pretty amazing. And this just wasn’t.
That brings us to the present day – through plot complications that it’s better not to explain, The original Doom Patrol has been resurrected, but with the full memories of every previous version of the team, even the ones which contradict one another. So Caulder and Elasti-Woman (changing her name because of The Incredibles, even though she had it first) remember their deaths, and Robotman remembers every single team and all the reboots along the way. It may not make sense, but it lets them keep everything that worked before, which is definitely for the best. And now they have yet another new series – it’s Volume Five for Doom Patrol.
Written by Keith Giffen, who is one of my favorite comic writers of all time (like, in the top three), the new series sets up a whole new status quo for my favorite freaks. They now operate out of Oolong Island, a sovereign nation founded by mad scientists. Niles Caulder sends the team on exploratory missions, investigating misuses of super-science. They’re a little like the team from Fringe, only with a robot. The team’s seen a lot of crazy stuff, and they’re getting a little jaded when it comes to the bizarre and violent. And they’ve all gone a little nuts, what with having died multiple times each (and in Negative Man’s case, that’s just the beginning).
It takes only eight pages for Giffen to wipe out the last of the characters created for Byrne’s version, none of whom will be missed. But the sheer brutality of their final moments has Caulder worried that his team needs help, and the bulk of the issue is made up of their interactions with the priest who Caulder calls in to chat with them. That’s right, a mad scientist asks a priest to help a robot make sense of his feelings. Did I mention this is one of my favorite concepts ever? (Even better, the priest is Rocky Davis, from the old Challengers of the Unknown series. I am not convinced that this would interest people who aren’t me.) And by the way, artist Matthew Clark is does a fantastic job, whether he’s drawing a robot and gorilla fighting monsters or people talking about their feelings. Giffen’s work tends to swing wildly between action and lengthy conversation, and it looks like Clark is one of the rare artists who can keep up with him. Man, it feels good to have the Doom Patrol back in a quality book. Seriously, I love those guys.
Even better, Doom Patrol has a back-up feature in every issue – Metal Men. Another old-time concept from DC’s Silver Age, the Metal Men are robots, each built around a single metallic element. (Classically, Gold, Iron, Lead, Mercury, Tin, and Platinum, though this version includes new member Copper, who none of the others seem to really notice). Their original series was, if anything, even stranger than the Doom Patrol. For a while there, the characters actually would begin stories by answering reader mail. That’s right, they interacted directly with the reader before going off to fight the Missile Men or being melted into candles for a cannibal robot’s birthday cake. In the new incarnation, their creator (Dr. Will Magnus) is worried that his robots are becoming too human, to the extent that he’s got them on medication.
The back-up is written by Giffen and his frequent collaborator J.M. DeMatteis, with art by Kevin Maguire. So this is a reunion of the creative team behind my all-time favorite series that doesn’t have “Batman” in the title, Justice League International. Like JLI, Metal Men is a near-perfect blend of comedy and action, with snappy dialogue and a realization of its own inherent absurdity. The first installment is laugh-out-loud funny, with the team battling a living pagan idol and bickering, while poor Doc Magnus faces off against the Neighborhood Board. I would buy a book I didn’t like just to get the Metal Men back-up, so to have it paired up with Doom Patrol is like an early Christmas Present.
And hey, both the original run of Doom Patrol and Grant Morrison’s run have been reprinted in 
readily available paperbacks, which come with my highest recommendations. Your life is not complete until you meet Mr. Nobody and the Brotherhood of Dada. (Including the Quiz, who has every power you haven’t thought of.) Read and imagine how much more awesome society would be if the Patrol had caught on the way the X-Men did. Hugh Jackman would absolutely rock as Negative Man…
readily available paperbacks, which come with my highest recommendations. Your life is not complete until you meet Mr. Nobody and the Brotherhood of Dada. (Including the Quiz, who has every power you haven’t thought of.) Read and imagine how much more awesome society would be if the Patrol had caught on the way the X-Men did. Hugh Jackman would absolutely rock as Negative Man…