Fun With Pop Culture

Tom Waits Week: Glitter and Doom

  • Tom Waits is always in motion when he performs. His movements are strange and intriguing, and almost entirely lacking in elegance. He moves like a scarecrow, really. His legs jerk around, and he appears to be grabbing at invisible insects of some sort. Sometime he flaps his hand so fast, it’s almost like a hummingbird. He’s also surprisingly small, with virtually nothing going to waste. He’s compact and almost skeletal, and he gives the impression of being made of nothing but kinetic energy.
  • Everybody knows about Tom’s voice, the whiskey-and-gravel-road growl. But what people don’t always realize is that there’s a world of emotion he can express with that voice. From the tender, heartbreaking “There’s Never a Rose” to the manic street-preacher fervor of “Way Down in the Hole”, his voice is a surprisingly delicate instrument. In “Cemetery Polka”, there’s a bit where his tone and pitch changes so dramatically in mid-line, that I always thought it was an effect achieved in post-production. Nope, he does it on his own. It’s kind of amazing.
  • Tom Waits handles ticket sales in an interesting way. When you buy tickets, you don’t actually get a ticket. You have to go to the venue on the night of the show and present your ID. This effectively eliminates scalping, and makes sure the tickets end up in the hands of fans. And there are no casual Tom Waits fans. You either own none of his albums, or you have ten. (Unless you’re one of those posers who only owns Closing Time because it ends up on all those “Greatest Albums of All Time” lists, which is hilarious because Tom’s got multiple albums that are better than that one.) So to be there, you know that you’re surrounded by people who love something that you also love. There’s a sense of community, knowing that everybody there structured their day around getting online at 10 AM so they could buy their tickets in the nine-minute window before they sold out. Late in the show, when Tom encouraged the audience to sing along with the wistful “Innocent When You Dream”, every single person in the theatre knows the song all the way through.
  • In interviews, Waits has said that he’s playing songs on this tour that he’s never performed live. Now, he hasn’t toured vigorously in decades, so I don’t know which songs are in his usual rotation, but the lineup was an impressive assortment. He did songs off of every album since 1983’s Swordfishtrombones, with more than a few that I never expected to hear in concert. “Jesus Gonna Be Here Soon”, “Big in Japan”, “Falling Down” (singlehandedly resurrecting the song after ScarJo’s impressive attempts to destroy it), “Cemetery Polka”, and two tracks off of the often overlooked Black Rider. And he ended the show with “Time”, just like on the Big Time concert album. I like it when life imitates art.
  • Tom performs on a stage that’s rigged with what appears to be a bag of flour, so he can occasionally stomp in one spot and send up a cloud of dust. He also performed two songs (“Big in Japan” and “Chocolate Jesus”) through a riot bullhorn instead of a microphone. You know that that is? That’s a little thing we call showmanship.
  • This was the second time I’ve seen Tom Waits in concert. In 2006, I saw his first Michigan show in almost 30 years. I had honestly never expected to see him in concert, so the first time was like losing my virginity. You just strap yourself in, hope it’s not over right away, and keep reminding yourself “This is a thing that is really happening.” This time, I could sort of focus and enjoy it as the actual experience, and not as an event that had previously been entirely imaginary. That got kind of disturbing there, but you know what I mean.
  • Columbus, by the way, is insane. I’m a naturally fearful individual, and strange cities are very difficult for me. I tend to assume that I will be murdered in an alley. In fact, when I saw Tom Waits in Detroit, I was guided by a “parking attendant” to a “lot”, which was actually an alley behind a strip club. Thankfully, my driving friend figured out that people who lead you into alleys don’t automatically have your best interests at heart. Anyway, being alone, I had sort of planned to be stabbed while looking for a parking spot. Did you know that in Columbus, you can find safe all-night parking for $3? In Grand Rapids, that’s a half-hour, and there’s a fair chance that a hobo will urinate on your car. This has nothing to do with Tom Waits, but it’s pretty interesting.

And yes, the whole experience was amazing. I’m not much of a concertgoer, what with the cost, and the part about leaving the house and being in a crowd. But this was a great time, seeing the man I consider to be one of the most interesting artists in America, enjoying the music that I love, surrounded by people who, even if we have nothing else in common, all agree that “Cold Cold Ground” is an awesome song.

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