Much to my surprise, Hollywood has continued releasing movies that aren’t The Dark Knight. I would have thought they’d take a month or two off, but the entertainment industry rolls on unabated. Truly, they are the Dream Factory of legend.
Two of last week’s new releases had me excited. After all, I am a man of very specific tastes, and those tastes run to movies that bring back TV shows that I liked, as well as to movies where Will Ferrell rubs his testicles on a snare drum. Luckily, X-Files: I Want to Believe and Step Brothers were there for me. That means you get a double-barreled movie review!
Ten years after the first movie, six years after the series ended, and eight years after people had stopped caring, the second X-Files movie is here. And while it’s a kick to see Mulder and Scully again, well, it’s a bit of a mess.
The movie opens with the FBI contacting Dana Scully, now a doctor at a Catholic hospital, to help them track down Fox Mulder for help with a case. Mulder, by the way, now has a full-on beard, which in TV drama is a handy visual indication that a character has gone crazy. (See: Season Two Nathan Petrelli, Season Three Jack Bristow, Season Six Jack Bauer, and Future Jack Shephard.)
See, a female FBI agent has been abducted, and a possibly psychic, definitely pedophiliac priest (Billy Connolly in a nice performance) thinks he may have the answers in the form of mysterious visions. So naturally, they bring in Fox Mulder to determine whether or not he’s legitimate. Rather than, you know, focusing on the actual search. Also, you may remember that the FBI spent nine seasons discrediting Mulder’s work and burying his cases. I also seem to remember that Mulder and Scully, last time we saw them, were concerned with making sure the world didn’t end in 2012.
We end up with three different plots, one involving organ thieves that has no paranormal elements whatsoever, another about the psychic priest, and a third focusing on Mulder and Scully’s relationship. Any one of the three could have made a decent movie (in the case of the organ thieves, not an X-Files movie, but maybe a CSI film), but the disparate elements are handled in a half-assed manner, and none of them are satisfying.
It’s the first time we’ve seen Mulder and Scully in years, only to have them working a case that wouldn’t have been an X-File back in the day. The psychic priest is the only plot element that provides even a tenuous connection to the series. And, in all fairness, that part of the story is actually very good. Sure, having a priest who is a pedophile is a stereotypical and thoroughly boring dramatic convention at this point, but in this case, it provides the character with a layer of tragedy and muddies the waters in terms of his motivations. Besides, Scully gets to invoke her oft-forgotten Catholicism and fight it out with him.
Still, the organ thieves make up the bulk of the storyline, and it never really goes anywhere. For the most part, the whole story is boring. There are some creepy moments, but they feel more like they belong to a generic thriller than to The X-Files. It’s baffling that this is the plot they’d use to bring back the franchise, and I fear it’s also going to end up as the epitaph for Mulder and Scully.
Also baffling is their almost complete refusal to involve any elements from the TV series. I had high hopes early on, when an agent listed all of the psychics Mulder had investigated before (including the much-loved Clyde Bruckman), but that’s as far as it goes. Certain elements of the finale are quickly dismissed in conversation, but you’re not going to see your favorite supporting characters or hear any other references to the series. When Walter Skinner (Mitch Pileggi) shows up near the end, it’s exciting to see somebody that we actually recognize.
Granted, I wasn’t an obsessive X-Files fan or anything. It’s not like I spent hours tracking down the possible meanings of literary references or overthinking the parentage of various characters. I don’t remember every detail of the show, so it’s possible that I missed some particularly arcane references, but I don’t think so. They didn’t give the fans anything, they didn’t come up with anything exciting enough for new viewers, and I do believe we just saw X-Files die with a whimper for the second time.
And then we have Step Brothers, Will Ferrell’s third collaboration with director Adam McKay (Anchorman and Talladega Nights were the first two). Ferrell and John C. Reilly play big dopey man-children who each still live with their single parents. When those parents fall in love and get married, they form an uneasy family.
As I’ve said before on this very site, when you are not entertained by Will Ferrell, your soul is officially dead. But the pre-release buzz on this was really bad. Ferrell didn’t even make the rounds in-character before its release, like he did with Ron Burgundy, Ricky Bobby, and Jackie Moon. I went into this one anticipating heartbreak, quite frankly.
Step Brothers is raunchy, often mean-spirited, frequently stupid, and generally pointless. It’s also funny as hell.
Ferrell and Reilly are a funny team, with their blank expressions, lumpy bodies, and hilarious hair. They play off each other well, and they’re both willing to go the extra mile for a joke. And when that joke involves two grown men physically fighting because one rubbed his genitals on the others’ drum set, well, that kind of commitment is very important.
Like Will Ferrell’s best comedies, the plot isn’t important. It’s really just there to provide a frame on which to hang jokes. First, Ferrell’s Brennan and Reilly’s Dale hate each other. Then, when they’re running out of fight scenes, they become best friends, and it’s just as funny. And when dopiness runs its course, they start acting like adults, which opens up new vistas of jokes.
The cast also includes Richard Jenkins and Mary Steenburgen as their parents, Adam Scott (from HBO’s Tell Me You Love Me) as Derek’s successful younger brother, and Rob Riggle (The Daily Show) stealing every scene he gets his hands on. Seth Rogen even has a surprise cameo, except that now I’ve spoiled the surprise. Whoops. As usual, Ferrell and McKay pack their movie full of funny people to ensure maximum entertainment value.
Step Brothers doesn’t give you anything to think about, but it gives you an a cappella rendition of “Sweet Child of Mine”, the funniest investor pitch since Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, Will Ferrell using ninja techniques to slow down his heart, and a scene in which John C. Reilly is a centaur. What’s even more amazing about that last one is that it’s actually in a real movie and not lost in some folder labeled Awesome Ideas that Nobody Will Ever Put into a Movie.
It’s the kind of movie that asks you to laugh about a woman standing to use a urinal, but it’s also the kind of movie that pulls it off so well that you have to laugh. Add in the greatest scene ever of two middle-aged men defeating an entire elementary school with karate, and you’ve got a solid evening of entertainment, and a worthy entry in your semi-annual Will Ferrell Film Festival. (Yeah, like I’m the only one…)
X-Files: I Want to Believe
Step Brothers
