Over in Piers’ War Room, he tells Stephen that he’s “got about as much fund-raising ability as an armadillo”, and instead asks him to drum up some celebrities. There’s a shot of Stephen on the phone saying “You tell Gandolfini that it’s me, too.” You guys, that phone’s not even turned on. James Gandolfini is not taking that call. James Gandolfini’s personal assistant has a personal assistant who weeds out calls like that. And the great thing is that the connection there is that Daniel Baldwin played himself on a couple of Season Six episodes of The Sopranos. He’s not even using his own contacts – he’s exploiting his crackhead brother’s contacts! Somebody named “Lindsay” and Ben Stiller are also not available.
Piers is horrified that Stephen can’t get any celebrities. Stephen essentially tells him that he didn’t have any luck. Now, Don was horrified that he didn’t call Alec, since he’s in town and he’s got the whole 30 Rock crew, and all sorts of other contacts. It could be that Stephen didn’t care to make the effort, and it could be that Alec had schedule conflicts, or he might not have cared to hassle his famous friends to come down for an event that his dopey brother was part of, although not directly affected by the outcome. Whatever the case, it’s a shame. Who didn’t want to see Tracy Morgan bidding on tea with Fergie?
Stephen walks out, and tells us in an interview that he didn’t have luck. Also, he doesn’t care. I think we can agree, that’s what Jesus would do, right guys? I cut Baldwin a lot of slack, but he’s really being a prick here.
I’m not sure who’s going to win this. They’re both sort of suffering here, and given that it’s all subject to the whims of Trump, it’s not like it matters who actually does better. I like them both, though. They’ve both been entertaining to watch, and considering some of the actively hateful people who passed through this season, we could do a lot worse for the finale.
Next week, it’s the finale! Trace takes a panicked call from a Backstreet Boy who lost his black nail polish. Piers explains the importance of getting celebrities drunk. Trace gets a visit from his daughters, who are freaking adorable. And Piers gets a surprising phone call. Sharon Osbourne, Andrew Lloyd Webber, and Simon Cowell show up. (You just know Piers and Simon are tight.) All of the firees return to vent and backtrack! Who will be the Celebrity Apprentice? And God help me, I actually care! (Don’t look at me! I’m hideous!)
