Celebrity Apprentice Season 3, “Snapple-osophy”

Joan thinks Sharon wants it the most, Bill thinks she’s out of gas. Thanks for your contradictory input! Sharon talks to Bill about being sick, and he seriously seems to think that she could die at any moment. Which would be funnier if ol’ Bret hadn’t been hit with every medical complication imaginable since this was recorded. He also hammers her for not raising more money, and people keep forgetting that she raised more than a hundred grand on the workout task. And actually, fundraising hasn’t been a huge part of this season – there have been many more creative tasks than in past seasons. Joan asks her if she really wants to beat Holly, and Sharon gets really emotional. Soon, the both of them are crying. It sounds like she’s had some trouble with her colon cancer foundation, and I want to quote her because she says something that’s both incredibly hilarious and sad, and I’m also going to swear because it’s getting near the end of the season. What are they going to do, fire me? (Wait, three of the shows I recap are ending this season? Actually, they really might fire me.) “Nobody gives a shit about anybody’s colon cancer, because it’s up your ass and nobody cares”. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about that line. I kind of love Sharon, though.