Tom asks Len about the possibility of Cristian going. Len feels it would be a tragedy. Yes, this is like Chernobyl to Len. He asks Carrie Anne about losing Penn, and she praises the entertainment value he brings to the proceedings, and says he is the “largest presence” on the dance floor. Bruno says that although he likes Penn, no amount of magic is going to make him a dancer. As for Cristian, he feels they’ve just “scratched the surface”, so again, global disaster if he leaves. They actually seem afraid. Of course, Cheryl’s fans alone could save them at this point, and they do. Penn and Kym are first out.
When Tom asks Penn for his thoughts he says they’re not giving up and they’ll be rehearsing all week and performing in the parking lot next Monday. You know, even though he’s a little annoying, I do find Penn Jillette funny. I can only hope his daughter, little Moxie Crimefighter, feels the same.
Now, we turn our attention to the six female celebrities. Shannon and Derek are the first ones to be named safe and she is greatly relieved. How can a woman who pranced around buck naked in a teen comedy be this insecure? Wait–I might have just answered my own question.
And now we have Cameron Matheson, whom Tom insists on calling “Dance Machine”, receive a Mission Impossible-style assignment from Tom through a TV while he sits in a makeup chair at All My Children, or possibly at home. He whips off his shirt to reveal the costume he wore last year to dance to the Superman Theme, complete with cape. Then he’s off to a rainy Times Square to interview some tourists. Some guy says he really likes “Monica Gucci”. Oh, so close. A woman dances, and it’s only slightly embarrassing. Another lady cannot say “de la Fuente” to save her life, unless it’s just Cameron standing so close that’s making her nervous. He also reveals that he and Adam Carolla have a unibrow in common. Don’t forget Tony! His forehead slopes and everything!
Next we have a dance number by some renowned choreographer whose first name is Jacques. Last name Kime? Hime? I don’t know. Would it have killed them to flash a name on the screen? Anyway, it’s sort of Cirque De Soleil meets Peter Pan meets Cooper Nielsen’s ballet in Center Stage(someone has to get that reference!) There are ribbons and ropes and pulleys and giant metal cages. Basically, it could go in any number of directions. But, this is a family show. Overall, pretty cool stuff.
The Jonas Brothers are back with their skinny ties, vests and ascots to perform “When You Look Me in the Eyes”, a song that is heavy rotation on The Disney Channel. I am often subjected to it between Hannah Montana and The Suite Life of Zach and Cody, so I know the words. It’s an overwrought ballad that countless fourteen year old girls will forever equate with their first love. Eh, Debbie Gibson was better. Louis and Cheryl dance for about half of the song. Nick, the one who reportedly dated Miley Cyrus, plays the piano.
Backstage, Samantha interviews Shannon and Derek. He jokes about her self-esteem. Come on Shannon, look at yourself! Adam and Julianne are on the other side of Sam, and he calls the Houghs “stepford siblings”, which is hard to quibble with. They have always kind of reminded me those dolls, The Heart Family, that came out when I was little. But they seem very sweet and they’re insanely talented, so whatever. Adam also says he was a rock and Julianne was nervous. He says he and Julianne were paired by God and looks up to the heavens. Again, less is more, Adam, but he’s funny to me as well. I think he should join Kenny Mayne on Dance Center at some point.
Marlee & Fabian and Kristi & Mark are deemed safe, which, duh! Priscilla is the last of the women to be named safe and she attempts to convey her relief, but is unsuccessful. She practically has to flail her arms to indicate her joy, because her face is useless. Marissa looks like she ate a bug.
Carrie Anne praises Monica’s attitude, while Len lauds Marissa’s enthusiasm and Tony’s teaching ability. Bruno calls Monica a legend and says how honored they are to have her on the show. Tom has to cut him off as he goes to talk about Marissa because its about 9:59.
Monica & Jonathan are out, and so much for any shocking eliminations. She thanks Jonathan for all he taught her, and Tom tells her she’s beautiful. There is a joint “last dance” for the eliminated couples to “The First Cut is the Deepest”. Next week, it’s going to be either the tango or the jive, two of my favorites. See you then!
