Dancing with the Stars: Results, Week 3 (Mar 25)
They’re doing a new thing where they’re using new footage of the judges announcing their scores.Rather than using the existing shot where they go one at a time, they have new shots of all three holding up their paddles and announcing their score simultaneously.I wonder if they’re doing that to save time.It’s throwing me off, though.And man, Samantha’s earrings are like dreamcatchers (I like ’em!–Myndi).
Tom announces that next week will be a double elimination.They are going to do whatever it takes to get rid of Wozniak, I’m thinking.
And now, getting right to things, it’s time to reveal the first four couples who are definitely safe.First up are Melissa Rycroft and Tony, to nobody’s surprise.Next, Gilles and Cheryl are saved, surprising only Cheryl.Also, Shawn Johnson and Mark are safe.So, it turns out that scoring a 27 means you don’t have to worry about going home on Week Three.Good to know.And then, it goes crazy when Steve and Karina are safe!How is that even possible?Seriously, how the heck do you overcome a 10?Wait, are the votes being tabulated on Macs?I’m just saying…Anyway, Karina totally freaks out.Len whispers something to Carrie Ann, and he looks really irritated.
Samantha chats with the safe stars, focusing most of her attention on Gilles.She’s always eye-humping him.Steve says he’s the most shocked he’s been “since he got divorce papers”.Hee.And then we’re back to Tom to save another four couples.They really want to get these results out of the way so they can clear off some time for Hall & Oates.Lawrence Taylor and Edyta are safe, which takes a load off of Edyta’s mind.David Alan Grier and Kym are next.OK, so far so good.America’s Sweethearts, Chuck and Julianne are safe.Finally, Derek and Li’l Kim are safe.That leaves us with Ty Murray, Denise Richards, Holly Madison, and Steve-O.I won’t shed tears for three of them, that’s for sure.
Next week, they’re bringing the Lindy Hop and the Argentine Tango to the show for the first time.I think the Lindy Hop is one of those dances Grandpa Simpson likes to reference, but that’s all I know.Luckily, Cloris Leachman and Corky Ballas are back to educate us.The video segment is kind of overdone and muggy, but fairly funny.Turns out, the Argentine Tango was invented by prostitutes to seduce gauchos.Prostitutes don’t put that kind of effort into their work these days.
Did you know Hall & Oates are the biggest-selling duo in music history?I will guarantee that Myndi knew that (Yes I did.–Myndi).If you listen closely right now, you can hear her squealing girlishly (squee! I got the H2O album when I was 10. I loves me some Hall & Oates–Myndi).They’re performing “Man Eater”, and it doesn’t matter how alterna-emo your musical tastes run, there is never a time when that’s not awesome.There’s a fun dance with Tony, Maks, and Dimitry tossing Karina around.I’m struck by how much John Oates looks like Fred Armisen playing John Oates.I wish they’d gone on longer, because they’re clearly having a blast and the dance had some nice choreography.Woo!
Tom tells us Adele will be performing later in the show, and they cut to her backstage looking positively somber.I’m a little worried about her.Nobody should look that sad on Dancing with the Stars, unless they somehow end up partnered with Penn Jillette.
After the break, it’s time for Adele to perform, and she’s not any happier.Her number is accompanied by Edyta and real-life husband Alec Mazo.They’re always good together, and it looks awesome.Now, I’m not familiar with Adele – I only know here as the musical guest on Saturday Night Live, and I tend to skip through those unless somebody has a meltdown.I’ve never heard her sing before, but damn, girl’s got some pipes.She sounds pretty terrific, even if her stage presence is nonexistent.Wow, did I just enjoy back-to-back musical numbers on a results show?Truly, this is the age of miracle.
Next comes a filler segment explaining the Dance-Off.Even if it were that perplexing of a concept, I actually saw the Dance-Off last week.I don’t really need Steve-O to explain it to me again (I think you could make a blanket statement to that effect. There’s nothing I ever need Steve-O to explain to me–Myndi).
And now it’s time to find out who’s in the Bottom Two.Steve-O and Lacey are safe.Man, the judges can’t catch a break this week.Holly and Dimitry are in the bottom two.Ty and Chelsea are safe, so that means Denise and Maks are also in the bottom two.Whoever loses, we win!
Holly and Dimitry are up first.I’m pretty sure there’s a lift in the first few seconds, so you know they’ve lost Carrie Ann.All in all, I thought it was better than last night’s dance, but it still didn’t blow me away.Confusingly, Len say she had a second chance to make a first impression but this is like the fourth time she’s danced on the show, so I don’t know what he means.Bruno liked it and actually gives her constructive criticism.Carrie Ann says she did a better job of keeping her foot on the floor, so maybe that wasn’t a lift.Either way, lifts are now the only thing which Carrie Ann will ever mention in her critique.She gets three 6’s, the Score of the Beast, which is one point better than last night.
Next up, it’s Denise and Maks.In all the backstage footage, she looks like she’s one minute away from an epic, hair-chewing meltdown.I notice Maks avoids eye contact with her.He wants out of this season.She seems to miss a lot of steps in the opening run, and her lines are a mess.Her arms in particular just aren’t going anywhere good.By the end, she’s just walking around.Not good.Bruno, however, thinks she’s improved greatly.He also gives her advice about using her acting to find the character of the dance.Considering she can’t find the character in her characters, that’s going to be a stretch.Carrie Ann also liked it, because she smiled.Len also thinks she proved that she deserves to stay.What’s going on here?I mean, they definitely know more than I do, but I’m just perplexed (I was, too. In the words of the great Liz Lemon, “what the what”?–Myndi)
She gets 7’s from the boys and a 6 from Carrie Ann.Samantha says that Carrie Ann held up the wrong paddle, even though she said “6” out loud.Also, the screen display reverses Carrie Ann and Bruno.Somebody’s asleep at the wheel!Not Tom, because he points out that the total works out and that Carrie Ann held up the number that she said.There’s a little argument with Carrie Ann and somebody offstage, and I don’t know what’s going on anymore.Heading into commercial, Maks just takes off his shirt without prompting.Hee.
Commercials.Was anybody crying out for a reboot of Cupid?I’m not sure resurrecting shows that were cancelled halfway through their first season a decade ago is the smartest of business moves.
OK, it’s 9:50, so there’s no more farting around.They cut their dramatic lead-in short and eliminate Denise Richards.Maks looks almost as relieved as I feel.
Next week, seriously, we have a Lindy Hop and a double elimination.This is going to be a weird one.
