Backstage, Jeffery says he had to dance with the injured eye, as he was born to do it, but he’s bummed because he can only see half of Kim Kardashian’s booty. They get 3 4’s, after each of which Jeff yells, “Yeah!” God, even Kelly Monaco got a 13 her first week.
We’re in the home stretch. Tom tells us that Kim Kardashian, Susan Lucci and Misty May Treanor will “take on each other”, a phrase which should never be used when one of the people has been in a sex tape.
The time has come for me to recap Kim Kardashian. I must point out that I do so under duress. She is vapid and annoying and says nothing of use about how fun this going to be and how hard she’s going to try. It’s very Paris Hilton-ish. She also tells us she has terrible balance. Mark is usual chipper self. They start to dance and Kim is brandishing a fan. Their music is “The Pink Panther”. It’s not a mess, but it’s unremarkable, the whole thing. Len says it was clean and had nice musicality, but was a bit cold. Kim and Mark have no chemistry. Bruno then does my job better than I ever could. He calls her Princess Jasmine (from Aladdin) and says she has a “dusky beauty”, followed by this: “You’re like a treasure trove that everybody would want to explore, but you need to make it more available.” Tom goes over to Bruno and says, “Her mother’s right over there!” Oh please, Kris Jenner loves it. Carrie Ann says she moved well, but she’s not used to moving her head, apparently. I’m sure I could make that into a sex joke, but it’s late. They get 6’s from Carrie Ann and Bruno, plus a 7 from Len, for a total of 19.
