Dancing with the Stars: Season Nine, Week One – The Men

Tom DeLay and Cheryl Burke – Yes, this is really a thing that is happening. By the way, Tom says Tom is their first contestant to be known as “The Hammer”, and clearly he’s forgotten which movie Adam Carolla wouldn’t stop plugging during his brief stint on the show. There is a hilarious photograph in the montage where Former President Bush appears to be passing a baby to DeLay in front of a crowd. I can’t even imagine the context for that. He manages to not mention his violations of campaign finance law. Cheryl is a good sport, but you can tell she’s not thrilled that she has no chance to win this year. Tom says he needs to get in touch with his feminine side, and there is a shot of him either trying to do jazz hands or doing a mock limp-wristed bit. It’s early in the season, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and say it’s jazz hands.