Kristi and Mark get the encore, to the shock of no one. Ah, now I see the lilac shoes he’s wearing. Yikes. I’d venture to say this is actually better than last night, with the pressure off. Funny observation: Kristi takes her bows like she’s still on skates. I guess old habits die hard.
Backstage, Samantha interviews Shannon and Marlee about last night’s trials and tribulations. Shannon feels she did her best and is still learning. Samantha asks Marlee if she’ll be frustrated if she leaves this week. She says she’ll strangle Samantha and then amends that to Tom. The audience laughs. She says she’ll leave with no regrets and feels the judges were fair to her. Back out front, Tom says, “Marlee Matlin, she threatens murder and you applaud her.” And he’s just getting warmed up, kids!
Next we have Ozomatli, a group whose name I had to google to insure I spelled it correctly. Apparently, AT&T U-Verse can’t be bothered to update the featured performers on the show in their listings. Case in point: Floyd Mayweather’s name is on there for some reason. They are a huge band with all kinds of drums, horns and guitars, and they hit the ballroom floor by strutting up the aisles while playing said instruments. It’s kind of like a Latin version of Chicago or something. They proceed to rock out with a song that truly does combine salsa and hip hop, as their website promises. They are joined on the floor by the pairs of Fabian and Kym, Derek and Edyta, Jonathan and Anna and Louis and Karina. They are all awesome, and I have a even more respect for these pros after we were told just how little time they have to prepare these numbers each week.
We have a quick recap of the rankings, and it would seem that even Tom is getting sick of Kristi being number one week after week, if his voiceover is any indication. Back live, she and Mark are announced to be the first safe couple. Also, Cristian and Cheryl are told they are in the bottom two.
And now, the Junior dancers (these kids are from last week). Oh, boy. As a mother, these kids amuse and frighten me a little. First we have Dmitriy and Michelle, who are both 10 years old and have been partners for three years. They have on these little yellow and black costumes that kill me. In their interview segment, Michelle explains that when you dance, it shows elegance. Then, the two of them are seen swinging (on a swing set, that is) and hula-hooping. Dmitriy says they never blame each other for mistakes and that Dancing could be nerve racking because they might fall. They do the jive to “You Can’t Stop the Beat” from Hairspray, in a blatant attempt to impress Marissa, apparently. He leapfrogs her, they do a lot of intricate moves going through each other’s legs and they’re pretty good. It’s nice because they’re not as miniature as last week’s contestants. Michelle actually looks like a bit like a brunette version of Mayim Bialick in Beaches. The judges all have nice things to say, of course, referring to them as precise, sassy, exciting and energetic. Bruno says Dmitriy has star quality.
Next we have Jaryd and Cara (what is the deal with these boys and the spellings? Like I can talk!) Jaryd is 10 and Cara is 8 and they have been dancing together for one year. They are interviewed while strategically placed in front of all their trophies and ribbons. Jaryd says it’s fun to win and he also likes to dance hip hop because it looks cool. Cara says he’s funny and silly. She’s 8, but she looks about 6. So tiny! They’re both very into facial expressions, which they practice in the mirror. You guys, I’m a little scared of them, but charmed at the same time. They dance the cha cha cha and they are incredible. She shakes it like there’s no tomorrow and I really don’t feel like I’m watching children. I think Cara just winked at me! Bruno calls them “the cutest little gremlins” and Len says they were sharp and crisp. It’s fairly obvious at this point who was better.
Backstage, Samantha asks the kids who decides what they wear and the kids give completely unironic and truthful answers. Their parents. God bless ’em. After some more pointless banter, It’s revealed that Jaryd and Cara won this round, with Carrie Anne throwing a pity vote to Dmitriy and Michelle.
Now this is awesome. Tom goes through a whole spiel about announcing the next safe couple and suddenly realizes he’s jumped ahead in the show, probably because the couples aren’t out there with him! He stalks the camera and chastises the prompter operator, who likely just wet himself. But, really, Tom’s just going with the flow. He’s a very good sport. Unlike the a-hole weekend morning news anchor in Cleveland years ago who thought it made him a big man to yell at the 21-year-old intern during commercial because she got just a couple lines ahead on the prompter. God!
I know, let’s run another filler package so when we finally announce who’s leaving, Tom and Samantha will have to cut them off! And this is one we’ve seen before, like, every season…what everyone does on the day of the show. Jason and Cristian throw a football around, Tony bangs on Marissa’s trailer (not a euphemism), Priscilla does yoga and lights candles (of course), Mario works out in tight pants and no shirt, Derek plays guitar for Shannon (aw!), Marlee plays with her kids and Kristi gears up like she’s about to skate. It’s all quite riveting. This all leads up to where Tom was going before, and Jason and Edyta are told they are safe.
Commercials. Wow, you know, I had almost forgotten all about Grey’s Anatomy. But now, I’m reminded of the seething hate I have for Izzie all over again.
Next up is James Blunt, he of the high-pitched girly voice and stalkery songs. He sings his new single, “Carry You Home” while a pair of world champions, Eric and Georgia, dance. She is barefoot and dressed like the tooth fairy. Their routine consists of a huge amount of her being thrown around by him. It’s all very acrobatic. At one point, he lifts her skyward while he’s laying on the floor. Crazy.
Backstage, Samantha is serious as a heart attack, claiming there is “utter disbelief” that Cristian and Cheryl are in the bottom two. Cristian goes on at length about challenges and so forth and I really would like to get on with this already! Back out front, Mario and Karina and Marissa and Tony are told they are safe.
When we return, we’re down to Shannon, Marlee and Priscilla being saved. Shannon looks like she’s ready for bad news, but she’s safe. Marlee is safe, which, come on, of course she is! That leaves us with ‘Cilla and Louis in the bottom two. Len says that one bad performance can leave you “in jeopardy”. Or, in my opinion, the fact that you were never very exciting or interesting to begin with might do the same. And so, Priscilla is out. As has become the norm this season, there is no real time for her to say much of anything, other than the experience has been life-changing. In a moment the concerns me greatly, Tom has to advise the American viewing public that Priscilla does not actually have a psychic hot line and to stop calling her management. Man, people are dumb!
EJ’s going on vacation next week, so we have Don, our resident Idol expert and Dancing With Stars virgin, filling in on the performances while I take the results once again. See you then!
