In the bumper to commercial, Marissa is already begging for votes and Julianne flicks Adam in the head, which, I’m guessing many people would like to do on a regular basis.
Tom introduces Adam “Zorolla”, whom he says managed to insult his partner, the wardrobe department and people of two different faiths last week. As a member of one of the faiths, I have to say, I was perfectly fine with him, if you take away the dancing part. In the rehearsal package, Adam says he took to heart Carrie Anne’s comment that he was sexy and is moving to Europe to model. He’s also now “in it…not to lose it” since he says Julianne has decided he’s a dancer. I think it’s that she’s just so adorable that he wants to keep up with the socially acceptable excuse to touch her for several hours a day.
Man oh man, are they going for broke trying to camouflage his lack of dancing ability on this one! There are flames surrounding the ballroom floor and Julianne’s skirt is extremely loud and distracting as she flips it hither and yon. And here’s something I never thought I’d type: Adam Carolla comes out riding a unicycle, dressed as Zorro, complete with a fake mustache, mask and cape. Kudos to him for riding the damn thing at all. Sadly, it’s the best part of his performance. She’s working her tush off to make his dancing look something other than stiff. He’s still pretty terrible.
Len calls him a lovable character. Adam refers to himself as a silent porn star, which, you wish, Adam. Bruno says this performance proves that genius and insanity go together. Backstage, Adam says their initial plan was to have Julianne dance while he rode around on a Rascal. You know, the carts for elderly people that they advertise on GSN all the time. He then goes on about Spaniards crossing the Caspian Sea on unicycles and it dies a slow death. And then, he plugs his movie again, some more.
Scores: Carrie-Ann—6 Len—7 Bruno—6 Total: 19
