Marlee and Fabian, who I’m really enjoying from a personality standpoint, rehearse the waltz and he tells her that the challenge this week is that they must pretend to be in love with each other. I have a hunch the Oscar-winning actress might be able to do that, sweetie. She is more worried about the fact that all the turns are making her dizzy as her deafness has an effect on her balance. She says “I suck!” and, Marlee, I wish I could suck at dancing like you do! They come out to dance to “Always a Woman” by Billy Joel, which immediately sets a mood. She’s in a flowing peach gown and he’s a white suit and they look very “Fred and Ginger” to me. I actually watched this twice. It was extremely well-performed in every sense of the word. She continues to impress me with her dancing, but the way she stays in character and tells a story is what makes it work. There is a great part near the top where he holds her head in his hands and it’s quite romantic. I can’t snark on this!
Len calls it poignant and points out the Fleckerels (which google tells me are fast turning figures danced on the spot). He and Bruno both pick on her posture a bit. Carrie Anne concurs, but she’s too busy doing her Paula Abdul impression to criticize. She’s all choked up. Backstage, Fabian pretends to use Marlee’s sleeves to wipe his fake tears. Marlee says it will take an asteroid hitting for anyone to beat Kristi and the scores are in!
Scores: Carrie-Ann—8 Len—8 Bruno—8 Total: 24
Mario is very dramatic in his rehearsal package, saying that last week was a “wakeup call” and that he’s “fighting to stay alive” Easy there, Rocky. Karina and her bony cleavage tell us Mario must work harder this week. Karina morphs into Jillian from The Biggest Loser and oversees Mario doing push-ups, then allows him to bench press her. They are dancing to Stevie Wonder’s “Higher Ground” which screams Paso Doble, doesn’t it? Again, the most impressive part of the dance is at the end, when he slides across the floor and then flips her to sit in front of him at the finish. He’s trying really hard, and he can certainly dance, but he needs some nuance. He is dressed in a Seinfeldian puffy shirt while she is wearing a dress with a very wide keyhole neckline and cleavage that appears to be enhanced, to say the least. It’s totally painted on there.
Bruno says they took a very modern song (if you call the ’70s modern, sure) and gave it a Spanish flavor. Carrie Anne says Mario attacked the dance but he has to work at not coming on so strong one minute that he looks positively small the next. Len says he has only one style of dance and Bruno butts in to disagree. Len crosses a line by sharing that he has underpants older than 21-year-old Mario and…my notes just end there. I think I may have drifted into a bad place. Backstage, Mario effusively thanks Len for motivating him to do better. Samantha incorrectly labels those as “fighting words”. Incidentally, she’s officially got her figure back, as she’s wearing a column dress that only really fit ladies can truly pull off. It doesn’t change the fact that the silverly blue color make her resemble my remote control.
Scores: Carrie-Ann—8 Len—7 Bruno—9 Total: 24
When we come back from commercials, I think I see one of the former Bachelors (Andy, maybe?) in the audience, in his dress uniform. So pretty.
Jason’s package consists of him picking his nose, smelling his arm pits and wiping his sweaty brow on poor Edyta while she complains that he treats her like one of the guys. She takes him the most logical place to refine one’s manners, Medieval Times! Silliness ensues, capped by Jason being dubbed “Sir Dancealot” It’s not really that funny, in part because of the fact that Jason is apparently unable to spontaneously talk about anything he does for the show and so we are subjected to more excruciating line readings.
