Archer – There’s so much we could say about this show every week. It’s so fast and funny, and each episode brings us so many great lines that we spend the next several days dropping into conversation whenever we can. This week, Archer’s favorite call girl showed up with a baby who just might be his. (Don’t pretend that a candy bar wrapper is a condom wrapper. The More You Know…) In a typically insane plot, a completely different intelligence agency proctored a blood test to determine the baby’s parentage. And naturally, this meant Archer had to break in to ODIN headquarters to swap out his blood sample. Along the way we saw more of Cyrill’s sex addiction in action (“That’s not a real thing!”), secretary Carol getting even weirder (“I’ve thought about adopting a baby so I could abandon it at the mall”), and more black turtlenecks than any show on TV. Oh – it turns out that Archer’s butler, Woodhouse, is actually the one who shot William Burroughs’ wife. It’s wrong on so many levels, but we love it so. Modern Family–The episode was entitled “Bixby’s Back”, and it was indeed the return of Phil and Claire’s alter egos, Clive and Julianna, from last Valentine’s Day. Of course, things went awry at the hotel once again when Phil grabbed the wrong room key and spread himself out naked on someone else’s bed, nearly giving the poor woman the heart attack. Plus, we were treated to the return of Dylan, who inappropriately serenaded Haley, and Gloria “winning” Valentine’s Day over Jay.
