Celebrity Apprentice

Celebrity Apprentice Smackdown: Week 11 (Mar 17)

Previously, on Celebrity Apprentice: We saw the inside of the Trumpartment and all who gazed upon it were driven mad. Baby Barron appears to be some crazy Boys from Brazil experiment to clone Trump. Omarosa volunteered as Project Manager and managed to introduce a record-breaking amount of suck to the proceedings. Stephen Baldwin recommended fine restaurants but sold no art at all. Omarosa only sold one art, and didn’t help anybody with their dining needs, so who’s the real hero? Everybody got weird about homosexuality, so Piers Morgan kissed Trace Adkins, to the delight of most. Omarosa was fired and disappeared from pop culture forever.

We pick up right where we left off, with Team Hydra watching the firing. Piers lets loose with the sort of triumphant yell that helped me understand how all those soccer riots get started. He compares his rivalry with Omarosa to “a little rat against a large dragon”.

You can always count on Piers for some odd similes. He’s like an accordion-playing armadillo with a gift for hyperbole. He runs down the great moments of his life, including meeting Nelson Mandela (or was that Marilu Henner?), meeting the Queen, the births of his children, but chief among them was destroying Omarosa. And in a shot that I am not making up, we see him looking so satisfied that he can almost hardly eat his pineapple. I think the Pineapple Council got to him.

Lennox Lewis, who is really giggly right now, tells Piers he should apologize to Trace, quickly. Trace actually took it in better humor than his immediate reaction suggested, and Lennox calls it “Brokeback Boardroom”. Hee. Well played, Lennox. They toast Omarosa, and Carol Alt calls her “very bright”. Piers responds that she’s so bright that she lost three times as Project Manager, one of which was the worst beating in show history. “I’d hate to meet somebody who’s thick in America,” says Piers as the camera cuts to Stephen. How the editors avoided putting a musical sting on that shot, I’ll never know.

Trace, in an interview, expresses irritation with Piers’ gloating. Piers starts trying to psych Trace out about the next task. Stephen suggests that the next task might be to write a country song. Yes. That sounds likely. Ooh! Maybe the next task will be to bring up Jesus a lot! Piers says he thinks he could even win that task, and then he busts out his version of a southern accent and sings “Have you ever loved me / Like you once did?” Hee. That makes absolutely no sense, and I sort of want him to release an album now.

Stephen calls Piers a “lost, arrogant individual”, and says that he prays for him every day. You know, I’ve got no problem with the praying for him. That’s kind of what you’re supposed to do. It’s the superior attitude that bugs me. It’s not like Piers ate a live baby or anything. The guy’s just a windbag. If that’s his greatest sin, he’s doing all right.

Opening credits. So, I just now found out that on the Tiffany Fallon Playboy cover that we see, she has a Wonder Woman costume painted on. That presses about four different and contradictory buttons in my head all at once.

The Retarded Baby Ducklings meet Trump and his pink tie in “Trump’s Ice Cream Parlor”. Yes, that’s a real thing. I suppose the hardest thing about working there is quickly getting rid of themed-flavors when he leaves his various wives. So long, Ivanilla and Marla Maple Syrup. Wonder how long they’ll have the WaterMelania sherbet?

Trump congratulates Piers on his win and for getting rid of “your enemy, but also a person you seriously disliked.” As opposed to those enemies you like. You know, like when the Riddler invites Batman to play Laser Tag. Piers, with a straight face, calls it a sad day for America, which cracks up Ivanka and Little Stevie B. It’s too bad he didn’t add “And also, her boob job doesn’t look at all like it was done by Dr. Nick in the back of a van.”

Trump introduces Don Jr.’s stand-in for the week, a woman who looks exactly like the way I think Faye Dunaway looks, Broadway producer Darryl Roth. She’s the producer on Curtains, which you may remember as the show that lent David Hyde Pierce to Empresario so he could lurk around unseen.

This week, the Ducklings will be inventing and then selling Quiznos sandwiches. They’ll be selling $2 sandwiches, and they can’t call up their contacts. Wow, that’s a twist that would have really made the gameplay more interesting ten weeks ago. Better really late than never, I guess. Trump says it’s “As they say in New York ‘Totally legit’.” You might have to break that New York slang down for us Midwesterners. Is that like “Golly”? Or does it mean “23 skidoo”? I’ll never crack that impenetrable New York-specific jargon.

Trump also tells them that they only have two hours to prepare and two hours to sell. Because all those other tasks have required lengthy time commitments, I guess.

In the Empresario van, Stephen tells Trace what a great team they are, and that there’s nobody else he’d rather be working with. He puts out his hand for Trace to shake, and Trace does so without ever looking in Stephen’s direction. Do you get the feeling Trace is getting tired of all these boneheads? Stephen explains the task to us in an interview, in case we’ve already forgotten. He is wearing a plaid suit. Do they even make those anymore? Is he Biff Loman? They decide that Trace is project manager. He names the sandwich the Cowboy Club, which leads to the following exchange.

STEPHEN: That’s a great idea!

TRACE: I know.

For maximum reading enjoyment, please put as much incredulity into the part of Stephen Baldwin, while Trace’s delivery is more (as Myndi put it) “Eeyore with a cowboy hat.” Stephen finds it exactly as funny as I do, only I don’t laugh like a Muppet.

Trace and Stephen joke that Hydra will have the “Lennox Lewis Heavyweight sandwich – it’s a Knockout”, in hilarious British accents. Cut immediately to Piers, in his hilarious British accent, “The Champ Sandwich – it’s a Knockout.” Lennox loves it, Carol is slowly metamorphosing into a Cat Lady, so I can’t read her expression. Piers is already talking about fliers and in-store advertising, which, of course, feature pictures of Lennox Lewis. In an interview, Lennox says that he’s the project manager, and even though Piers tried to take over, he didn’t let him. Except for letting him name the sandwich and design the advertising before they even got to Quiznos.

At Quiznos, they ask the man in “Culinary Development” about the most popular sandwich. (Note that these are the new Flatbread Sammies, and not the traditional subs.) Culinary Development? At Quiznos? People like to eat things that are placed between two pieces of bread. That dude has an easy job, anyway he shows them their most popular sandwich, turkey, chipotle, and pepperjack cheese. Lennox suggests changing the cheese to cheddar for the Champ Sandwich. As lame as that is, it’s a good strategy. They have to design and sell their own sandwich, so they may as well stick to a successful formula.

Carol takes a picture of Lennox holding a sandwich for their advertising. Two funny things about this scene: When Carol takes the picture, she says “Groovy”. In my mind, every time somebody says that, it’s an Evil Dead reference. So with no evidence at all, I am not completely convinced that Carol Alt is a Bruce Campbell fan. The other funny thing is that the instant after she takes the picture, Lennox eats the sandwich. He’s like a breakfast cereal mascot driven mad by the deliciousness of the food awaiting him. He’s Cuckoo for Quiznos!

At Empresario, Trace needs a second cowboy hat so they can do their publicity shots. Stephen Baldwin explains something he learned in Hollywood, that they can take a picture of Trace, then give Stephen the hat and take a picture of him, and then combine the two pictures. My god, it really is a dream factory. If Trace is reluctant to share his hat with somebody nicknamed “Flea”, he doesn’t show it. Stephen thinks Trace looks too angry in the first picture, but Trace doesn’t say anything about Stephen looking too clueless in his shot.

Trace outlines the Cowboy Club – Prime rib, onion, mozzarella, chipotle, and bacon. That seems like a weird combination to me. I mean, it’s not outlandish, but I think I’d pass on it. Stephen repeats “Bacon” in an awed tone. Dude, he didn’t just invent the concept! Darryl shows up, and I think it’s odd that she’s visiting the task before the selling starts. There is some talk of Trace’s food allergy charity, and Darryl seems incongruously touched.

At Hydra, Lennox and Piers are out on the street, trying to entice people. This being New York, people just keep walking when a British man asks if they enjoy boxing. The first person they ask is already carrying a bag of food, which is kind of funny in and of itself. As Lennox points, out, they don’t have fliers yet and they haven’t started selling the sandwiches. I tend to think a Lennox Lewis-themed sandwich is more of an impulse buy. That’s not something people are going to rearrange their schedule to come back for in an hour. Carol is having trouble getting their advertising delivered on time. It seems to me that one thing New York city offers is a wide variety of conveniently located copy shops. If Carol can’t find a Kinko’s within walking distance, she’s not trying hard enough.

Carol explains to the men that the advertising is held up. For some reason, a weedy guy in a vest is following her everywhere. I couldn’t tell you what’s going on with that. Piers and Lennox have a good laugh over her inability to get advertising delivered, and they clearly have a pact to turn on her in the Boardroom if they lose. Then Piers interviews that Donald Trump didn’t get where he is today by listening to women who “flutter their eyes and say ‘It was all the men’s fault’.” And his woman voice on that last part is hilarious – it’s actually a dead-on Andy Milman impression. Lennox asks her again for a timeframe, and she blames it on traffic. I hate to say it, but this is not really Carol at her best.

Commercials. Is anybody going to judge me if I buy Enchanted on DVD?

Back at Empresario, Stephen is handing out fliers and wearing a strange green cover-up over his shirt. Later we see Piers wearing a red one, so I wonder if that’s official Quiznos garb. Trace explains the task to us yet again, because the producers think we’re simple. Does anybody else remember how the WB used to recap the first half of Gilmore Girls episodes at the half hour break? This is sort of like that, only it happens at every commercial break.

Stephen explains that they needed fliers so they walked to a print shop and had them made. Carol, you’ve been outthought by Stephen Baldwin. I hope you’re ashamed.

We see a montage of people ignoring Stephen while he talks like an old-timey carnival barker. At one point, he tells us of a passerby: “He thinks I’m crazy. I am crazy… for Jesus!” Man, Jesus wants no part of this. He’s watching Lost right now, anyway.

At Hydra, it’s 20 minutes until sales start, and they still have no advertising. Carol says she’ll have Steve call the messenger. I don’t know who Steve is, but I think he might be the weedy guy I mentioned earlier. Did she bring her personal assistant on this task? At that moment, the bike couriers shows up with their material. Their bike courier also appears to have come from the future, judging by his strange outfit. Perhaps that’s why it took so long.

Piers and Lennox try to pass out fliers, but everybody ignores them. They are shocked at how rude people are in New York. It’s not like anybody threw a smoothie at them, though. The pedestrians just ignored them. Judging by how offended Piers and Lennox are, I have to believe that in London, people immediately reconfigure their entire day in response to a flier. “Crikey! I had planned to catch a trolley over to North Haverbrook for the football match, but these blokes are selling a sandwich.” (Please note that in my mind, all British people are Dick VanDyke in Mary Poppins.)

Piers tells us that he’s exposing himself to “ritual humiliation and abuse, but I sort of get off on that, so that’s fine.” Who wanted that glimpse into Piers’ psyche? Back on the street, he’s now wearing the red cover-up I mentioned earlier. It’s a very strange edit. Piers is getting increasingly abusive, which is kind of fascinating to watch. I really like when he just starts swearing. He keeps talking up Lennox to disinterested civilians, and then he finally says “I’m never talking about Lennox Lewis again for the rest of my life.” Nobody really believes that, do they?

We see Empresario, and Trace is hanging out outside Quiznos and talking about his sandwich. Maybe it’s just me, but if I see a guy dressed like a cowboy loitering in New York City, trying to get the attention of passerby, I’m going to assume that he’s a male prostitute. And that totally makes Stephen Ratso! Now I really want to see them do a remake of Midnight Cowboy. He hands one guy a flier and tells him to “go harass Baldwin”. They guy heads to Quiznos, no doubt hoping for Alec or William. That’s going to be a disappointed man. We see several people excited about Trace, and one woman gushes that she just saw him in concert. Trace is really good at talking to his fans – he seems genuinely interested in them, even though about a million people just saw him in concert in one venue or another. Trace Adkins is one of the good ones.

Stephen interviews about how great Trace is doing, and “you put a little Stevie B. cherry on top, and it’s yummy, dude.” That statement could not be any creepier. And whatever you do, don’t try to picture a little Stevie B. cherry. That’ll put you off your feed in a hurry.

At Hydra, it’s “1 hour, 15 minutes until Sales End”. So, 45 minutes after sales begin then? Isn’t that like calling 5:45 “One and a quarter until 7”? Carol is seriously hustling the Champ Sandwich, possibly even talking people out of other orders. There’s a montage of people having their picture taken with Lennox, and we see Lennox eat another Champ sandwich. He explains to us that the task required him to do what he does best, acting like himself. Hee. I can think of several contestants on this show who don’t have such an easy time with that. (Oh, Vincent Pastore. You do know that you’re not actually Big Pussy, right?) He calls himself “the ultimate marketing machine”, which sounds kind of arrogant, but considering he’s been the focal point of just about every Hydra strategy, you can’t fault the guy for believing his own press.

Ivanka shows up, and man, that Quiznos is packed! Lennox says Piers is out on the corner doing what he does best, and we see Piers being ignored by all of New York. Ivanka gets a champ sandwich and seems to enjoy it. Like she’s ever eaten at Quiznos in her life.

The Empresario Quiznos is busy, but nothing like Hydra’s. Stephen is behind the counter, pushing the Cowboy Club. One woman, waving a flier, asks if it’s his sandwich. You mean, is the sandwich that features his face and name on the advertising the one he’s trying to get you to buy? Come to Piers Morgan with a dumbass question like that, and he’ll smack you around! And it’s amazing how dumb the word ‘cowboy’ sounds after somebody says it a thousand times. Stephen also keeps saying “I’m lovin’ it”, which is a different chain. Doofus.

Are you ready for the most pointless interview segment in a distinguished history of pointless interview segments? Stephen tells us that they ran out of sandwiches, so the lady making sandwiches said she had to make more, so he told her to make more. Wow.

We then see Stephen making sandwiches, which would upset me as a sandwich buyer.

Commercials. Holy crap, Tim Gunn is going to appear on Biggest Loser? Awesome. (Yes, in one recap I’ve professed my love of Enchanted, Gilmore Girls, and Project Runway. I do believe I’m all out of Man Cards.) Also, NBC is promoting their return of their Thursday lineup with the theme from Welcome Back, Kotter. I’m going to take that as a shout-out. (Oh, and NBC is apparently flipping Scrubs the bird with this promo, as the show is represented entirely by two grainy, black-and-white close-ups of Zach Braff.)

With ten minutes left in the sale, Piers has turned to stand-up. He tells us that Lennox is the ultimate marketing tool “short of the Pope and Nelson Mandela finding Elvis Presley and putting them all on a horse”. Piers, it makes my job harder when you’re actually being funny. He then does a whole bit where he mimics people running to the restaurant to see Lennox Lewis, and then people running to the restaurant so that Lennox won’t murder them with his bare hands. Piers has gotten a little slap-happy today.

There are three minutes left at Empresario, and Stephen has taken to calling everybody in the restaurant “Quiznos cowboys”. I bet that didn’t get irritating immediately. You will probably be surprised to hear that Stephen is enthusiastic and thinks they won.

In the Boardroom, Trump seems to be flirting with Lennox a little. Weird. Lennox tells him about the Champ Sandwich, and he thinks they won. Carol confirms that Lennox is a good Project Manager. She also loves working with Piers, because “he’s brilliant”. Piers confirms that they’re all brilliant, straightening his tie as he does so. He has to spend time rehearsing that kind of stuff.

Trace thinks they won, and that Stephen did a good job. Wow, the Boardroom’s a different place without Omarosa. Darryl likes the way they balanced each other out, with Trace being “respectful” and Stephen displaying “that great New York energy”. New York City called and has asked to not be associated with Stephen Baldwin’s energy. Ivanka also thinks everybody did a great job. There’s so going to be a group hug.

It turns out, Hydra sold 313 sandwiches, Empresario sold 253. Hydra wins again! Lennox is picking up another $20,000 for the Mohammed Ali Center. Good thing this wasn’t one of those tasks where the money raised ended up being the donation. Oooh, eleven hundred dollars!

Trump dismisses Hydra, and Piers and Lennox are out of there like a shot. Carol lags behind, saying “Do not do ‘Hydra’ without me.” Awww, she totally wants to fit in. It’s an interesting world where a supermodel is desperate to crack Piers Morgan’s inner circle.

Carol is happy to be the last woman left. She says that she’s beaten out some very bright businesswomen, and I am not sure if she actually remembers who was on the show. Go on, Carol, name somebody who can accurately be described as both “bright” and a “businesswoman”. Nely Galan and Omarosa were the only ones with business backgrounds, and they were colossal failures. Still, nice of her to say. She is also proud of beating some very successful men. Truly, any woman should be honored to be judged a better candidate than Vincent Pastore or Tito Ortiz.

Trace doesn’t see how they could have done better, when Trump asks who’s to blame, Trace says that he made all the decisions. He says this as if to take the blame, but I can think of more than a few people on this season who would have turned that into a criticism of Stephen. The lighting in the Boardroom makes Trace’s hat cast a shadow that almost completely obscures his face. It’s creepy.

Stephen says he and Trace get along so well because they think alike. There’s no way Trace is taking that as a compliment. Stephen thinks their loss might be due to being down a person, but I’m not really buying that. I think their comparatively low-key promotional strategy hurt them. Trump asks if they lost because Piers is such a great competitor.

In the Hydra suite, Piers is having a great time. He jokes that he hates it when they don’t turn on each other, and how he would have tossed Lennox under the bus. Lennox and Piers playfully roughhouse, which is not a sentence I ever thought I’d get to type back when the man crush jokes began.

Trump asks why Stephen’s been so unsuccessful lately. Stephen thinks it’s because he went from a winning team to “a sinking ship”. Well, he did ask to be moved, but we’ll ignore that. Trace calls Empresario “A disease. It’s tough to live with.” Stephen cracks up and says something about festering. Ivanka agrees it’s not a great name. Trump and Trace agree that they hate the name. Trump says, in fact: “I hate that name. I hate saying it. Boy, I hate that name.” You never know when he’s going to get passionate about something.

Ivanka blames the loss on their choice of sandwich. She says she preferred Empresario’s sandwich (even though we didn’t see her go there), but Hydra’s was more generic and broadly appealing. Trump brings up the point that people didn’t recognize Trace, and Trace agrees. He says that if the task were in Nashville, they’d have won handily. You know, I don’t get this idea that country music is this fringe cult that’s confined to certain areas of the nation. Country music is the music that people actually listen to. I don’t know a darn thing about country music, but I know that an album from Trace Adkins is going to sell a hell of a lot of copies. And those people will buy his next album and the one after that. Pop culture is always marginalizing country music for whatever reason, but Garth Brooks sells more albums than Britney Spears. Again, I don’t listen to country music, but a huge percentage of Americans do, and it doesn’t make sense to pretend that it’s this underground phenomenon limited to certain parts of the country.

When Trump asks Trace the “Who would you fire?” question, Trace squarely puts the blame on his big old Project Manager shoulders. Ivanka, who totally has a girl boner for Trace, asks him who can raise more money in the tasks to come, and Trace reluctantly admits that he can. This is getting weird. Never mind that Stephen has won twice as PM, compared to Trace’s two losses. Every selling task we’ve seen has had at least one of Stephen’s contacts show up and drop some serious money. Except for the art task, but that was a disaster on so many levels. Trace says Stephen hasn’t brought in any money, and that just doesn’t ring true to me. Maybe he sucks at closing deals, but they haven’t really shown us that. He’s getting big spenders to show up, though. I suddenly feel all confused.

Stephen responds that he would fire Trace, not for any specific reason, but because he was the Project Manager of a losing team. And generally, in the absence of a specific failure, that’s what would happen. Ivanka agrees, but she once again says that Trace raises more money. Man, Ivanka’s a fan. Trump sends them out so he can discuss with his wingmen.

In the Hydra suite, everybody agrees that they’d rather work with Trace. At this point, shouldn’t they be thinking about who they’d rather compete against at the end? I mean, you can count on Stephen doing something stupid that you can exploit. Do these people not understand how this show works?

Out in the lobby, Stephen whispers to Trace “I think they like you better than me”, and for just a second, it’s unbearably sad. Like, you can tell that this is not the first time he’s whispered that phrase. They’ve been a recurring motif since childhood, and suddenly, if you look past all the weirdness and toolishness, it’s hard not to feel a little bit sorry for the Flea.

In the Boardroom, Trump and Darryl agree that it’s a tough call. Ivanka also agrees that it’s a touch call, except for how Stephen should clearly be fired.


Back in the lobby, Stephen is pacing, and Trace calls him one of the most nervous people he’s ever met. Stephen says that he has “ants in my pants”, and the way he says it eliminates almost all of the good feelings he had accumulated. Traces suggests that he has crabs, which makes the receptionist look up hilariously. Stephens state that “those days are over”. The days when he had crabs? That gets a grin out of Trace. You know, Trace does seem to like him, and I really thought those two couldn’t get along without a buffer. (As evidenced by the fact that I actually said so last week.) It’s kind of sweet.

Trump calls them back in. Strangely, we actually hear him say “Annette, send them in”, and then they get up. Annette serves no real purpose at all.

This is kind of great. In the Boardroom, Trump actually leads with “I have to say, I love you.” Then there’s a pause before he rephrases as “I love the work you do.” Busted! He says they both did a good job on this task. Trump cites several reason why they lost, including that they didn’t have Lennox Lewis. Is Lennox way more famous than I think he is? I mean, I knew his name before this show started, but I couldn’t have picked him out of a crowd. Am I that out of step with pop culture now? (I knew that not reading Harry Potter or acknowledging the existence of High School Musical would come back to haunt me. Not that I’m suggesting either of those things feature Lennox Lewis. Maybe they do, I don’t know.) Trump asks Stephen how many decision he made on this task, and Stephen can only offer that he “chimed in”. In all fairness, though, this is not a decision-heavy task. Once you come up with the sandwich and name it, the rest is all selling. Also, it looked to me like Stephen came up with the design of the flier, but it’s hard to tell. No, wait. The flier included a picture of Stephen. Stephen totally designed it.

Trump says he needs to do more than “chime in” when they’re competing against three stars, one of whom is “a monster star”. Wow, I am totally out of touch. I’m getting the feeling that for everybody else in America, Lennox Lewis occupies the place in their Pantheon that Sarah Silverman or Green Lantern occupies in mine. (If anybody ever Googles “+Sarah Silverman +Green Lantern”, we’re going to be the first hit!) Trump and Stephen agree that Trace made great decisions, and that Stephen would have spoken up if he’d disagreed with anything. And he really would have – not like certain people (Omarosa) who wait to see if they lose before chiming in with their opposition. Trump asks who wants it more, and it’s a rather telling pause before either of them speaks. Finally, Trace says that his daughter has severe food allergies. At this point, Stephen cuts him off. “I have a food allergy.” Inappropriate oneupsmanship or hilarious new catchphrase? I say both! It can be two things! Who says it can’t be two things?

Trump gets Stephen to agree that Trace is awesome. Trump tells Stephen how much he respects him. When asked, Ivanka says she would fire Stephen. Then it turns into a whole thing where we’re back to Stephen’s inability to raise money, which is coming out of the blue. The part I like is that Trump keeps talking about his performance over “the last number of weeks”, like maybe Burnett would go back and put the correct number in. Trump can’t tell how long this show’s been on. Neither can I. I feel like men wore their hair longer back when the season started. Trump says Trace raised more money than anybody else, which is another thing we haven’t heard before. Trump hems and haws, and finally he fires Stephen. Wow. I would have picked him for the final two based on his early performance. Stephen’s really gracious about it and Trump keeps repeating “Not easy”.

In the lobby, there a hug and Trace tells Stephen that he has his number. Wouldn’t that be great if those two ended up becoming best friends? I want them to have their own show where they go off and have adventures. Farewell, Flea. You could be irritating as hell, but it was a better show for your contributions.

Everybody in the suite is happy to see Trace. Trace says he expected to be fired. Lennox responds with “Dude, you’re a likeable guy. Who hates you?” Trace gives the only sensible answer, “Hopefully nobody.” Ha!

Wait, it’s not over! Trump calls the Final Four back to the Boardroom! Before the night is over, two of them will be fired!

Now, I was irritated with this. Why not actually fire them based on a task? It seems like a lot of hemming and hawing in that last Boardroom to pick Stephen, and then have to fire two more people. It would make more sense to have a two-on-two task and then fire the losing team to find the finalists.

However, Trump screwed up the episode count when he didn’t fire anybody on the carriage task. If he’d fired somebody then, this task probably would have resulted in the firing of the losing team. So I guess I have to cut them some slack for the awkwardness. I’m going with Piers and Lennox for the Final Two (and the other Celebrity Apprentice viewers on staff agree). Piers has been sort of the focal point for the show, with everybody focused on beating him. And Trump loves Lennox, so he’s got an in. Trace hasn’t won as Project Manager, likeable as he is, and Carol has done well enough but you can’t really credit her with anything particularly sensational. I think Piers and Lennox will be dragging out their sordid love affair right to the end of the series.

The promo promises the return of the ousted celebrities (Imagine my excitement at the return of Gene Simmons….), Sarah Ferguson, the Backstreet Boys (what?), “and, of course, Piers.” Wow, way to tip your hand, NBC.

Two episodes left! See you next week…

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