I had a Batman action figure that had a grappling hook on its belt which you could hook onto, say, a lamp or any other such home accessory your mother would’ve probably prefer not to be broken. This particular Batman didn’t really “climb” so much as “rip” when the grappling hook retracted. It sucked. And then when you were playing with this Batman figurine and weren’t climbing super-ultra quickly via the retracting spring loaded string, your Batman would be walking around with the equivalent of a ships anchor hanging off his belt buckle. Talk about a sucky toy. The excitement of Christmas morning gives way to feelings of desperation and regret, and you realize you should have asked for the standard issue Batman figurine.
I cut the grappling hook (anchor) off by mid-January.
That just about says it all. Just try and picture Batman actually using one of these, being jerked upwards at approximately one hundred miles an hour by his crotch. So the sudden acceleration would probably break his spine, and then he slams his genitals into whatever cornice or outcropping on which he’d hooked his belt. (Probably a gargoyle. Every building in Gotham City has gargoyles.)
God forbid you overextend the hook, and end up with a Batman whose belt is forever trailing behind him by about five feet of string. Why would somebody do this to Batman? Why?
Come to think of it, that belt sounds like something Wile E. Coyote would use, too. I think that’s how you can tell when the concept for a Batman action figure has hopped the rails. If actual use of this item would cause a boulder to fall on him and compress him like an accordion, it should probably not be packaged with Batman. Just make a figure that punches when you squeeze his legs together. Those are always fun!
