A Beautiful Gory Display

A Beautiful Gory Display: The Spirit

By now, you’ve probably chosen not to see The Spirit. You have made the right choice. It is a bad movie. If this movie somehow took physical form and walked down the street, you would band together with your neighbors to kill it with fire. But it’s important to note that there’s no reason the movie had to be bad. It’s not like it’s about horny teenagers traveling across the country, based on a videogame, or stars Mike Myers. Unfortunately, it’s the not kind of bad that’s hilarious or even well-intentioned. It is, in fact, deeply sad.
There’s a lot to talk about here. I feel like I need to give you as much information as possible, just so you don’t write this off as a cranky rant and decide to see it anyway. You, as moviegoers, need to be prepared. See, I honestly don’t think this is a matter of taste. I think this is an objectively bad movie. Let me give you an example, just to make sure we’re on the same page. At one point, Samuel L. Jackson, dressed in a kimono and glued-on sideburns, cuts a cloned henchman in half with a katana. This scene is shot against a plain white background, and the special effect of bisection is achieved by cutting a still photo of the actor in two. And whatever you’re picturing right now looks 50% better than the actual result.

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