A Beautiful Gory Display: The Spirit
The Spirit began life in the 1940’s in a comic book produced as a weekly newspaper supplement. Produced by a kid named Will Eisner, The Spirit was originally a well-written and drawn serial, miles ahead of the standards of the time. When Eisner returned to the feature after a stint in the Army, though, he revolutionized the art form. Eisner, and I can not emphasize this enough, turned out to be one of the most important cartoonists of the 20th Century. The Spirit transcended its pulp roots and became a weekly masterpiece of comic art.
Eisner invented storytelling techniques on a regular basis. In an era where comic heroes roughed up racketeers in stories that were laid out in a simple format and heavy with expository narration, Eisner experimented with page layout, breaking and even eliminating panel borders. He told stories that could be read either left to right or top to bottom. Eisner mixed action and comedy, and sometimes even used the adventures of the Spirit as a backdrop to tell human-interest stories only vaguely connected to the character. (Poor, poor Gerhard Shnobble.) The post-war Spirit installments are decades ahead of their time, and are regarded as unquestioned classics in the industry.Sidebar: One thing is worth noting in the interest of full disclosure. While I bow to no one in my admiration of Will Eisner, it should be mentioned that The Spirit had a rather unfortunate sidekick by the name of Ebony White. Ebony is a rather offensive African-American caricature with minstrel-show speech patterns. In all fairness to Eisner, this was 1940, and uncomfortable stereotypes were common in all forms of entertainment. And after serving in the Army, where presumably Eisner met some actual Black people, he set about redeeming the character as much as possible. His later half-century of work more than makes up for the outdated Ebony as well, but it still must be mentioned. Ebony, after all, is the one serious impediment to modern readers attempting to read the series.
Now, I have to explain a little about the Spirit in order to make it clear just how far wrong the 
movie went. Denny Colt was a criminologist who either died and came back or survived a near-death experience, depending on which version of the origin you read. With a second chance at life, he devoted himself to fighting crime as a masked man. He generally worked with the Central City Police, though he traveled abroad if need be. The Spirit was a regular guy without any powers whatsoever.
movie went. Denny Colt was a criminologist who either died and came back or survived a near-death experience, depending on which version of the origin you read. With a second chance at life, he devoted himself to fighting crime as a masked man. He generally worked with the Central City Police, though he traveled abroad if need be. The Spirit was a regular guy without any powers whatsoever.Movie Spirit, on the other hand, has a Wolverine-like healing ability. In fact, this power pretty much forms the spine of the movie. So, you know, the movie is based on something that is verifiably not correct about the character. This isn’t a quibble about an origin or a cosmetic change – the entire movie hinges on something that isn’t intrinsic to the Spirit. It’s as if The Dark Knight gave Batman the power to transform into a monster truck.
Oh, it’s also very important to the movie that Greek mythology is, in fact, widely understood to actually be true historical fact. This isn’t ever explained or even referenced in the script until halfway through, when the plot requires everybody to casually accept that Zeus sired a number of half-mortal children who have left artifacts lying about. It’s really weird and jarring, about as literal a deus ex machina as you can get. This sloppy plotting comes to us from writer-director Frank Miller. Miller created the comics on which the movies Sin City and 300 were based, but this is his first attempt at both writing an original screenplay and directing. It turns out he is not good at either of those things.
Frank Miller is another groundbreaking cartoonist. As influential as Eisner in his way, Miller came to prominence in the 1980’s with a wildly popular run on Daredevil. He achieved mainstream fame in 1986 with the mini-series about Batman’s return from retirement, The Dark Knight Returns. While still regarded by many as a classic, it doesn’t really hold up. Miller’s politics veer wildly from radical to reactionary, he mistakes brutality for excitement, and his idea of satire is clankingly unfunny. (Cyborg Ronald Reagan? Oh, hold my sides.) In contrast to Eisner, who remained respected and vital right up until his 2004 death, Miller’s work has turned to self-parody. You can see it in the repetitive violence and misogyny of Sin City, or the even more repetitive violence of 300, which also manages to be both homoerotic and homophobic, sometimes in the same scene. His early work is impressive, and he really displayed great talent. Even once he’d fallen into self-parody, Miller could still sporadically produce quality work. Sadly, those occasions are becoming increasingly rare.There’s no telling whether the inventive and exciting Frank Miller of the early 80’s could have 
done a better job as a director, but the increasingly erratic hack he’s become never had a prayer. It seems he was trying to mix action and humor like Eisner did, but since Frank Miller’s idea of action is confusingly-staged violence, and his idea of humor is something that is most assuredly not humor, it’s an unwatchable, joyless mess.
done a better job as a director, but the increasingly erratic hack he’s become never had a prayer. It seems he was trying to mix action and humor like Eisner did, but since Frank Miller’s idea of action is confusingly-staged violence, and his idea of humor is something that is most assuredly not humor, it’s an unwatchable, joyless mess.I should note the cast at this point, before really explaining the stupidity in which they ended up participating. The movie’s full of people who are really good actors and/or ridiculously hot. Unfortunately, they spend 105 minutes speaking dialogue that no human being would ever say. Gabriel Macht has the makings of a fine Spirit, if only the script had cooperated. “What smells dental? Dental and… Nazis!” Go on, parse that line and try to figure out what it means and how you might say it in a major motion picture.
Samuel L. Jackson makes some bad movies, but the important thing is that he always freaking attacks those movies. Put him in a lousy movie, and he’ll go straight over the top to salvage it. Remember how excited he was about Snakes on a Plane? Yeah. Even Sam Jackson doesn’t give a crap here. He seems to have made a game out of playing the lead villain, the Octopus, as a different
character in every scene. Is he all swagger? Effeminate? A street thug? A respected doctor? A religious acolyte? All depends on what scene you’re watching. And for some reason, there’s a running “joke” about how much the Octopus loves eggs. Only, there’s no setup and no payoff. There are no eggs in the movie, and no reason for the Octopus to mention eggs ever. And yet he does.
character in every scene. Is he all swagger? Effeminate? A street thug? A respected doctor? A religious acolyte? All depends on what scene you’re watching. And for some reason, there’s a running “joke” about how much the Octopus loves eggs. Only, there’s no setup and no payoff. There are no eggs in the movie, and no reason for the Octopus to mention eggs ever. And yet he does.Sidebar: In the Spirit comics, the Octopus never actually appeared on panel. All we ever saw were his gloves. After seeing Jackson’s outfits in this movie, I think I know why Eisner kept him off-panel. More importantly, the use of the Octopus really seems odd. The Octopus was a behind the scenes kind of crimelord, while the movie’s Octopus is a flamboyant mad scientist with ties to The Spirit’s origin. For one thing, that means the character as presented is much closer to Eisner’s Dr. Cobra. For another, it’s just another example of how Miller didn’t make a movie about The Spirit. This is evident with the female cast, too. Other than Ellen Dolan, the characters in the movie seem to be a random selection of characters from the comics, with little to no regard for whether they actually resemble those characters. Sand Saref, as presented in the movie, is written more like a crappy version of P’Gell. And P’Gell, Eisner’s most notorious femme fatale is absent from the movie entirely in favor of some obscure also-rans. What Miller seems to have done is written a movie and then applied names of characters from The Spirit at random. I mean, I can name my turds “Biff” and “Willie”, but that doesn’t make a bowel movement Death of a Salesman.
One sign of progress for Miller is that a PG-13 rating means that the female characters wear clothes and don’t get raped. (Every female character in 300 is the victim of sexual violence or a slave. The only female character in Sin City who isn’t a stripper or prostitute spends the bulk of her screen time naked in a dungeon.) Sure, there’s a whole scene where the Spirit tracks down Sand Saref by showing a photocopy of her ass to hotel doormen all across the city, but at least none of the women are seriously brutalized for a change.
Eva Mendes appears as Sand Saref, who is important to the plot and yet deeply underwritten. Other than a melodramatic flashback to her shared childhood with Denny Colt (which based on contextual clues, is set in either 1943 or 1999), the script assumes that we’re going to recognize her as the “Catwoman character” so there’s no real effort to give her a personality. Scarlett Johansson sleepwalks through her role as the Octopus’ moll, Silken Floss. Between her appearance here and her dreadful album of Tom Waits covers, a considerable portion of her recent output has been devoted to crapping on things that I love. I assume that her next movie will be called EJ’s Dog is Weird-Looking. Paz Vega briefly shows up as Plaster of Paris, who serves no purpose at all other than to dress in a belly dancer outfit. And while most movies would benefit from Paz Vega in a belly dancer outfit, I was long beyond the point of caring when she showed up.
Sarah Paulson had a leg up on the other actresses here, since she spent a season on Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. There, she played a thinly-veiled version of Aaron Sorkin’s ex-girlfriend and served as the straw man for his weekly screeds about the stupidity of religion. As a result, she’s used to painful dialogue that does not resemble human speech. Unfortunately, Ellen Dolan is deeply bland and reduced to staring wistfully at the Spirit whenever he shows up at the hospital with bullet wounds.
Sidebar: Back in the 40’s Ellen Dolan was a prominent character in The Spirit. The daughter of Commissioner Dolan, she was a regular love interest for our hero. And while she was often reduced to staring wistfully at the Spirit, she was also an early feminist. Granted, she was often flighty and two-dimensional, she could be feisty and smart and stood up for herself. Lois Lane couldn’t pull that off until the 70’s. In the 40’s, she was a standout. And in the movie, even though she now has a job as a surgeon, she lost the spine that distinguished her 60 years ago. This is depressing.
And then there’s poor Stana Katic. Now, she’s not really well known, but I love Stana Katic. She’s 
had small roles on 24 and Heroes, and she was the only thing I liked about Quantum of Solace. She pops up occasionally and just kind of makes everything prettier. She plays a policewoman named Morgenstern, and something’s just off. She does this stereotypical Long Island accent, sort of halfway between Rhoda and Fran Drescher. Now, Katic actually has a Croatian accent, so the effect is sort of like when Boris Badenov impersonated a Texas oil baron. But she wears an enormous Star of David and sprinkles in some Yiddish words, and you have to wonder what the hell is going on. (For the record, I don’t blame Stana Katic for any of this. Frank Miller plays a small role early in the movie, and his character does that accent, too. I don’t get it, but it’s worth noting that Miller’s head gets torn off. And he proves himself to be a real triple threat. Can’t script, can’t direct, can’t act.)
had small roles on 24 and Heroes, and she was the only thing I liked about Quantum of Solace. She pops up occasionally and just kind of makes everything prettier. She plays a policewoman named Morgenstern, and something’s just off. She does this stereotypical Long Island accent, sort of halfway between Rhoda and Fran Drescher. Now, Katic actually has a Croatian accent, so the effect is sort of like when Boris Badenov impersonated a Texas oil baron. But she wears an enormous Star of David and sprinkles in some Yiddish words, and you have to wonder what the hell is going on. (For the record, I don’t blame Stana Katic for any of this. Frank Miller plays a small role early in the movie, and his character does that accent, too. I don’t get it, but it’s worth noting that Miller’s head gets torn off. And he proves himself to be a real triple threat. Can’t script, can’t direct, can’t act.)The only person who comes off reasonably well is Dan Lauria as Commissioner Dolan. His relationship with the Spirit is a little more contentious than I’d like, but I suppose it helps to avoid comparisons with that other famous Commissioner who has a close working relationship with a big-time superhero. Lauria acts like he’s in a real movie, and he’s surprisingly fun to watch. Also, I was surprised that Lauria is still alive. As near as I can tell, when the final voiceover on The Wonder Years revealed that Jack Arnold died some years later, I mixed the actor up with the character.
Those unfortunate actors find themselves in a mess of a story. The narration has the Spirit describing his relationship with Central City in almost sensuous terms. Rather than fitting the Spirit, it seems more like the second-worst Batman dialogue ever written. (Miller himself wrote the worst Batman dialogue ever a few years ago with the immortal: “What are you, dense? Are you 
retarded or something?….. I’m the goddamn Batman.”) An early fight scene has Hanna-Barbera sound effects, and gets worse from there. After the muddy battle, the Octopus ends up with a face full of thick mud. The mud lasts for so long, and is the subject of so many close-ups that you find yourself wondering if Miller actually intended to put Samuel Jackson in blackface. From there it’s silliness involving simple-minded clones (who in yet another painfully unfunny running joke all have names ending in “-os”), misogyny, and digital snow that falls in every exterior scene, yet never lands on the characters or accumulates on the ground (except in one scene where the Spirit throws a snowball). By the time a crowd gathers to jeer at the Spirit when he’s hanging from a building with his pants around his ankles, it’s completely off the rails. At that point, it seems like Miller’s doing a parody of something, but certainly not of the Spirit. (By the way, that jeering crowd includes, and I am not making this up, Jesus.)
retarded or something?….. I’m the goddamn Batman.”) An early fight scene has Hanna-Barbera sound effects, and gets worse from there. After the muddy battle, the Octopus ends up with a face full of thick mud. The mud lasts for so long, and is the subject of so many close-ups that you find yourself wondering if Miller actually intended to put Samuel Jackson in blackface. From there it’s silliness involving simple-minded clones (who in yet another painfully unfunny running joke all have names ending in “-os”), misogyny, and digital snow that falls in every exterior scene, yet never lands on the characters or accumulates on the ground (except in one scene where the Spirit throws a snowball). By the time a crowd gathers to jeer at the Spirit when he’s hanging from a building with his pants around his ankles, it’s completely off the rails. At that point, it seems like Miller’s doing a parody of something, but certainly not of the Spirit. (By the way, that jeering crowd includes, and I am not making this up, Jesus.) Now, I could have written this off as incompetence, felt sad about the missed opportunities, and moved on. But there is one scene that is absolutely breathtaking in its offensiveness. About halfway through, the Octopus and Silken Floss don Nazi uniforms and bring the captive Spirit into a room decorated with swastikas and portraits of Hitler. Nothing in the Octopus’ plan, which he explains at great length, evokes Nazism. (And you know who usually don’t have portraits of Hitler? Black people.) It’s sheer exploitation and tastelessness, and I have the sick feeling Miller thinks it’s funny. When you realize that Will Eisner a) was Jewish; b) served in the Army during World War II; and c) spent much of the creative output of his later years trying to understand and respond to anti-Semitism, the inclusion of this scene is almost obscene.
If it weren’t for that scene, I don’t think any of this would have bothered Will Eisner, who died in 2004. He didn’t consider The Spirit his legacy. He had fun, kept some affection for the character, and moved on. Will Eisner always expressed the hope that his later work, like A Contract with God, The Dreamer, Family Matters, The Plot, among others, would be the work he was remembered for. But the casual inclusion of Hitler as a visual gag spits on everything that Eisner stood for.
During the credits, we see Spirit comic art. But instead of using Eisner’s art, they’re all drawn by Frank Miller. Some of them are even recreations of classic Eisner panels. Throughout the movie, characters and streets and businesses are named after significant creators in comic book history. But none of the namechecked creators were actually involved with The Spirit. Spider-Man’s co-creator gets referenced, but there’s no “Eisner Avenue”. This is all oddly appropriate, for a movie that’s completely bereft of both Will Eisner’s spirit and his Spirit.
