The only thing I need to point out about the previouslies is that the announcer is calling Brian a puppetmaster. Can we just retire that term officially on this show? NO ONE will ever be Dr. Will, though many will try and fail. Julie informs us that there have already been blindsides, (“which cannot happen without traitors!” Dun dun dun!) and we see Jerry nominate Brian. Since I don’t think Brian is actually all that stupid, he’s taking it pretty well. Did he jump out way too early and make tons of alliances when his best move would have been to sit there and look pretty? You bet. But is a complete moron? I don’t think so. Except for the part where he likes Dan. I don’t get that at all. Dan, by the way, says he is “dumbfounded”. I’m guessing this happens a lot. Ollie is given up as the ringleader of the blindside, which, whatever. The guy was cornered by April, Keesha and Libra, and he saw what was going on. It’s way too early to have these steadfast and true alliances, DAN. Then again, Ollie’s falling for April Sapien and her real (but are they spectacular?) breasts, and making out with her in bed. She DRs that it’s part of her plan to get further in the game. I’m not sure if Ollie’s too busy playing motorboat to see the big picture or not, but that’s a question for another day.
Brian attempts to win everyone over to his side with sock puppet theater, which is entertaining (especially the Renny and April puppets) and self-deprecating, but if you’ve already been outed as a gamer and are on the block against somebody who it’s already been determined won’t win, this little display is not going to change people’s minds. Well, it almost gets Angie (you know, the Asian Sensation), who brings up the possibility of ridding the house of “drama” aka Renny, instead of Brian, to Keesha. All that does is cause a fight between April and Keesha, which escalates pretty quickly, given what we’re shown. I was a little confused at the level of anger. I was also expecting more pigtail pulling, but no matter. April and Libra seem to think that Renny, clad in stunning leopard print pants and matching kerchief, should pack her bags. Sometimes, with Renny and her caftans and and accessories, I feel like I’m watching The Bird Cage or Sunset Boulevard…or maybe even Nathan Lane’s Birdcage character in Sunset Boulevard.
During the live part of the show where Chenbot interviews the houseguests, Jessie says Renny has not shown him any respect, so he has not given any to her either. Jessie, sweetie? LET IT GO. She’s a nutjob and she woke you up. Deal with it. God. When questioned about how she could go on a 3 month long game show with five month old twins at home, Libra only says that people have to understand her circumstances (read: I have all these kids, so I really need $500K and also, bit of a famewhore), plus she’s got her mom and husband to help her out. Well, I should hope she didn’t just leave them to fend for themselves.
In the almost always useless HOH room Chenterview, Jerry mentions,for about the seventeenth time, that he didn’t wear any military regalia when he turned on Brian. I do like Jerry–he reminds me of my Papa–but he needn’t mention this every time. Jerry also feels the girls who gave him the scoop are “Jerry’s Angels”. This is also something my Papa would have said, if he’d somehow ended up on Big Brother, so I choose to find it endearing. It must also be pointed out, as we head to a vote, that Renny looks and acts as if Mama Rose from Gypsy and Sue Hawk had a baby. There’s the stuff of nightmares for you! She also can’t give a speech to save her life. Brian, who seems to know he’s toast, basically says it was fun and it’s just a game.
The voting takes place live and is notable for just a few things. First of all, Michelle is rocking some 80s hair with the big pouffy top barette; Ollie calls Julie Chen “‘Lil Mama”; and Dan thinks he’s clever when he tells “Mrs. Chen” she looks beautiful. Sorry, Dan, it’s Mrs. Moonves. Do some reasearch, tool. spunkyreader Mindy made an excellent observation in pointing out that Memphis, who ends up being the nail in Brian’s proverbial coffin, looks exactly like Ray, Donna’s boyfriend from 90210 who pushed her down the stairs that time in Malibu. Perhaps he’ll sing “How Do You Talk to An Angel?” for Jerry’s girls one night around the hot tub. That would be awesome!
In his Chenterview, Brian admits he got ahead of himself, and says that Dan is very trustworthy, but may have too much of a conscience to win the game. He neglects to mention that Dan is sort of a prick, but maybe he hasn’t read his bio like I have to help build up his ire. In the goodbye videos, Keesha cites Brian’s arrogance while Ollie tags him as the biggest threat, which is good for Brian’s ego, I’m sure. Steve says he’ll miss Brian and Dan says he was like his big brother…ugh, go away, Dan. For his part, Brian thinks Ray–I mean Memphis–has this all sewn up.
The ensuing HOH competition is another of the ever-popular “let’s see who made more of a first impression” multiple choice deals (“Who would you rather see in only a bikini all summer, Angie or Keesha?”) and it’s not really worth boring you with the details, except to say that I’m pretty sure a few of the hamsters threw it at this stage of the game, which is fine.
Jessie ends up winning, so he better stop whining about respect, and start making me like him, or it’s going to be a long week. And since April Sapien jumped into Jessie’s arms, I guess we can see where that’s going. Sex is listed one of her hobbies!
See you on Wednesday for the latest on the food competition and nominations, as well as my ever-changing opinions on these freaks.
