Previously on Big Brother:The whole season.This probably isn’t the best episode to start with.
I’ll be recapping the first hour of the episode, and Myndi will have Hour Two for you tomorrow.And we’re a little slaphappy at the end of the season, so there’s a chance that we’re just going to totally start lying about what’s happening on screen (Not me! I’ll stay true to my word!–Myndi).
So when last we saw the houseguests, Kevin and Jordan had each won a round of the final competition.Natalie won nothing, which is as it should be.And now Julie Chen is live, and she appears to be wearing a Slanket (see, we said “Snuggie”, well my husband did, but the Slanket is the original!–Myndi).One last chance to have your water break on air, Julie!
Magic Voice recaps the season, and isn’t it hard to remember that the cliques happened this season?It feels like Bush was still President back then.And remember when Chima went crazy?That was awesome.Also, we all love Jeff and the recap reminds us of that, every chance it gets.It’s actually amazing how you can recap the entire season and only mention Natalie maybe twice.Was she on the show from the beginning?And man, there was a lot of shouting this season.
Hey, did you know that I am Facebook friends with Week Two evictee Laura?I’ve been waiting for weeks to bring that up in a clever way, only to fail miserably.
Going back to the tape, Kevin explains that he’s happy that Jordan won the second round.He thinks Natalie would beat him in the Jury, though what we’ve seen of the Jury House suggests that at this point, she’d probably lose to Braden.We see footage of Natalie begging Kevin to take her to the Final Two, and Kevin agrees in a completely unconvincing manner.Nothing against background material, but don’t they have a lot to cover tonight?You’d think they’d want to get to it…
Later, with Natalie in the Diary Room, Kevin and Jordan talk about bringing one another to the Final Two.They each seem unsure of the other, and Jordan explains in the Diary Room that she would actually rather take Natalie, since she can beat her.I would say that’s a definite, but Jordan doesn’t know what’s happening in the Jury House, so it’s actually kind of a leap of faith for her (I’m frankly impressed with her instincts on this.–Myndi).
Kevin heads for the hammock, and Natalie goes to work on Jordan.She hopes they can stay friends after the show, even though Natalie even admits that they haven’t really talked or been friends in the house. (Loved when she said Jordan reminded her of one of her girlfriends back home. Yeah, right!–Myndi)The next day, Kevin runs the numbers in his head and doubts he can win against either one.Natalie tries to convince him that she can’t win, so she should totally go to the final two.Kevin complains (to Natalie) that he played better than her, but the doesn’t think he can win.They get irritated with one another pretty quickly.
Back live, Julie takes us to the living room.Julie asks what Big Brother has taught Kevin about himself, and Kevin claims to have learned how awesome he is.That should not surprise anyone.Natalie gets a question, and all I can think about is how I’ll never have to hear that voice again after tonight.Julie asks Jordan how the game has changed her, and Jordan feels like she’s an adult now, and she says it in a way that’s absolutely adorable.
Time to see Michele enter the Jury House.Well, we start with Jeff talking about how much he likes the Jury House, and it seems like everybody is getting along. (We actually started off with a long, lingering shot of Jeff’s glistening abs, but I can see you wanting to gloss over that.–Myndi)Then he makes fun of Lydia for always agreeing with Jessie.Wow, remember when she used to be mad at him?For like two minutes?
Michele arrives, which disappoints Jeff and Russell.Jessie gloats, because that’s who he is.She tells them about the Pandora’s Box, and nobody cares that Lydia got engaged.Jeff:“How’s her boyfriend?Is he a tool?”Michele tries to high-five him on that.He responds “I don’t need a high five for bashing somebody.Was he?”Ha!Oh, how I’ve missed him.For his part, Jeff doesn’t even believe the engagement is real.Michele is not surprised that Natalie isn’t 18, but she hates her just the same.
Everybody is nauseated by Natalie on the HoH tape, and even moreso by her nomination footage.Lydia gets her first laugh of the season with “She’s the wannabe Flava Flav” and then gets her second laugh by calling her “the queen of the trailer park”.Jeff says that he won’t vote for Natalie just because of the outfit.The Natalie Hate Party continues, both there and at my house.
The Jury gathers outside to talk about the Final Three.They mention that those three didn’t get there by winning, but Jeff doesn’t see that as a bad thing.Lydia and Jeff fight because Jeff dared suggest that Kevin might not be the greatest thing since puppies. Jeff says that talking to Lydia is “like talking to a road cone”.Ha!
Russell thinks everybody played better than Jordan, but Jeff defends her.But Russell thinks she got there by attaching herself to Jeff.Jeff compliments her to the moon, and also points out that Lydia attached herself to Jessie.Russell claims Natalie’s suckiness was a strategy, so clearly one person bought into that.Jessie flat out says that Natalie didn’t contribute to the game, which makes me laugh.Jeff slams Natalie for clinging to whoever was in power and not playing her own game, and also says to Jessie “This room doesn’t fit your head, and we’re outside”. (That was the best! I LOVE him!–Myndi)Lydia gives Kevin credit for getting Jessie out.Yes, because that’s how that happened.Michele says she’s the most bitter person in the Jury House.This is actually all pretty funny, largely because I like several people involved.
Time for the final competition!They’ll see how well they know the Jury.Julie will read the beginning of a statement made by a Jury member, and they have to select the ending.The first question is about Jessie, who apparently felt “The ladies” were the best thing about being in the house.One point for Kevin.Lydia says the most irritating thing in the House was the Coup d’Etat – a point for Jordan.Russell says the one thing he’d change is how much he told Michele, which is interesting.And also puts Jordan in the lead.Jeff says his fatal error was not winning his last POV, which ties it up again.Last question is Michele, who feels Jessie is the houseguest most in need of a reality check.Both get it, and we’re tied.
Tiebreaker time!How many total votes to evict, including tie-breaker votes, have been cast this season.Jordan guesses 50, Kevin guesses 80, and the answer is 51.Jordan wins it! (Woo-Hoo! Go, Jordan!–Myndi)Julie kicks it to commercial while the live audience freaks out.Man, I am thrilled that she’s Final Two!We might be able to pull this season out of its post-Jeff crappiness.
It’s time for Jordan to choose who’ll be standing with her at the end.Natalie’s final speech is sort of about how much she liked Jessie.Well, that’s compelling.Kevin leads with “Mine will be short”, and he’s much less irritating. (So is a bad rash.–Myndi)Jordan says she thinks she’ll come in second place either way, but thinks she has a better chance against Natalie.So, she evicts Kevin.I think it’s a good move on her part.Kevin takes it well, and Jordan couldn’t be more apologetic.Kevin’s not sure if he should leave, which is kind of funny.I think Jordan just won herself the game right there.
Well, that’s the one-hour mark, so I’m cutting it off right before Kevin gets his Chenterview.Myndi will have the results and the reunion tomorrow, and then we’ll say good-bye for another season.
