Russell and Jessie–Members of the Cobra Kai Dojo, Karate Kid. These two meatheads are, as Jeff stated at the end of Tuesday’s episode, “drunk with power” and acting like bullies.
They’re pretty sure their “superalliance” with the brains will dictate who gets voted out, but barely a week in, they’ve already had someone defect from their athlete team and they’ve pissed off several of the other Houseguests. This early on, the power is one thing and it’s great for them that they’ve won so much at the start, but they may still be outnumbered when it comes to an actual vote. Jessie, who is apparently hell bent on WWE stardom is a special brand of dumb and conceited, while Russell is not actually stupid, just so full of himself that you want to punch him. He did win the POV competition by spelling “Shotgun” with letters he pulled from the puss and goo of giant fake pimples, after all. On that note, I imagine the BB prop designers cry themselves to sleep each night for having to construct these things. Lydia & Kevin–Andie and Duckie, Pretty in Pink. Lydia was sort of the star of the show this week, while Kevin wisely faded into the background, letting the weirdness play out around him. So, maybe a little less like Duckie, and more like a gay Blaine (“That’s a major appliance, that’s not a name!”) Lydia was all about coaching him on how to relate to HOH Jessie and her own over-schmoozing of the big lug ended up making her look so suspicious to Russell and Natalie (or, “Scrappy”, as Russ calls her) that she got nominated for her trouble. After the POV, she turned her magic massage hands on Russell and was able to convince him that Braden was a big mastermind, what with all his being the Zenmaster and everyone’s wacky best pal. Braden–Randy, Valley Girl. Goofy, annoying Braden. He really does bear a striking resemblance to Nic Cage is his debut role! He was able to stump poor Jordan with the mere mention of 90 degree angles in the inaugural “Have or Have Nots” challenge, where he led his popular clique to the safety of food, hot showers and comfy beds for the week, along with the athletes and the offbeats. I guess that, and strutting around in leather pants or flippers and making up words, was enough to terrify the meatheads. He made his own special, impromptu speech when he became the replacement nominee, which he barely gave loud enough for anyone to hear, let alone comprehend. At this point, I only hope he stays because it thwarts the plans of the Cobra Kai, and I’m all for that. Chima–Jules, St. Elmo’s Fire. Chima calls herself “too diva” to sleep in the loser bedroom she’s stuck with after Ronnie (who’s the “National Champion of Persuasive Speaking”, by the way!) massively overthought the Have and Have Not Challenge, resulting in epic failure. She’s just plain embarrassed to be associated with her team and she’s pretty snotty about it, much like Jules would be. The difference is that Jules might then go snort some blow and sleep with her boss, which Chima’s not in the position to do right now. She’s not making any real friends to this point, and though she’s the pawn this week, may be going home. Ronnie & Michelle–Gilbert and his girlfriend, Revenge of the Nerds. Between his strong need to make movie analogies (which we can’t really knock around here) and his insistence that he’s the biggest student of this game, Ronnie is not looking good. He approached Jessie with the idea to ally their two teams, but is not very good about being discreet when going all double agent and passing along what the jocks tell him to various other houseguests. In that way, he’s as awkward Anthony Edwards’ character in Revenge of the Nerds. Plus he actually spent much of the week wearing a shirt that read “Dork”. Michelle admitted to having been chastised as a lesbian in high school, which seemed an odd overshare for this early on. Then she did the least sexy strip down to her bathing suit ever in an attempt to compete with Laura in some bikini modeling thing done out of sheer boredom. She’s totally reminding me of Gilbert’s girlfriend in that movie at this point. She’s certainly not dumb and she’ll be pretty with some help, but she has to work on her people skills a bit.
