Kristen emerges from nowhere, and all of a sudden we’re focusing on her budding showmance with Hayden. OK, the pillows on the couch outside are the exact ones my grandparents used to have, except orange instead of green. This is jarring. She says she’s complicated and hates cocky guys. Hayden says he has to try harder with her than “regular girls.” You mean like the 15 year olds who confuse you with Justin Beiber? I’m already bored. Also? Hayden has almost no upper lip.
