Lane thanks Kathy for doing his laundry, and says he didn’t know she was there half the time. Dude, join the club. Ragan points out that Matt fights in every competition while Kathy just floated along, which is 100% true. While her picture turns black and white, Ragan has gone in another room to silently wig out some more, and Matt goes to give him a quick hug. Brendon DRs that Matt is untrustworthy, but with more words. I feel like he might be angling for Matt’s place in The Brigade, which would officially cement it as the Lunkhead Alliance.
Britney is reveling in her HOH win in the backyard and the DR. Lane is sure he’s safe. Enzo is worried. Brendon congratulates him on being runner-up. In the bathroom, Enzo is wigging out to Lane and cannot stop talking about the what-ifs. Meanwhile, Britney and Ragan are celebrating. Matt is talking about what happened with Lane and then Hayden comes in and pretends to be excited for Matt’s big move. It must be said at this point that Hayden looks homeless in his green plaid shirt and stupid hair in his eyes. Matt is very suspicious of their motives.
Britney’s HOH room is a relatively stress free affair. Matt loves a pageant picture of her from long ago (like teens; we’re not talking Toddlers & Tiaras); Both Hayden and Lane comment on the picture of Britney with her fiancé, Nick, who Hayden says reminds him of the dorky guy he used to try and cheat off of in high school (don’t be shocked). Lane is aghast that this is who he’s been compared to all summer, especially in the realm of facial hair. The show even puts their pictures side by side and, I gotta say, if we’re just talking faces, there are some definite similarities there. I don’t know if the guy is built like the “Greek God” that Brit apparently describes to everyone. Either way, I think she can do better.
Brit’s letter is from her mom and everyone is nice about listening to it. Several of them get choked up. Then we cut to Enzo talking to Matt. He’s trying to “reel him back in”. Enzo asks Matt who he’d pick if Enzo and Ragan were on the block together. Matt says his top priority is getting The Brigade to the final four, which he DRs is not necessarily true. Out in the backyard, he sits in the hammock with Ragan and Britney, all marveling that they’re still there. Britney says they need a pawn to sit next to Brendon, and Matt suggests that Enzo’s never been nominated and “needs a taste”. Well, it’s as good a reason as any, and I’m sure he’ll take it right in stride!
Clearly, we’ve reached the point in the season when the producers have run out of Sunday night filler. The following are two examples that prove this: Lane decides to really inhabit his role as “The Beast” and bench press 325 pounds. In the DR, Lane actually re-enacts the way he prepares to lift weight. In the dark, Matt, Lane and Britney are chatting and Matt admits that he dreamt about Hayden hanging out with his parents, shirtless. Britney says she had a dream with him and her family in it as well, but he did have a shirt on. Lane says that in Texas, you might have a dream like that, but you would not share it. I’m thinking Hayden permeates people’s R.E.M. sleep just by sheer volume.
Back to the game. Here comes Brendon, sucking up to Britney in the HOH. He asks point blank if she’s going back on their deal. He tries to tell her that Matt and Ragan threw her under the bus last week, which she says pisses her off if it’s true. Of course, she also adds that it’s hard to believe anything Brendon says. It’s also hard to be afraid of him “coming after” her if he stays. His only hope is winning POV, and I can’t see anyone else using it on him at this point in the game. The odds are not really in his favor. Then again, he’s a desperate man.
Lane is running out of material when he comments on Britney’s have/have not competition outfit. He goes back to the joke about finding her in a bar, punching out her boyfriend and buying her a drink. Yeah, his comedy skills are definitely limited. So, it’s a cowboy/saloon theme, and the teams are Hayden/Enzo/Brendon (Lawmen) and Ragan/Matt/Lane (Outlaws). Just based on the presence of a fake horse and a saloon, Lane figures he’s got this.
The game involves four rounds of each team drinking shots which are named for each houseguest. Two members will get something tasty and the third will get the “bad shot”. If the other team can guess which had the bad shot, they get a point. Ragan says he’s been a have not for 24 days and he’s down to his birth weight, which made me chuckle.
The Outlaws choose their first shot, the “Sassy Kathy” which is made of jalapenos, cactus and cayenne pepper. Lane is stoic, Matt whines and Ragan queens it up. They guess Matt, and are correct. Enzo explains that he’s like a “psychic with caller ID” which seems unnecessary, but it’s Enzo, so I gave up long ago.
The Lawmen pick the “Meow Meow Mix”, made from orange juice, vinegar and sardines. Their big idea is to pull a face that Enzo thinks looks cool, I guess, but really looks like Billy Crystal when he does impressions of old people. Hayden can’t pull it off and Brendon can’t really either. The Outlaws guess Brendon correctly took the bad shot.
The Outlaws settle on “Britney’s Brew”, a combination of beets and caviar. Ragan cries too much, but Enzo actually buys it! They vote for him and it was Lane who had the bad one, so they get no points.
The Lawmen choose “Rodeo Rachel” (which Ragan says should be comprised of silicone, nasty hair extensions and “weird” chin acne) which is liver, gizzards and cupcakes. They all pull the face again, but Enzo gets them to fall for it this time, and it was Brendon again, so we still have a tie.
The Outlaws pick “Saboteur Swill”, made of carrots, soy milk and limburger cheese. Ragan cries again, Matt curses and Lane remains stoic. But the dumbasses fall for it again and pick Ragan when it was Matt.
The Lawmen opt for the “Hairy Hayden”, which is clam juice and buttermilk powder. Brendon is fully committed to “the face” and looks incredibly stupid. Enzo actually took the bad shot, so he can’t hold it and the other team figures it out and claims the point.
The Outlaws select the “Ragin’ Ragan”, made of hot dogs, ketchup and ranch dressing. Ragan goes so far over the top it’s too much and the Lawmen go with Matt. But that must have been the plan, because Ragan really did have the bad one, so Enzo, Hayden and Brendon are Have Nots for the week. Enzo thinks he’ll look like Nicole Richie by the time he gets out. Hey, Enzo? 2007 called, and they’d like their pop culture reference back.
The Have Nots get broccoli and bean dip, which wouldn’t be too bad, except for the tremendous amounts of gas.
Enzo thinks Matt’s just looking out for himself right now, and he doesn’t think that’s right. Oh,
Heavens no, not in a game where only one person can win! Britney calls Lane, Enzo and Hayden up to the HOH. She asks them who people want out. Everyone agrees it’s Brendon, but they have to decide on the pawn. They immediately throw Matt under the bus and say he’s acting fishy. This is all while Enzo is wearing sunglasses inside, mind you. Brit pulls Matt into the storage room and asks if he could go up as a pawn. Matt emphatically disagrees with this idea. Well, someone’s changed their tune from early in the game, huh? But really, Brit. You have your final three, and these guys MIGHT take you to F4. Why chance it?
Brendon says his being nominated will have “dire consequences” next week. Enzo says she’d be crossing a line by putting him up as a pawn. Britney can barely carry the big key box into the living room and drops it on the table with a thud. Hayden, Ragan, Lane and Matt are safe. Brit says Enzo has never been nominated and that’s her whole rationale; Brit says Brendon was coming after her last week and she has to do what’s best for her. Brendon is like an automaton in the DR, saying her word is no longer good in the game. Burn! Enzo says he’s going to win the POV and we haven’t heard the last of him. I think that’s true regardless.
EJ will have the POV results on Wednesday, as we get into the home stretch!
