The presentation begins, and Lil Jon reads the copy with ridiculous emphasis. Kaboy talks about how well his wife and son were treated at a Trump Hotel, and we all know that this never happened. He might as well tell them that he and Mr. Snuffleupagus had a great time at the Trump Hotel pool.
I can’t do this justice, but picture this exchange being read as awkwardly as possible.
Meat Loaf: J.R.?
Kaboy: Yes, Meat?
Meat Loaf: You ever wonder what it would feel like to be Donald Trump?
Kaboy: I have wondered that, yes.
This is absolutely killing me. The ineptness of this pitch is hysterical. They’re trying to sound conversational, but they end up sounding like two people who have never previously spoken to one another. Meat Loaf relates a story about a completely fictitious stay at a Trump Hotel where an imaginary doorman remembered his last not-at-all-real visit. And it ends with the line “The Future is Trump”, and that’s actually the most terrifying thing I can envision. Imagine Trump as a brain in a jar (still with the hair, though), shouting orders at his StormTrumpers as they round up the last survivors of the Gold Wars. A band of scrappy rebels stands in opposition, but their primitive spears and blowguns can’t penetrate the golden armor of the StormTrumpers. Their only hope? The chosen ones – Anderson Cooper, Mahsa, and Eric Trump (who has been exiled from the kingdom and spent the last ten years living underground and training all manner of burrowing rodents to do his bidding).
This: “And it ends with the line “The Future is Trump”, and that’s actually the most terrifying thing I can envision. Imagine Trump as a brain in a jar (still with the hair, though), shouting orders at his StormTrumpers as they round up the last survivors of the Gold Wars. A band of scrappy rebels stands in opposition, but their primitive spears and blowguns can’t penetrate the golden armor of the StormTrumpers. Their only hope? The chosen ones – Anderson Cooper, Mahsa, and Eric Trump (who has been exiled from the kingdom and spent the last ten years living underground and training all manner of burrowing rodents to do his bidding).” is one of the funniest paragraphs ever written! Also, on a related note, does Eric Trump not have any access to lip balm? If I can tell you are need of lip moisturizers thru the TV screen, you’re in trouble!