Ivanka comes to check their progress, and now comes the scene that is both hilarious and revolting. The hilarious part comes when she shakes hands with Gene, and as soon as they break contact she jerks her hand, as if to shake off whatever cooties he’s passed on. (Dear Ivanka, will you be my best friend? Love, EJ) Then, Gene is completely condescending, and refuses to tell her about the ad, because he’s too busy. In fact, he cuts Piers off when he tries to explain it, and generally uses up more time blowing her off then it would take to say “Lennox Lewis holds a puppy.” And then, as she’s leaving, he makes her promise that she, being ‘a female of the species’ won’t share their secrets with ‘her sisters on the other team’. Wow. To her credit, Ivanka seems to find it kind of funny. I mean, he’s awful and sexist and gross, but he’s so stupid and ineffectual. I think she believes (as do I), that Gene’s genitals are so rotted out from decades of scabby groupies (none of whom wanted anything to do with him unless he was wearing the makeup) that he actually has to degrade women to substitute for his desiccated manhood. That’s disgusting behavior, and I’m glad that Ivanka seems to realize how absolutely pathetic he is. And just a word advice for the ladies out there: If you ever meet a man who uses the phrase ‘female of the species’, just know that he has a pocket full of roofies. Start macing and don’t stop until it’s dry. (Please note, either kind of mace works – the spray or the spiked steel ball on a chain.)
