Dancing with the Stars – Season 10, Performance Week 3
So let’s get to our dances!Here they are, from first to worst:
Evan Lysacek and Anna Trebunskaya (26/30) – They did really well last week and came in second.In rehearsal, Evan makes fun of Anna’s accent, and she’s ridiculously animated.In their story, they’re husband and wife, and she shows up late for something.That one should be easy to follow.They don’t mention it, but Evan broke a couple of toes this week, so he’s playing hurt.
Their dance is the Quickstep, and he starts out by himself, looking all nervous because his partner is late.He finally spots her at a fake makeup mirror and pulls her onto the stage.It’s kind of a cute bit.The story plays to Anna’s strengths, because she’s very expressive when she dances.At the beginning, they’re slightly out of step, and I think that’s an intentional part of the story.The rest of the dance is really well-done, with a lot of speed, some really animated choreography, and a cartwheel from Evan.I loved, and George Lopez in the audience agrees.
Len loved the story and says it cheered him up.Bruno appreciates that Evan dumped Anna for being late, but thinks he needs to tone up his footwork.Carrie Ann also loved it.Hooray for Evan and Anna!Brooke asks Evan about his broken toes, and he says it’s no big deal.They get a 26, which pretty much guarantees us another week of Anna.Yay!
Erin Andrews and Maksim Chmerkovskiy (23/30) – No joke, Erin got death threats last week.Between the creep and his peephole videos and now threats on her life, she has had a hard time of it lately.They don’t mention any of this, because it would seem sort of jarring.Still, like her or not, your heart has to go out to her a little.She talks about how she has to trust Maks, and he decides that he’s going to blindfold her.That’s a pretty good trust exercise, but it also seems like a good way to get hurt.There is no talk of what their story is.Is it Batman?
As their Waltz begins, they circle each other for a bit before they finally complete a hold.And then, oh man, the blindfold is part of the dance!They are waltzing and she is wearing a blindfold.And she’s doing a good job!Damn, ten seasons in and Maks finds a new gimmick!It was not the most elaborate Waltz we’ve seen, but the blindfold more than makes up for that.That was really cool!
Bruno goes to the kinky place, which you would of course expect.He thinks she’s much better in hold, and needs to learn to link her movements.Carrie Ann is really impressed with the blindfold and loved the artistry.Len says the start was really boring – he liked when they actually did a Waltz, but there just wasn’t enough Waltz in their Waltz.This sentence brought to you by the word “Waltz”.She gets a 23, which stands out from the pack this week.
Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough (23/30) – They were the high-scorers last week, with the first 10’s of the season.So now Nicole is feeling the pressure.In their story, they’re “a couple of sailors slacking off”, and they clown around on a boat.She wants to bring some vaudeville to her Quickstep, which really sounds cool.She’s really stressed out in rehearsal and is afraid of looking like an idiot.
So, they’re both dressed like sailors.I’ll be honest with you, Nicole’s uniform is not exactly regulation.I feel like I just went through puberty again.They play with their mops, and it’s really broad and silly.I’m really enjoying this because it’s a solid Quickstep, but they’re adding comedy to it.There are intentional stumbles and pratfalls, including Nicole smacking Derek in the face with her rear.They have a really nice hold at the end, and it’s such a great mix of technique and performance.Man, I really liked that one.
Len is predictably cranky, and thinks they were too clever and lost sight of the dance.He’s actually angry about it.Bruno also thinks they broke hold too much.Carrie Ann thought they broke the rules but loved watching it.The scores are weird – 8 from Carrie Ann, 6 from Len, and 9 from Bruno.It’s a 23, which is plenty good for this week, and I think they’re going to get votes because it was so darn much fun.
Jake Pavelka and Chelsie Hightower (21/30) – Last week, they were solidly in the middle of the pack.Chelsie’s got a weird story about Jake investigating a tomb and finding Cleopatra.OK, that’s awesome.If I were on this show, I would make sure that my dance’s story was about Batman.Jake is way too comfortable talking to the camera after being on reality shows forever.He walks out on Chelsie after she calls him our for not improving.He calls her “disrespectful”, but it makes him sound like he’s her dad, and it’s kind of creepy.He talks to her the way Fake Locke talks to Claire.
It’s a Quickstep, and he’s totally dressed like an archaeologist.There’s a statue of a jackal and a sarcophagus.See, if this will fly, the judges would love my Batman-themed Paso Doble.Chelsie emerges from the tomb to dance with the archaeologist, and if that wasn’t the actual video for Walk Like an Egyptian, it should have been.Except for the upfront craziness, it’s a pretty straightforward Quickstep.It’s mostly well done, but I feel like Jake is counting steps in his head and waiting for Chelsie to make her move.Not bad, but I just feel like it didn’t live up to the premise.Also, it’s Jake.
Carrie Ann says that the storytelling was good but his legs were soft.Len picks on his legs too and says they’re too bent.He liked the production but thought the dancing needed work.Bruno says the same thing but in a way that sounds crazier.Jake talks to Brooke about communication, and he totally thinks he’s still on The Bachelor.He pulls three 7’s for a 21.
Niecy Nash and Louis Van Amstel (21/30) – Last week, Len just loved her improvement.Their story is that they’re an interracial couple in the 60’s.Louis gets briefly confused as to which of them is white, which really makes me laugh.This is kind of tough on Niecy, as she thinks about how hard it would be to not be with the person that you love because of society, and Louis says he’s still in that boat.It’s kind of heartbreaking, because they’re really emotional, and this hits home for both of them.
Their dance is a Waltz, and I like the staging of it, where they notice each other across the floor and seem surprised.There’s real tenderness to this, and I’m struck by the emotion so much more than I am by the dancing.I think the dancing is quite good, but it’s just the way they’re approaching the performance that gives it so much more weight.Niecy just looks wiped out at the end.
Len is impressed that they didn’t use props and loved the emotion, but thinks she needs to work on her technique.Bruno loved the story but points out a couple of stumbles.Carrie Ann is confused by how they told the story – she didn’t get the ending.Niecy still looks wiped out – I’ve never seen her go this long without smiling or swearing.They score a 21, which Louis sort of turns into a convoluted point.You know, it’s really not a big deal, but I don’t think Louis’ sexuality has ever been alluded to one way or another, and suddenly this week he turned into a gay activist.Which, you know, bless his heart.Still, it’s kind of a weird change from him.I feel like I missed something.Regardless, I hope he and Niecy stick around for a while.
Pamela Anderson and Damian Whitewood (21/30) – She was in the bottom two last week, which is surprising but doesn’t really bother me.Apparently she cried all night about it.This week, she’s a flamenco dancer in love with a matador, though she hates what he stands for.Because Pam is an animal activist, you see.She talks about bullfighting and how awful it is.Well, I’m sure she’ll really have an impact on the bullfighting world by complaining about it on American TV.And then, holy crap, Charo swings by!I have no idea what’s happening right now.She yells a lot, and it’s awesome.
I actually like that Pam looks ridiculously angry in this dance.There’s a really sloppy twirl at the beginning where her body clearly doesn’t go where Damian thought it would.It’s a mixture of nice footwork and lengthy pauses where she doesn’t dance at all.I can’t believe how uneven it is.But because she knows how to work a room, people are going nuts.I am a sucker for a good Paso, and this just didn’t impress me.Possibly because there was no cape work.
There’s a weird cut to the dancers and stars applauding – Evan is freaking out, Nicole and Niecy are giving what could be called “polite applause”, and Ashly has her arms crossed.Pamela is very polarizing.Carrie Ann liked the anger and is impressed with her “artistry”, though this wasn’t her best.Len says it was good but she needs refinement.Bruno gushes, because that’s what he does.He also calls her a “sex bomb”, but really accents that second “b”, and then it just makes me want the Scott Pilgrim movie to hurry up and come out so I can make a “Sex Bob-omb” joke.Pamela makes a “doing it” joke to Brooke, because she can’t go five minutes without reminding us that she has a sex tape.Man, she is totally that girl who your friend dates and she seems awesome at first because she always swears and makes sex jokes, and then you realize that’s all there is to her and it just gets irritating and you have to avoid your friend until they break up.She gets yet another 21, which seems to be the score of the night.
Chad Ochocinco and Cheryl Burke (20/30)– The judges really have not liked him up to this point, but he thinks that’s warranted.Their Paso Doble will be about Chad trying to seduce Cheryl, who wants nothing to do with him.They joke about how it imitates life, which I’m hoping.Frankly, Cheryl can do better.They argue quite a bit this week, and then Chad talks to himself.
Oh Lord.The back of his matador vest says “Ochocinco”.Keep beating that gimmick into the ground.I think it’s better than he’s done up to this point, but his arms are weird again.His steps are less tentative this week – there’s a little too much walking for my tastes, but Cheryl is setting the place on fire and disguising it well.It’s easily his best dance yet, and suddenly it’s looking like he might be around for a while.
Bruno makes a Clash of the Titans reference, says he’s improved, and them makes fun of the way he moved.I love when Bruno comes unhinged.Carrie Ann likes his improvement but doesn’t like his arms.Hey, we agree!Len liked the determination, didn’t like his posture.They show solid improvement with a 20.
Aiden Turner and Edyta Sliwinska (20/30) – He was weirdly forgettable last week, and immediately after leaving the stage, he threw up into a wastebasket.But now he’s ready to rock the story dance.He’s painting the woman of his dream, who then materializes.It’s kind of like Cool World, actually.Aiden’s lovely wife and tiny little daughter come to practice to celebrate his birthday.Awwww.
They’re doing the Quickstep, and he starts out with an easel and a really primitive painting of what might be a woman.Len is so going to hate that.Edyta comes out from behind the easel and coaxes him to the dance floor.He tries to act a little too much during the dance, and while his footwork is decent, he falls into the common trap of just being a frame for Edyta.I think it would have looked better in a night where it was the only Quickstep.
Len thought it was too careful, and thinks he needs to go for it.Bruno liked him better this week, but it was a little “skippy”.Carrie Ann is impressed at his improvement but thinks he was too bubbly.You know, Brooke is getting better every week at the interviews.I will always have a soft spot for Samantha Harris, but Brooke actually did this, and she brings a lot more involvement to the questions – it doesn’t feel like they were picked at random.She has some idea of what’s going through their heads right now, and it’s really cool.Good job, Brooke!They get a solid 20.
Kate Gosselin and Tony Dovolani (15/30) – Last week, Kate turned out to be exactly the way you expect her to be and made a nation feel sorry for Tony.Also, she did not dance very well.They are doing a Paso Doble about the paparazzi, and she complains how they’re always outside her door.Well, isn’t that the trade-off?If you get to be famous despite having no discernable skills, then that’s what you deal with.I mean, I get that celebrities should get their personal space, but if you’re famous specifically because you opened up your private life to cameras, you don’t get to complain about cameras.(Also, it helps if you’re not a trainwreck – I always think of Steve Carell, who says photographers never follow him because nobody’s going to pay for a picture of him buying ice cream.)I just think there’s a certain hypocrisy there.At this point, if it weren’t for gossip magazines, nobody would give a rat’s ass about Kate, and she certainly wouldn’t be on this show, or any other, without that fuel.Tony brings in acting coach for Kate, and that’s all she needs is to be more dramatic.I mean, she cries because an acting coach is in the room!There is nothing about her that isn’t fake and entirely self-centered, and I’m tired of the fact that she gets to be on TV.
Yep, Tony is dressed as a paparazzo with a hilariously old-timey camera.Kate actually looks more distant than usual, so I think this backfired.Her footwork is really stuttery and it seems like she struggles to get into holds.She dances like she might break, and it’s really awkward to watch.It almost wasn’t a dance.
Carrie Ann calls it “odd”.Yeah, that’s the word for it.Len acknowledges that she got through the dance, but it just wasn’t very good.Bruno says that she played a character for a second, but it didn’t translate into movement.He also calls her character a “super bitch from hell”, and Tom just about loses it.She scores a 15.Yow.I still love that Len’s compliment was “Well, you got through the dance…”
Buzz Aldrin and Ashly Costa (13/30) – They got through last week because Buzz is adorable and America loves Ashly.Their story is of a hero returning home to his daughter, which is a good choice.Buzz tends to overthink his steps, which frustrates Ashly.
Buss starts out in a uniform with a duffel bag, and their song is “What a Wonderful World”, which is one of my favorite songs ever.(Because I am all soft on the inside.)Their dance is a Waltz, and it’s kind of what you expect from Buzz.It’s a wedding dance, and it’s amazing that he’s 80, but it’s never going to get really good.Ashly does a fantastic job of working around his limitations, but it’s awkward and gets worse as it goes.It’s too bad, because he seems really nice, and I adore Ashly, but this is not a long-term prospect.It’s sweet, though.
Bruno says that Buzz looks worse when he tries to move, but thinks Buzz looked regal.Carrie Ann really loved the story and sort of glosses over the dancing.Len thought it had charm but just thinks it wasn’t a good dance.Buzz makes a move like he’s going to throw a punch, which cuts the tension.They get a 13, which is about right if we’re going to be honest.
I have no idea how people are voting, but that gap between Buzz, Kate, and the rest of the pack is growing.I feel like Kate’s out, but if people really don’t like Pam, her lower score this week could get her out the door.
Myndi will bring you the shocking results tomorrow – and yes, I’ll consider them shocking no matter how it turns out.I’m very easily shocked.
