Dancing With The Stars

Dancing With the Stars: Season 9 (Nov 17)

I suppose they can refer to last night as the “biggest night of competition ever” since the couples all technically did three dances, even though the lst one was about 30 seconds long.  I’ve poured a big glass of red wine to soothe my nerves about the impending results.

As he introduces Mya and Dmitry’s salsa as the encore dance, Len is sure to mention “her tutti fruity booty” again.  Verging on creepy, there, Dancemaster.  The dance?  Is Salsariffic.

In last night’s recap, we discover that Kelly improvised her entire rhumba solo.  Also, she’s apparently over her fear of having a boob pop out.  Joanna’s cha cha outfit basically made her look like a live version of the Leg Lamp from A Christmas Story.  We see a slow motion version of Kym’s hem unraveling and getting tangled in both her heels and Donny’s feet.  It’s like the Zapruder film, only with sequins.  Backstage, their mood is downright funereal.  Let’s put everything in perspective, please.  This is DWTS;  no one has been killed.  Mya and Dmitry freak out about getting 87 out of 90 and she’s already looking ahead to next week.  Wouldn’t that be weird is she was knocked out for some reason?

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