Dancing With the Stars: Week 4 Double Elimination! (Mar 31)
We go over the rankings again, and you’ll be surprised to know Woz thinks his score was too low. Like Carrie Ann said, it’s all wearing a bit thin. No dance off, thank goodness, due to the double elimination.
First safe couple? Gilles and Cheryl, because, of course. LT and Edyta are safe, and she has the nerve to look shocked. (I don’t know. I honestly think Edyta is actually surprised whenever she’s not eliminated. Girl seems like a bit of a pessimist. – EJ) The first couple to hit the bottom three is Holly and Dmitry. Not a single boo or gasp can be heard in the ballroom. We are promised the “phenomenal” Kevin Rudolph, which, if you say so, Tom. Oh, and Boyz II Men are performing a medley. Hey, there’s only three of them. If memory serves, we are missing Mike, who has the big booming bass voice, so that’s sort of a bummer. The good news is they’re in very nice suits, and not matching ensembles from The Gap like the old days.
Kevin Rudolph has apparently hit #1 with this “genre-defying” song, “Let it Rock”. Basically, he’s every member of Blink-182 rolled into one person and this is a hard rock, guitar heavy dance song. It is actually a good song to allow the pros to bust out the leather costumes and get us ready for the paso doble next week. (I have never heard of this person. I think the show is playing a prank on me. Is he really Kenny Mayne? – EJ)
Back to poor Samantha, whom the producers seem to think sitting down will help to heal her vocal chords. (Their strange ideas on medicine help to explain the injuries for the last few seasons. Broken foot? Try leeches! – EJ) She’s got the two safe couples and then Holly and Dmitry with her. Remember back in the beginning when they didn’t ever let the pros speak? Simpler times. Holly actually wishes there was a dance-off, since she truly blew it last night.
Out front, Tom is questioning something Bruno was doing that we didn’t see. He doesn’t have time to explain and I’m slightly disappointed.
Who else is safe? Shawn and Mark, who Tom hopes will dress more appropriately next week.
We’re back from spots with a Viennese Waltz preview for next week’s dances that was choreographed by Louis Van Amstel, a pro we don’t see enough on the show. It’s three pro couples, and unless I’m losing my mind, the only pro I recognize is Jonathan Roberts. Sidenote: Some chick who snagged front row seats to this taping couldn’t be bothered to throw on more than a pair of blank pants and a red muumuu. (She’s also probably carrying some giant casual purse, too, instead of a little clutch.) Even her husband has on a sport coat over his mock turtleneck. Respect the ballroom, lady!
Next, we get a package about how much a double elmination sucks. Enlightening. The funniest thing is that Woz, who is technically the smartest guy in the room, isn’t sure of the rules of the thing. I don’t think it’s meant to be all that complex, buddy.
We find out Chuck and Julianne are safe as Gilles pulls a Christine Lahti and has to run back onstage from the potty while the lights are out. (And the Mirrorball Trophy for Obscure Reference of the Night goes to… – EJ) To the shock of no one, Steve-O and Lacey are in the bottom three.
Cheryl, Tony, Kym and Dmitry will be dancing with Boyz II Men. They’re doing a Motown medley, starting with “The Same Old Song”. Sean and Wanye are rocking the Temps dance moves while Nate sings. They continue with “I’ll Be There (Reach Out)”, and Sean takes lead while the other guys dance. They get to their own classic “End of the Road”, which I will always associate with college. (Hey, Elizabeth, remember when we saw them at King’s Island in ’92?) Wait…that’s it? Three minutes? Actually, slightly UNDER three minutes? I call shenanigans on that one.
Samantha’s gathered enough strength to stand again, and is backstage with Chuck, Jules, Lacey and Steve-O. After talking to the cute kids, she moves over to the potential losers. Steve-O says he’s not used to dealing with high pressure situations without the help of drugs and alcohol, and he seems way more serious than he is kidding. I don’t whether to be impressed, amused or depressed by that whole exchange.
Now, the judges are reflecting the competition so far. Bruno is still unbelievably bitter about Woz, and Carrie Ann seems to think Holly has some potential. They think DAG is too uptight and Ty is a great athlete. Bruno can’t believe Steve-O is nervous. And so it goes on and on.
Lil Kim and Derek are announced safe. Melissa and Tony are also safe, and act relieved, as if there was a question.
Looks like we’re finally getting down to the double elimination…oh wait…more filler! This time, it’s the stars trying to figure out how to impress the judges. Of all people, Holly is the person explaining the math to us as far as how the scoring works. This is all to explain why Woz is still here, basically. Back to couples left. Ty and Chelsie and David and Kym are safe, while Woz and Karina are bottom three. Any combination of cuts here would be acceptable.
Commercials. Saget has a new sitcom, Surviving Suburbia. It actually looks promising. Cupid, not so much. (That’s actually a pretty decent review of the pilot. Not so much. – EJ)
At long last, they can stall no more. Holly and Dmitry are out first. And…Steve and Karina are out! Yay! I was convinced it was gonna be Steve-O and we’d have to endure more goofy non-dancing. I mean, we would either way, but I’m over the big lug. Steve compliments the show, and Holly, and then gets super geeky with Karina, awkwardly gushing about wanting to dance more with her. Holly babbles something and then they all dance to..”End of the Road”, sung by the stupid house band even though the actual artists are in the building…or at least were at some point during the day.
See you back next week!
