Dancing With The Stars

Dancing With the Stars: The Finale! (May 21)

All season long, Myndi and EJ have been taking turns covering Dancing With the Stars.  Tonight they team up for coverage of the show’s bloated, 2 hour finale.  We think it featured about ten minutes of actual competitive dancing.  And an equal amount of Usher.  Please, relive last night’s glitter-soaked finale with us in all it’s sequined glory right now!
EJ:  Hey! Ready for the Finals?
Myn: I can hardly eat my pineapple!
8:58 PM EJ: Ha! Man, that will always be funny.
Myn: I really think it’s worthy of a t-shirt.
8:59 PM EJ: I hadn’t thought of that, but that may have to go on sammyshirts. I’d buy one, at least.
9:00 PM Myn: Here we go, kids!
EJ: I’m on the edge of my seat!
Doesn’t Cristian sound threatening as “the one-armed hero”?
Myn: You better get comfy…we’ve got 2 solid hours to go.
9:01 PM He sounds like something out of The Fugitive. In other news, I’m approximately 65 years old.
EJ: I’ll get off your lawn now.
9:02 PM Myn: But if your ball comes in my yard I’m keepin’ it. OK, show.
I liked the head to head concept a lot.
EJ: Yeah, that was really cool. I approve.
9:03 PM Myn: Jason says going head to head against Kristi is like going the wrong way on the highway–Ha! Jason is funny.
EJ: Who knew? He was so stiff in the early days.
Myn: Cristian and Cheryl are apparently the Wonder Twins with the fists.
9:04 PM EJ: Ha! I don’t know if you noticed Cheryl’s outfit tonight, but it’s sort of a “strip club meets The Matrix” kind of look.
Myn: Yes, she’s a vision in pleather.Cristian says it wasn’t about having one or two arms, it was about soul. That’s deep, man.
9:05 PMKristi looks miniature with the combination of her actual size and that outfit! Did Cristian just say the word “journey”? Oh no.
EJ: Yeah, he thinks he’s on The Bachelor.
9:06 PMEJ: Wow, Jason busts out a Wayne’s World reference. He’s like the coolest dork ever.
Myn: Wait–was was it?
EJ: “Not!” It’s one of the key tenets of humor, after all.
Myn: Here comes Usher–hope you love it.
9:07 PM
EJ: Is is just me or was he really bad on SNL last week?
Myn: I wouldn’t know, since I fast forwarded him.
9:08 PM EJ: He gestures a lot. His performance sort of depends on pantomime.
Myn: He does own half of the Cleveland Cavaliers though. His watch could blind people–I sat across the court from him once last season.  The one time I was in a courside seat.
9:09 PM EJ: You know, that doesn’t surprise me. The watch, not the Cavs.
Myn: He’s the Marcel Marceau of hip-hop. Did he say he wants to “make love in this club”? Isn’t that illegal?
EJ: That’s how Usher rolls!
9:10 PM Myn: Is it me or is this dance slightly reminiscent of the Chim Chiminey dance from Mary Poppins?
EJ: I didn’t make that connection on my own, but now I can’t shake it.
9:11 PM I tell you, I like everybody in the finals. Usually there’s at least one tool, but I totally want to give everybody trophies. I’m so Paula.
Myn: I am NOT Randy. I guess that makes me Simon.
9:12 PM EJ: Wow, that doesn’t fit at all. Maybe you can be Michael Kors.
Myn: I like it. “Hi guys!”
9:13 PM Oh good, irrelevant comments and speculations from past competitors. Shockingly, Drew Lacey is present. When is he not?
EJ: Did Drew have anything in his life before this show?
Myn: Just 98 degrees. And he did attend Miami of Ohio, just like me.  Ugh, go away Leeza!
9:14 PMAnd Shut up, Mark Cuban and your gold chain!
EJ: You know, Lisa Rinna looks less crazy in real life.
Myn: I have such irrational hatred for some of those people, wow.
9:15 PM OK, let’s find out who’s 2nd runner up.  If neither the winner nor the runner up can complete any of their duties during their reign, this person will have to step in.
EJ: I’m so tense. I’m going to be sad no matter what.
Myn: Poor Edyta. Her heart can’t take this.
Aw, Cristian is out!
EJ: Aww, poor Cristian!
9:16 PM I sort of hope a helicopter brings him to the hospital right now, though.
Myn: Seriously, what a cool guy. Oh, totally  agree with you.
EJ: I had never heard of him before this season, and now I really like him. This guy honestly impressed me over and over again this season.
9:17 PM   Myn: : : Bottom line, he’s going to get more work after this, which is the point, truly.
EJ: Oh, yeah. We’re going to see a lot more of him.
Myn: Aw, memory lane…sniff…
He was such a spazz in the beginning!  He didn’t stop talking.  Well, not like Penn or Adam, but you know.
EJ: Hee. That guy cracks me up.
9:18 PM He makes the craziest dance faces, too.
Myn: My guess? Also, makes crazy sex faces.
EJ: I’ve spent surprisingly little time thinking about that.
Myn: I’m glad to hear that.
9:19 PM EJ: I just want to know what kind of dance they were going to do in those insane outfits.
Myn: Cheryl is crying. Aw; Drew must be so jealous that someone has taken his spot as her favorite.
9:20 PM EJ: Oh, make them cry, then dance? That’s awkward.Myn: Um, you really never have watched American Idol, have you?Paso; that’s what I thought. So, they get to dance it anyway. Cool. This is what I like to call his “Crow” look.
EJ: Yes! The paso is probably my favorite dance because of the capes.

Myn: They kind of look like they are wearing hefty bags.

9:21 PM EJ: I only saw the episode of American Idol where they did Queen songs a couple of years ago.

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