Mystery Science Theater 3000 – “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians”
Original airdate 12/21/91
Let’s look at this in two parts: On the Satellite of Love, Joel and the ‘Bots celebrate Christmas. Tom Servo and Crow pore over Christmas catalogs, and while I can’t quite explain it, the phrase “furry little surrey” provokes uncontrollable laughter in me to this very day. At the Invention Exchange, Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank present The Wish Squisher, which turns fun gifts into boring things like socks and underwear. Joel responds with his own collection of Misfit Toys. Toaster Dolls, Road House: The Board Game, and Mr. Mashed Potato Head.
Later, the guys try to sing Crow’s new Christmas carol, “A Patrick Swayze Christmas”, based on the aforementioned Road House. “I hear that Santa Claus has been stealing from the till / I think that that right jolly old elf had best make out his will.” At the halfway point of the movie, Tom and Crow are depressed so Joel tries to cheer them up with some Christmas films, only they all turn out to be remakes (“Miracle on 34th Street – the David Hartman version.”) or stories of elderly curmudgeons.
