TV’s Moments of Joy: Free Elka!
Big Brother – It finally started to get a little awesome this week, and Ragan was a big part of that. Lord knows we’ve covered it ad nauseum in our recaps, but his smackdown of Rachel deserved a spot on this week’s list of things that made us deliriously happy. And special note goes to this week’s Power of Veto competition that introduced Zingbot 300. Yes, it is an insult comedy robot.
Why they put some guy from the crew in a robot suit and made him run the Veto competition, we will never know. All we know is that we are forever grateful, because that’s just the sort of crazy production decision that we’ve come to love. Think about it – somebody went to their boss with the idea of sending an insult comedy robot into the house. That person went to their boss, and it went all the way up to Alison Grodner, who is either brilliant or insane. Then somebody was assigned to build a Zingbot 3000 costume, and it probably had to be approved by layers of management. There may have been a committee! What I’m saying is, Zingbot 3000 had to be a team effort. People came together to produce this, and all off them can go home at night knowing that they did something that blew our minds.
Seriously, Zingbot 3000. How could that possibly be any better?
Shaq Vs. – We still refuse to be embarrassed about our love for this show. This week, he proved that he can run 30 meters faster than Tyson Gay can run 60 meters. But, you know, we probably can too. The real entertainment came from his inability to use the starting blocks and his cook-off 
with Rachael Ray. The former is self-explanatory – dude can’t figure out how starting blocks work. But the bits with Ray were pretty hilarious. And not just because of the visual joke with their height discrepancy.
with Rachael Ray. The former is self-explanatory – dude can’t figure out how starting blocks work. But the bits with Ray were pretty hilarious. And not just because of the visual joke with their height discrepancy. There was Shaq’s insistence that, as an American, he eats only American cheese. And his confusion about Rachael’s claim that she makes her own pickles. Actually, that surprised us too. Can somebody make their own? Don’t they grow on… something? We actually have a hard time picturing pickles in their natural state. Do they grow on trees? Vines maybe? We’ve never seen one come from anything but a jar. Huh.
We got off track there, but the point is that it is always funny to watch Shaq do things that are outside of his comfort zone.
Hot in Cleveland had its season finale this week and the big cliffhanger saw Betty White’s character Elka headed for the slammer. Seems her late husband was a fence for the mob and she had a storm cellar full of stolen stuff. Thankfully, you can get your Free Elka shirt right here: http://www.zazzle.com/hotincleveland And Elka got in one last zinger at Joy, her sort-of nemesis. When Joy said she’s been told by a passerby that she looked like Kate Beckinsale and she’d blurted “I love you” in response, Elka responded, “Couldn’t you have just given him a biscuit for his guide dog?”
Futurama – This week’s “Prisoner of Benda” was the kind of fun that only Futurama can present. It all started when the Professor invented a mind-switching machine, and then it got more complicated when it was discovered that two minds that were switched couldn’t be switched back, though they could be switched with a third. That’s right, the episode was built around a story problem! And yes, we were proud that we worked out the answer before the Harlem Globetrotters did.
The rampant body-switching made for an amazing, screwball episode. Everybody had their own
agendas, and the match-ups got progressively weirder, including the wash bucket transplanting its brain into Amy Wong’s body. The Professor, in Bender’s body, became a robot daredevil named “Nonchalant-o”, while Amy ate until Leela’s body blew up to parade-float proportions. And Fry and Leela slept together, which is sort of a landmark for this show. Only, they weren’t in their own bodies. It was… disturbing. And the preview for next week’s episode has us thinking that next week’s episode will be L’rrr-centric. The big guy’s the only major cast member who hasn’t appeared in the relaunch yet, so this is very exciting for us.
agendas, and the match-ups got progressively weirder, including the wash bucket transplanting its brain into Amy Wong’s body. The Professor, in Bender’s body, became a robot daredevil named “Nonchalant-o”, while Amy ate until Leela’s body blew up to parade-float proportions. And Fry and Leela slept together, which is sort of a landmark for this show. Only, they weren’t in their own bodies. It was… disturbing. And the preview for next week’s episode has us thinking that next week’s episode will be L’rrr-centric. The big guy’s the only major cast member who hasn’t appeared in the relaunch yet, so this is very exciting for us.Rescue Me — No one went on a drunken bender this week, but the saga of Janet taking Tommy back only to have his insane passion for crazy Sheila screw it up continued to perpetuate itself. Oh, and apparently young Damien lost his virginity, which I totally bought, because Damien is kind of a dork. But the actual moment of joy came when Chief Needles stood up to the FDNY and got the house re-opened. His superior didn’t want to push things and put forth no resistance when he was told the house was shut for good. But after the guys went on their own, without trucks or equipment, to save the kids inside the school for the deaf last week and managed to do so before a truck even arrived, he couldn’t sit idly by. So, he told the old guy off and threatened to take the video evidence of the department’s ineptitude to the print media and the interweb. As a result of this blackmail, the house is open again, and Sean found the cooler full of porn. Phew!
The Colbert Report – Stephen was on fire this week. Not only did he threaten to stab Brett Favre in the eye with a sharpened broom handle, but he took on Dr. Laura. On her radio show, Dr. Laura used the N-word. Six times in two minutes. It wasn’t pretty. She lost sponsors, and then claimed that her First Amendment rights were being taken away because people no longer wanted to pay her money to be on the radio. Which is a pretty loose interpretation of the Bill of Rights.
Anyway, Stephen had a sketch from his “radio show”, Colbert on the Ert, in which he insulted his callers’ ethnicity before declaring solidarity with Dr. Laura. It was a great satirical bit, and it’s always fun to see Colbert really commit to this kind of thing. Oh, and also he made (and then ate) a bacon flag. How can you not love that?
The David Hasselhoff Roast—The roast itself was a little all over the place. You can always count on Jeff Ross and Greg Giraldo to be at least somewhat funny, and they were; though I never, I 
repeat, never need to see Jeff Ross in a speedo again. George Hamilton, Jerry Springer and Hulk Hogan dutifully read what was no doubt written for them and Pam Anderson had the audacity to be offended by sex jokes at her expense. Seriously, Pam? You’re the one who barely covers your ass (or anything else) when you leave the house and has made a living by getting naked and selling a sex tape. You don’t get to act shocked. But the real breakout star of the evening was Whitney Cummings, who proved she can hang with the big boys. She took no prisoners and maybe even made some enemies, which is almost the point of a good roast. Sample line, “Pam you’ve slept with Bret Michaels, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock. Why don’t you just save yourself some time and drink a vat of Magic Johnson’s blood?” Her performance is below, and it is most definitely not safe for work! Bonus? Mad Men’s John Slattery loving it in the audience!
repeat, never need to see Jeff Ross in a speedo again. George Hamilton, Jerry Springer and Hulk Hogan dutifully read what was no doubt written for them and Pam Anderson had the audacity to be offended by sex jokes at her expense. Seriously, Pam? You’re the one who barely covers your ass (or anything else) when you leave the house and has made a living by getting naked and selling a sex tape. You don’t get to act shocked. But the real breakout star of the evening was Whitney Cummings, who proved she can hang with the big boys. She took no prisoners and maybe even made some enemies, which is almost the point of a good roast. Sample line, “Pam you’ve slept with Bret Michaels, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock. Why don’t you just save yourself some time and drink a vat of Magic Johnson’s blood?” Her performance is below, and it is most definitely not safe for work! Bonus? Mad Men’s John Slattery loving it in the audience!And that was our week. There’s no discussion question this week, and if you haven’t sent us one, you’re at least partially to blame. That’s right, we’re willing to point fingers. And let us know about your own Moments of Joy – we hate the idea that we might miss something. After all, watching things is what we do here!
