View-Do Lists

View-Do List: A Fistful of Schedule

It’s Monday morning. Have you thought about what you’ll be watching this week?  Worry not.  EJ’s on the case.

It’s another light schedule, between the traditional holiday lag and the Writer’s Strike (if you like bad news, click the link to Sunday’s strike headline).So obviously, this is an awesome time to be writing about TV for two websites. I suppose you can spend time with loved ones this week, if you get desperate.

Here’s what you’ll be watching this week:



8-8:30 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER – I already wrote this up last week, and I’m not doing it again.Isn’t it enough to make 22 jokes about “Boston Legal” ever year when I’ve never seen a single episode?


9-10 THE BIGGEST LOSER – The remaining contestants take a walk down memory lane.The point is, before they started this show, they would have had to drive a Rascal down memory lane.

10-11 BOSTON LEGAL – Alan and Denny sue the National Guard.I’m not sure they’ve really got their fingers on the pulse of America right there.

10-11 NIP/TUCK – Don’t make me say it.I beg you.I just can’t…Fine.“Sean regains his youth by exploring his relationship with Eden.”There.Are you happy? Do you feel dirty too?Doesn’t feel good, does it?


8-9 PUSHING DAISIES – An insurance adjuster is frozen solid.Also, Paul Reubens returns as a rogue scent expert, trying to figure out what’s wrong with Chuck and Digby. You guys probably think I’m making this whole series up, don’t you?

9-10 CROWNED:THE MOTHER OF ALL PAGEANTS – It’s a mother/daughter beauty pageant, stretched out over several weeks!Good think they ended “Gilmore Girls” and “Veronica Mars” to free up the schedule, huh?

9-10 KITCHEN NIGHTMARES – Season Finale!You know it’s going to be a great episode when the listing specifies that there will be a screaming match. I’ve come to think of “American Idol” as “That show that forces Gordon Ramsay off of FOX for five months.”


8-9 THE OFFICE – Repeat!It’s last year’s Benihana Christmas episode.I have the DVD’s. I will still watch it when it airs tonight.That’s how I am.

9-9:30 30 ROCK – Tracy is left out of the annual Ludachristmas party.(Yes, that’s what it says.)Also, Liz’s family comes to visit, and in the best news ever, Andy Richter plays her brother!(Unless it’s his stunt double, Rocky.)

8-9 SURVIVOR – Three living skeletons and nobody named James continue to compete for the prize.All that, and Probst too!


8-11 SURVIVOR – Season Finale!The backstabbing culminates tonight!Plenty of self-righteous questions and simmering acrimony at the reunion. This is what it’s all about. I assume James will probably simply take the prize from whatever tiny person wins it, and I look forward to being reminded that Amanda was pretty back when she could bathe and eat.

8-8:30 THE SIMPSONS – Homer forgets the last 24 hours and must try to put the pieces together to find out what happened to his family.You know, if you put any other name in the world at the beginning of that sentence, it would sound like gripping psychological drama.Put ‘Homer’ there, and it sounds hilarious!

8:30-9 KING OF THE HILL – Dale heads off on vacation to learn a new trade.Also, Khan and Bill make an Internet video with Peggy. If Bill approaches you about making a video, you should always turn him down.Hey, remember a few years back, when Peggy inadvertently starred on a foot-fetish site? For a long time, FOX had actual content up at the site named in the episode, and it was hilarious.Well, they let the domain expire, and now it’s an actual foot-fetish site. That came as an unpleasant surprise.

9-10:30 EXTRAS – Series finale!Andy finds out that being famous is not all he’d hoped for.This was a great series, but I cancelled HBO over their shabby treatment of David Milch, so I can’t watch this episode.It’s coming out on DVD in a month, so try not to talk about in front of me, OK?

Remember, no cheating off you partner’s paper.

Ever yours,

Papyrus Q. Selman

“I hate her so much.If she were a street gang, I’d go to war with her.With chains and tire irons.” – Nathan Explosion
“As my exciting story opens, I am being punched in the stomach.But I guess a lot of stories start that way.Most of mine do, anyway.” – Frank Burly

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