On to the snap-judgements. Among the competing teams are former NFL star (star?) Ken Greene and his estranged wife Tina; a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader and her actor brother; a pair of nature-loving seniors; two fraternity brothers who come to be dubbed “Team Superbad”; the treasurer for Comic-Con and his best bud; a college kid and his single mom; and a pair of blonde Southern belles.
Executive producer Bertram Van Munster (what a sensational name …he’d go for our EJ-Don racer premise) tells the AP the coming season will include a series of TAR firsts, including a mistake that keeps one team from crossing the finish line, as well as a memorable stop in Cambodia.
Their bio does indicate they think of themselves as ‘masterminds’. I don’t know what comic books they read, but no evil mastermind I’ve ever seen would be caught dead in shirts like these. (dk)
You guys, I just think there was a simple misunderstanding here. These two were looking for a Jeff Probst lookalike contest, and stumbled onto The Amazing Race instead! (mw)
Anita & Arthur: The old people. I don’t care. You read their bio. They are the old people. And I usually like the old people thrown in. I don’t like these people. How odd that I, a young person, am outraged by these hippies and their tie-die and their liberal culture. If you don’t like this country, get out. And take your gay-married-couples and universal healthcare and yer Communism with you. (dk)
I totally just saw these people at a reggae concert I attended in June. They were dancin’ and passin’ fatties around. They are so cool, man! I bet they live by the philosophy, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down.” (mw)
Terence & Sarah: “Hey, Sarah!?” “Yes, Terence.” “Do you know what the inside of my back pack smells like?” “No. What?” “A dirty butt!” (fart sound). “HA HA HA HA HA.” This guy is this chick’s gay friend, right? You know how I know? Look how he’s holding her hand. No straight couple holds hands like that. And he has many elastic bracelets. (dk)
Don’t forget the leather necklace and slim fitting tank. (mw)
Marisa & Brooke: Well, hello, Marisa and Brooke. Yes. I’m a huge fan of the show. Oh my gosh, I know. You totally got screwed with having to ride those oxen. You had the worst one. You two were totally my favorite cast members. Your hair smells terrific. Um …I’m having some people over this Saturday …nothing formal …just a party at my flat. It’d be cool if you ladies stopped by. That’d be great. Hope you can make it. Did I mention I live in a flat? Alone? That was only recently. I just broke up with my girlfriend. Yup. She cheated on me. It’s been a tough few months, but I think I’ve turned a corner. Anyhoooo …hope to see you. (chicks eat that crap up) (dk)
“I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world…” Way to debunk those dumb blonde stereotypes, ladies! (mw)
Andrew & Dan : “Team Superbad!” That’s what they’ll be called, I guess. Is that because the one guy has a ‘fro like Jonah Hill? I hope there’s more to that nickname than that. Have we had “college dudes” on Amazing Race, before? It will be awesome the first time they sleep through their alarm and miss their start time and they come running out all panicky and are, like, “Philzy! Dude! I think the power went out or something in our hotel room. Dude! Seriously. You gotta give us back some time.” And how much you want to bet that one of them heard that if your roommate dies while on Amazing Race, you automatically get a million dollars? The question is, then …who will be killing whom? (dk)
The other one in no way resembles Michael Cera, however. Maybe Bill from Freaks & Geeks, but no one else saw that show, so I’m the only one who gets that…oh, wait, Bill was the guy in Knocked Up who grew the beard and had the Asian girlfriend, if that helps. Anyway, if their genuinely funny, I’m cool with ’em. If they’re Gary & Dave 2: Electric Boogaloo, not so much. To refresh, Gary and Dave wanted to be the Drew & Kevin of season 2 way back when, but Gary just kind of looked like Woody Allen and annoyed the crap out of people. (mw)
Aja & Ty: Hey. They’re from ‘the D!.’ Sah-weet! ‘Go Blue’, and everything. I feel bad for Ty, though. He knows full well he shouldn’t have let that random hook-up from his sophomore year linger on like this. Wait’ll those ‘Superbad’ guys start giving him crap. Aja is an ‘aspiring actress’ living in Los Angeles. Be prepared to be annoyed. (dk)
Many days, I am Aja (easily upset; not an aspiring actress), which is why I shall never go on this show. I’ll Just help to insure my two buddies here never meet face to face, even if they have to be present simultaneously during the interview process. Large paper bags may be involved, as an homage to the Unknown Comic. (mw)
Toni & Dallas : Another college dude. Rock awn! Between Dallas, Ty, and the ‘Superbad’ dudes, there’s gonna be some damage done to some import ales, bruh! Solid. I won’t make fun of a team with a ‘Mom’ on it. Period. Even if that ‘Mom’ was a goth, Nazi who claims her hobby is spamming people’s email inboxes with message about male enhancement or fake diplomas. I simply won’t make fun of her. Dallas looks a little like Nick Lachey. (dk)
I agree. You can’t hate on moms and their sensible khaki capris. And any college kid who’d agree to take this trip and compete in this game with his mom is a kid I’d like to know. Hey, Dallas, how you doin’? (mw)
Nick & Starr : Call me “Starr man!” Hubba, hubba. Ahoooooooga! Beat it, Nick! Are you kidding? She was a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader and one of her faults is that she “leaps into situations without thinking about the repercussions.” I hate to keep harping on this, but we’ve already seen four college dudes are gonna be on this show. Starr is going to have to fight them off with a stick …or maybe her brother Nick’s dancing cane. I toooootally would’ve hit on her if CBS had picked EJ and I. (dk)
Ahhhh! It’s the brunette Blake and Paige, only with less frightening teeth! (mw)
Kelly & Christy : Seem nice. (dk)
Ken & Tina : He’s an “ex NFL star.” Star? I’m going to let him off the hook. Sure, he probably tells guys at the bar he played in the NFL, but I doubt he refers to himself as a ‘star.’ CBS no doubt trumped that up. The more interesting story line with this couple is that fact their marriage is on the rocks, they’ve been living apart for 9 months, and they’re hoping sleep deprivation and extreme situations can bring them closer. Good luck. If “Team Superbad” is really “Team Superbad” …one of ’em will hit that. (dk)
Why pay a licensed marriage counselor to help you work through your issues? Going on a televised game show involving international travel has produced excellent results for so many other estranged couples! (mw)
Anthony & Stephanie : Not only do we have an estranged married couple, we have a dating couple looking to win a million dollars and get engaged by the end of the show. They only recently got back together, says their bio. So, they’re “settling.” Should be fun to watch their passive-aggressiveness unfold and I’ll bet you’ll be able to see the desperate neediness in their eyes. We’ve all been to the wedding where this couple is getting married, and we all drink a toast to them, but we all tell our dates on the way home, “it’ll never last.” (dk)
Plus, she’s smooshing the poor guy’s face. This all just reeks of failure. (mw)
There you have it. You could watch the show …or you can just read our weekly recaps.
My early favorite would be Team Superbad. Young-dude teams, be they gay or otherwise, always seem to do well. They’re laid back, fight less, and always seem to have fun. I also think it could be a very amusing season because of all the young guys on the show. Amazing Race has always avoided the look-at-me, I’m-the-next-big-reality-star mentality that often plagues other shows, but a little bit of showmanship goes a long way.
My pick to be eliminated first are the old hippies. Or maybe I just want them gone. See you in the fall.
