Previously, on Big Brother: Jerry won Head of Household through what can only be an irreproducible freak occurrence. He then cut a deal with Memphis to get Dan eliminated. Memphis made Final Two deals with everybody who isn’t Renny, and then rocked the Veto. (Renny notably struggled with identifying who in the house was a wrinkly bald man.) Memphis, nervous about putting too much faith in Dan, with his history of weird-ass decisions, put it on the line to veto his former renegade. That left Renny and Keesha on the block, and Jerry quietly seething. Or as quietly as he can seethe, at any rate. Only time will tell if he compares Memphis to one of any number of famous traitors like Judas (a favorite), Benedict Arnold, or Starscream.
It’s Julie Chen and America’s most easily entertained studio audience. She tells us either Renny or Keesha is going home tonight. She does not add, “but definitely Renny”, but you can tell she wants to. And then she kicks us straight to taped material. (Um, what was with her outfit? Is she going on safari?–Myndi)
Keesha is very upset to be up against Renny, but Renny has her usual air of vague annoyance. Which, I suppose, is better than her other possible mood. You know, the one where she shrieks.
Jerry tells the Diary Room that “betrayal should not go unpunished”. Uh-oh, Jerry’s going to go vigilante on us. Dan is ebullient about being taken off the block. Memphis seems cautious, both because Jerry is going to flip out on him, and because he’s put a lot of faith in Dan. And Dan, bless his heart, is one weird cat.
As Memphis is brushing his teeth, Jerry ambles into the bathroom. Memphis blows him off, and then Jerry asks Keesha to come talk to him. Jerry complains to Keesha that Memphis didn’t stick to the plan. He wants Keesha to stay, and tries to interest her in a Final Two deal. Personally, I think Keesha will win in Jury votes against any of the final five. Only April and maybe Ollie would vote against her, depending on who she’s up against. Anyway, Jerry’s plan is to break up Dan and Memphis, which will be hard given that they’re the two deciding who goes home this week. He then uncorks the “Memphis has a deal with everybody” argument, which seems to surprise Keesha, though it really shouldn’t.
Keesha and Renny discuss whether Dan and Memphis have a deal, as we see footage of the Renegades looking at a grill and totally having man crushes on one another. Then Jerry asks Dan why Memphis is keeping him around. He tries to sow dissent by saying that Memphis knows he can beat him in the Final Two, which is probably right, but not a given. Anyway, Dan tunes him out and then Jerry demands that Dan agree to take him to the Final Three. Interesting approach. But, and I’m sure I’ll mention this next week, the Final Three are largely determined by who wins the final Power of Veto. A Final Three deal is hard to make. Head of Household doesn’t determine the final three this week, it’s the Veto holder who ensures themselves a position and chooses another person. They’re really overthinking nominations that have no actual meaning.
I’m not sure why Jerry thinks he can win Dan over after treating him like crap for so long. Hilariously, Dan just keeps vaguely agreeing, rather than actually saying anything or making eye contact. You know, exactly like when Jerry demanded that he vote to keep Jessie. Keesha and Dan then gather in the pantry to talk about Jerry. Then Memphis comes in, and they all agree that Jerry is crazy, but sort of right.
Renny and Keesha talk about how they’ve grown during the game. Renny openly weeps while exhorting Keesha to “be a lover” (see, I heard, “be a mother”–Myndi), and then Keesha cries, too. I kind of wish we’d seen more of the two of them together this season, because it might have made me like Renny. Well, let’s not get crazy.
Julie asks us whether there’s more to Memphis than meets the eye. In a way, I suspect not. However, he’s never been HoH, and I think he’s only been on the block for an Eviction episode once, and she would hate to see a perfectly good clip package go to waste.
We see Dan and Memphis talking about their girlfriends, while Memphis decides he should be a better boyfriend. We see Memphis’ friends watching the show and girlfriend Ashley tells us he wasn’t the perfect boyfriend when they met. There’s an adorable picture of young Memphis in a policeman’s hat. In a night-vision scene, Memphis tells somebody that his Dad slept around, and that’s why he freaked out over Jerry’s “womanizer” comment early this season. Well, that kind of makes sense. Plus, now Memphis and I have something in common: our slutty Dads. BFF!
Memphis’ friend Matt, who wears a stupid hat, assures us that Memphis is committed to Ashley. Ashley hopes he’ll be husband material “one day”, and also that he wins. Well, I would hope so. It would be weird if she were rooting for Dan at this point.
Back to the Chenbot and houseguests! Julie shows them the footage of Jerry falling in the pool while trying to read skywriting, which is pretty funny. Almost everybody laughs, but Keesha and her boobs actually seem kind of horrified. Julie asks if he’s doing all right, and he assures us that he’s fine.
Julie wishes Dan congratulations on his 25th birthday. Sigh. I’m so old. Julie asks why Dan likes to tease Renny, and Dan says she reminds him of his mother. Awww. Renny enjoys his “antics”. Sounds like he’s a cartoon squirrel. Julie then promises to show us the Jury House, where I imagine Libra has locked herself in the bathroom for two weeks just to avoid spending time with those people.
But before we get to see the craziness, it’s Jerry’s HoH Interview. Jerry is actually kind of funny, and once again, I’m reminded of the days before he was mean. He says he’d like to go to the Final Two with Keesha. He says he has to win a PoV and an HoH, apparently not realizing that tonight is the last HoH, and he’s not eligible to compete. That’ll trash his strategy.
It’s Jury House time! We see Libra enjoying having the house to herself. She says she hopes April shows up, because she doesn’t want her to win. And yes, Libra has a good laugh when April Sapien enters the House. April assures us that she’s still a “big part of the game”. Aww, that’s cute. She says voting is more pressure than being in the game. Only, you know, without the possibility of reward.
And then, one week later, Libra and April are putting out cheese and crackers for the next houseguest. Libra predicts it’ll be Michelle. April hopes it’s Keesha, and further, that Keesha will be forced to sleep outside. You know, April is totally a Mean Girl, only she’s weird-looking, dumb, and unpopular. She will never make fetch happen.
Michelle enters the house and complains immediately about being “backdoored”. (Hee!) Libra seems pretty happy about this turn of events. Michelle recaps things we’ve already seen, and then shows her eviction DVD. By the way, once the DVD starts, Unfrozen Caveman Michelle announces that she looks good on camera. Holy crap. What must she look like in real life, then?
April makes catty remarks about Keesha gaining weight, because, you know, she’s enormous. Michelle joins in, and they giggle when Keesha is eliminated from the HoH challenge. Yes, they have a good laugh at the person who, at that point, had gotten the both of them eliminated. April feels sorry for Keesha because “she has to live with herself”. You know, Keesha really hasn’t done or said anything to be embarrassed about. For the most part, she’s been delightful. Man, I hate April.
April cries about how she misses Ollie, and then Michelle recaps the challenge to April while they’re watching the challenge. We see Dan’s crazy-ass “Replacement Nominee Roulette”, which scandalizes April and delights Libra. If those two had been in the house, he really would have seen the fireworks he kept talking about. April and Michelle explain why they are better people than Dan. Michelle says she wants “to do physical harm to him”. I can’t decide whether she’s prone to hyperbole or just awful. Maybe both!
Ollie shows up, and Michelle and April are happy to see him. Libra is also happy, but for a completely different reason. April and her giant prostitute earrings tell Ollie she wants to be his girlfriend, and Ollie seems certain that he’ll have her for the rest of his life. Well, a stain on the soul doesn’t wash off easily, I guess.
Julie returns to talk to the nominees. Renny tells the house that she’s a fighter and a “survivor of unimaginable grief”. Considering the hysterics she went into when a picture reminded her that her parents were still dead, I think she may be overstating it a little. She then talks about a “journey”, because this is suddenly The Bachelor. Keesha tells Renny how much she loves her, congratulates everybody, and wishes them luck. With that, it’s voting time.
Memphis votes to evict Renny. Dan forgets to toss a “Miss Julie” in as he also votes to evict Renny. Well, that was easy. Julie evicts Renny, who hugs everybody on her way out. That makes this the first eviction in weeks where at least one person didn’t behave like a dick. Come on Renny, can’t you lob an insult or snub somebody?
The live audience is very happy to see Renny. As much as she irritates me, I think she’s basically nice, so I’m glad she’s getting a nice moment here. Just don’t yell anymore, lady.
In the Chenterview, Julie asks Renny why she was evicted. Renny says it’s because nobody voted to save her. Can’t argue with that. In the messages, Dan is sweet and funny. “You took care of everybody whether you like them or not, including Jerry.” Jerry will miss her cooking. She makes a strange gesture as Memphis’ video starts, and I can’t tell what it means, but it seems she’s making fun of either Jerry or Memphis, and I don’t know what’s going on. The studio audience is tickled, though. Keesha tears up, and it’s clear that the two of them really did have a friendship. That’s sweet, actually.
Renny holds back tears and keeps talking about her journey. Julie dismisses her and says she’ll be back for the finale in less than two weeks. Wow, we’re almost done with the season, aren’t we? I feel like I can measure my life in Big Brother seasons, and I think that might be the saddest thing ever.
Julie takes us back to the Houseguests, still gathered in the living room. Apparently, there were pictures from past competitions on the Memory wall all day, and now she’s going to show them one last time. One of those pictures shows Boogie’s giant pit stains, by the way.
After reviewing the footage, Julie sends them to the backyard and tries to go to commercial, but her mic goes out and we linger on the Houseguests for too long. I was kind of hoping for an out-of-place shot of last season’s guinea pigs, just for the nostalgia. Ah, Big Brother, what would you be without technical difficulties?
So, the three competitors are set up on sort of a round stage that’s separated into three sections. Each houseguest has sections labeled “True” and “False” on their stage. Julie will ask questions about the pictures, and they step into the appropriate answer. Most points wins.
I won’t rehash the questions, because you don’t care. Suffice it to say, they’re really picky questions about the competition pictures we just saw. It’s notable that Keesha pretty well screws the pooch on this one only getting two out of seven. Dan gets all seven right and wins the Head of Household! Boy, Dan’s on a pretty good winning streak.
And this is pure magic. Julie tells us that “something is waiting for the houseguests in the living room”. That “something” is a fat Asian man clad only in black briefs. Wouldn’t it be great if there was no point to that and it was just a weird visual joke?
Sadly, our Sumo visitor has the clue to an upcoming luxury competition, and is not just there to freak them out. (Isn’t it a little late in the season for a luxury competition?) The houseguests take it pretty well, with Dan excitedly proclaiming that “We were just talking about Sumo wrestlers!” Hee. The wrestler speaks, and the captions tell us he’s saying “I am sitting on the information you need”, but it doesn’t sound like he’s speaking Japanese. If he is, he doesn’t actually know the language, and he’s speaking phonetically. It sounds to me more like he’s saying it backwards, but I don’t know for sure. The episode ends with everybody staring awkwardly at the now-silent wrestler. If I ran a network, shows would end that way more often.
All right, I’ll be back Wednesday to cover the final Veto and another live eviction! And most likely, a further helping of Sumo-themed hilarity. Until we meet again, remember how important it is to be a lover. Apparently, very.
