We then hear Jerry telling Angie and Libra about his wife’s Parkinsons and how he won’t put her in a nursing home and he’s her primary caretaker. Hmmm, bummer that you won’t be home for three months then, Jer. Obviously, he’s made arrangements, but it still seems a little odd to go away like this under the circumstances. Libra would be the one to get it, however.
In another segment of Growing and Learning through Reality TV, Dan is getting to know Steven, his First Gay. It’s actually sort of OK, because Dan doesn’t say anything stupid or completely naive to either Steven or the camera in the DR. His mind may actually be opening. And if he would stop yelling at me, perhaps we could get a drink when he comes back to Motown.
Jessie dresses down Angie for daring to try to get Brian to stay, and still somehow manages to make the whole thing about his muscles. Angie gets major points from me for not bursting out into hysterical laughter. This kid is like Ben Stiller’s character in Dodgeball…I’m officially waiting for him to say something like “Nobody makes me bleed my own blood!”
In the always riveting food competition, there is much running back and forth and fake wine and Jessie speaking in the worst fake accent (this one’s supposed to be French) since Justin Chambers tried to convince me he was Italian in the Wedding Planner (oh, you’ve seen it 50 times on TNT, too!) Ollie seems to be serious when he says he was worried that if he drank any of the wine (which, again, I have to imagine was actually grape juice) he might become an alcoholic. Yes, that’s EXACTLY how it works, Ollie. The other notable thing is April and Libra openly whining about having the two old people on their team. “That’s not fair!” Instigators, those two. And, in the end, the oldsters did just fine, really, but April was awful and their team ends up on slop, with this being the second consecutive week for Libra, April and Keesha.
A short segment lets us in on the fact that Memphis is unemotional, perhaps due to his rocky relationship with his dad, which was cut short because he died when Memphis was 15, and/or a very hard breakup. I guess the editors want me to like Memphis. Only if they work some awesome mustache promotion with the good folks at Swingtown. (But isn’t it great how his occupation is shown in quotes, while others are not? That kills me!)
Dan tries to sweet talk Jessie by throwing out Jessie’s favorite word, “Respect”. Though it seems to click, Dan is still nominated alongside Steven, whom Jessie actually says he nominated for not coming to see his room. He is 12.
At the start of Tuesday’s show, we are promised a good old fashioned throwdown between Libra and the Metamucil brigade. Awesome! First, we learn that Steven’s feelings were hurt, basically because being nominated means to him that the other hamsters don’t like him. It’s OK, Steve. I really don’t think you want to lose sleep over making lifelong friends with these people. In the DR, Jessie is yammering on about winning “every” competition so far and “supposedly” being the youngest by three years. Um, well, the age thing is kind of an absolute, there, babe. Winning “every” competition so far, though? You won a POV and an HOH (which, sorry, was a crap shoot) that a bunch of people probably threw. This guy’s making me want to hurt him. I’m hoping he goes down in a major way very soon.
He is evidently BFFs in the house with Michelle, who we see giving him a pedicure of some sort. There goes any chance of me liking Michelle. Suddenly, we see Jessie with Memphis (wearing a straw hat), discussing a four person alliance with Michelle and Angie, who we find out he thinks of a strong mental and physical competitor. I haven’t minded Angie thus far, so I’m reserving judgement on all of this. She kind of has to agree, since she would be in the minority otherwise.
Turns out both Steven and Renny survived Hurricane Katrina. This should probably be more interesting than it is. We then find out that Keesha wants desperately
to play POV to save Steven. What luck for him then that he actually picks her ball out of the bag when they all gather to select players for the POV! Jerry is selected as host, a job he feels suited for, though he admit to having a shoddy voice. Even before the game begins, Keesha stupidly tells April, Libra and Michelle how much she’d like Steven to stay, making herself a target. Once the game starts, I can’t help but notice Jerry is vocally similar to one Hulk Hogan. I keep hoping he calls someone “brother”. Incidentally, the game is called “License to Veto”, which has to be an homage to the Coreys, right?
The goal is to spell out Big Brother words like “Head of Household” and “Eviction” through the use of fake vanity plates. Once you get the correct combination, you buzz in and the curtain goes down, forcing you to memorize which states go with with the words. Dan throws the comp, in his ongoing plan to look like a giant loser. No really, he said he wanted to look weak. Jessie, who should have just stood there, biffs it next. Keesha gets the first puzzle at last. Next go-round, Steven tries and fails, but Michelle gets the points. The next round’s prize is a slop pass, which becomes a showdown between Libra and Keesha. The catch is that you forfeit POV if you take the pass. Libra makes this big show of taking one for the team by not taking it, which seems unnecessary. Keesha stays quiet. On the final round,s he biffs the puzzle and Michelle nails it, winning POV.
In the aftermath, we see an actual lightbulb go on in Jessie’s pea brain, as he figures out that Keesha was playing hard for Steven’s sake. Yes, Jessie, good catch. Especially since Michelle already told you about what Keesha said prior to the POV. For her part, Keesha is commiserating with Renny. Any port in a storm, I guess. Renny DRs that she loves to stir the pot and watch people argue, as it takes the target off her. Dammit, I cannot disagree with her.
Keesha is compelled to argue her point to most of the majority alliance that wining the POV and not using it was part of her plan to prove herself to them. Big Brother is like being in a gang! This concept flies surprisingly well, but I think it’s mostly the ass-kissing part that does the trick. She keeps workin’ it, sewing seeds with Jessie and Memphis that Libra is a troublemaker, even going so far as to mention backdooring her…maybe even this week! The campaign continues, as she pushes Jerry’s buttons by sitting down with he and Renny to tell them about the “old people” cracks before the food comp. It works like a charm. They’re both angry, but Jerry feels compelled to find Libra, who is still asleep, and read her the riot act. She goes NUTS, screaming at him that she did not say they got the “slow old people” as Jerry says, but that perhaps next time, it would be more fair to “balance it”. Oh, well then, never mind. Renny listens from elsewhere, until she herself is confronted my crazy Libra, making the same argument. She knows she’s busted, so she’s freaking. Also, she has five month olds, and I can say from experience that her hormones are probably still way out of whack.
Steven has gotten an audience with Don Jessie to ask him to put up Libra in light of all that’s going down. Jessie insists he bring Michelle in, as it’s her POV to use. Steven tries to sell Michelle on a “hero” angle, saying she’ll get out the drama. He even offers to stay on the block with Libra, so sure he is that this tack would work. He might as well go for it, huh? Michelle appears to consider this.
At the Veto meeting, both Dan and Steve grovel,–Dan actually acquits himself pretty well–but nothin’ doin’. In the DR, Steven promises (threatens?) to push these people’s faces in the toilet” to get their votes. I’m sure that will work, Steve!
Strangely, we heard zip from either Ollie or April in this episode. I have it on good authortiy that they were otherwise occupied. Join EJ tomorrow for all the Live Eviction fun!
