Previously on Big Brother 10: Well, all that stuff you’ve read about already. They don’t pull any revisionist history on this time, either. They promise us that there’s an explosive confrontation tonight, and that’s pretty much what we’re watching for. Bring it on!
We open with a flashback to the nomination ceremony, where Angie and Jessie are nominated. Man, I could watch Jessie get nominated all day. As always, people hug. Angie assures us that she’s not giving up. Jessie is expressing what looks sort of like surprise, but also sounding angry. He’s also been wearing a red hoodie that makes me think of TV’s Tim Stack. In the Diary Room, Memphis tells us Keesha made a mistake, while wearing a dopey hat. Why do people bring such a wide variety of hats when they go on this show?
April Sapien and Libra reassure Keesha that she did a good job. Jessie and Michelle blame Libra for the mess, which will be news to Libra. Jessie then does my favorite dopey Houseguest thing, which is to announce a plan that hinges on winning POV and then HoH. OK, then. I guess you’re covered since you’ve decided to win two consecutive competitions that may not play to your strengths or may have a huge element of chance involved. I guess you’re all set, then.
In the HoH bedroom, various people praise Keesha for her courage. She’s kind of the Rosa Parks of nominating people. Keesha would prefer that Angie leave, which means there are certain issues on which she and I will never agree.
Jerry and Dan talk strategy outside. Jerry considers Memphis to be a threat. Awesomely, Jerry says that Memphis is a bartender (Not a “Mixologist”? Are you sure?), and at his age he should have started a career by now. Hee. He also calls Memphis a womanizer. Yeah, even though we haven’t really seen that in the house, it certainly doesn’t seem wrong.
Jessie visits the HoH bedroom to assure Keesha that there are no hard feelings, and also to pose. He keeps revisiting the idea that Libra is manipulating everybody, including controlling his nominations last week. I seem to remember Libra spent most of last week screaming at the elderly, and was in no shape to manipulate anybody. Jessie is very animated in discussing this point. Libra and April try to interrupt, but Jessie shows them the door. Seriously, Jessie is freaking out about Libra. She may actually be Keyser Soze. The greatest trick Libra ever pulled was convincing the House she didn’t exist.
Once Jessie leaves, Libra and April enter the HoH room. Keesha does not reveal the gist of Jessie’s diatribe. Meanwhile, Jessie hugs April because he is so happy that he might possibly have convinced somebody to nominate another person, pending the results of the POV competition. Dan might want to let Jessie join his Low Expectations Society.
Holy crap. The ad for the BB10 online content features Renny in a pink wig shouting “That’s what I’m talking about.” That’s something you can’t unsee.
Time to pick players for the Veto Competition. Jessie tells us that “there’s nobody I feel threatened, physically or mentally, with.” Ha! And it’s that pause before he blows the preposition that makes it so perfect. It’s like he was going to get out without looking like a dope, and then he decides to keep his record intact
They pick names from the bag. Keesha picks Libra, Angie picks Ollie, and Jessie picks Memphis. Not a lot of people there who will take Jessie off the block, I think. Keesha picks Dan as the guy who will explain the game in an incredibly stilted reading that will have to be looped later. Only she calls it the “host”. Dan’s just so happy that somebody said his name.
In the backyard, the participants are wearing green leotards and flower headpieces. Jessie is an especially angry flower. He reminds us that he didn’t come here to make friends, which makes this the third episode of every season of America’s Next Top Model. He’s proven everything that’s “toe to head” of him. I don’t know what this guy’s talking about half the time. The other half, he makes me sad.
Farmer Dan (wouldn’t it have been awesome if it was Farmer Ted, though?–Myndi) explains that each contestant will lay down in a flowerbed, whereupon they will be watered. The twist is that they have to remain in the flowerbed for exactly one hour. The person who’s the closest to one hour without going over is the winner. OK, dopiness aside, that’s a pretty cool challenge. I haven’t seen one like that before, and it really does level the playing field. Let’s see what happens!
Everybody lays down, and the non-participants dump dirt on them. A small but steady stream of water pours on each of their foreheads. I think that’s actually Chinese Water Torture, so somebody’s going to go crazy or die or something. Memphis is just counting the seconds, which is pretty good strategy.
At the 18 minute mark, Farmer Dan announces that they’re going to add either compost or earthworms to the flowerbeds. Jerry’s excited about the worms. Oh, Jerry. For comedy purposes, you can’t go wrong with poo. They dump in the worms, which doesn’t seem like a huge deal, really. It’s not like they’re on your face or anything. Ollie wonders what compost is. Hee. Wait, then Ollie says anything without legs is “cursed”, and he doesn’t want anything to do with it. Taking the book of Genesis a little too literally there, Ollie? This of course, means that in Ollie’s view, Heather Mills is only half cursed. As are most pirates.
Ollie says he’s terrified. Does he think the worms will eat his soul? Keesha finally freaks out about worms, and gets out at the 22 minute mark. Libra says she and Ollie were carrying the weight of the alliance. Clearly Libra is unaware that the worms are waging a pitched battle for Ollie’s eternal soul, and hence, he’s not exactly focused right now.
Jessie starts taunting Libra, asking if she remembers coming up to the HoH room and asking him to put up Steven. Libra also remembers that she was in a group of eight people who did just that. Which, you know, is a good point.
At 44 minutes, they add the compost, which really does look nasty. Plus, it’s been festering in the sun for a good long while. Libra talks about getting up and having Ollie wait a few more minutes. Libra gets up, and Jessie gets up a few seconds later. So he’s applying Price is Right logic to the POV. Then Jessie and Libra argue about why Steven went home. (Hint: Because nobody voted to keep him.)
After an indeterminate amount of time, Angie, Ollie, and Memphis leave in quick succession. And now, it’s time for the results. In a legitimately surprising conclusion, Keesha wins because everybody else went over 60 minutes! OK, I liked that challenge a lot. Apparently, everybody else went over by at least 15 minutes. I think this would have been hard for me, because I tend to measure time in TV shows.
In the bathroom, Michelle tells Angie and Jessie that it’s time to get crazy. Michelle dances with pigs in bridal gowns, so when she says crazy, she means it!
Angie visits the HoH room to make nice. She says that the two of them have a connection, since they were both close to Steven. Is it just me, or is Steven way more important since he left the house? Angie tells Keesha she should use the POV on Jessie, because Angie can’t live another week with Libra. And then Angie cries. She is so full of crap that my screen is turning brown.
Keesha discusses strategy with April Sapien, which is sort of like discussing The Hills with Jerry. They convince themselves that the target on Libra’s back means they might be better off getting rid of her. I would think you’d take out the people who aren’t in your alliance, while leaving that target there to buy yourself some space when those people have control. But what do I know? Ollie shows up, because he disintegrates if he gets too far from April at any given time. At first, Ollie is pro-Libra, but he quickly restates his opinion to match April’s. They’re really being stupid here, I think.
Jessie visits Keesha – he wants her to use the POV on him. He goes back into bully mode, telling her how stupid she is to not nominate Libra. That worked well for him last time, after all. He goes off on this extended diatribe about how he’s in “jail”. Dude, Jessie would love jail. Nothing to do but lift weights.
The announcer tells us that they’re bringing back “America’s Player”, like BB8, only this time, we get to choose who it is. And then if they accept the responsibility, they do America’s bidding for a week. I liked that twist the first time, but I don’t think it’ll work again. Especially over a single week, with somebody chosen by the viewers. How many of these people would you count on not to blow it? Hell, Renny would announce it before she made it all the way out of the Diary Room. I think I’ll vote for Ollie, though, because I feel like we’re capable of better decisions than he is.
Jessie is angry that Keesha won’t nominate Libra, and Keesha makes fun of him for coming up to the HoH room every ten minutes. On cue, Jessie shows up and starts yelling at her again, this time in front of April, Renny, and Dan. He quickly goes crazy, and at one point refers to himself with a feminine pronoun. Keesha vents to Libra and Jerry and decides to announce to everybody that she’s not going to nominate Libra, because she gave her word. So, she makes the rounds, making this announcement to a bunch of people who aren’t Jessie. She finally finds him, right outside the HoH bedroom. Everybody kind of shuns Jessie, which is awesome.
Later, a plane with a banner flies over the yard. Man, people have been putting time and money into that since Season One, and it always makes me laugh. Now, when a plane is spotted, they’re put on “lockdown” until the plane is gone. Just like on Oz, except with a small plane instead of a sharpened toothbrush. Several houseguests try to act like they know what it said, something about Libra being a liar, from Steven. Well, if you can’t believe what somebody tells you about a banner that they might or might not have seen, what can you believe? Memphis is particularly passionate about this, an he seems half-convinced that he actually saw this banner.
Memphis starts lecturing everybody, and says that the only one he wants out is Jerry. So, you know, this ought to go well. Jerry says Memphis was disrespectful, Memphis says Jerry called him a womanizer, Jerry says it’s because he is, and it, my friends, is on! Ollie is actually holding Memphis back. Memphis is screaming, and Jerry can’t even be bothered to take his hands out from behind his head. Dude, Jerry fought in Korea. Think he’s worried about some bartender with a fauxhawk?
And now, it’s time for the Veto Ceremony! Keesha explains to us that her mind is made up, and nobody puts Keesha in a corner. Angie is still hopeful that Keesha will take her off and put Libra up. Apparently, Angie spent this episode watching I Survived a Japanese Game Show. Jessie explains to us that Keesha is stupid for nominating him. And with that, the meeting begins. Angie gets first crack at begging, and she doesn’t say anything particularly hilarious. Let’s hope Jessie can turn that around. Well, he leads with reminding us that his parents think he’s a good person, and closes with simultaneously throwing everybody under the bus while they throw him under what must be a different bus. Thanks Jessie! He alludes to being in jail one more time, and minds everywhere boggle.
Keesha, to the surprise of only the nominees, does not use the Power of Veto, and adjourns the meeting. Libra is happy with how it turned out, saying that she “shucked and jived”. Um. Didn’t some FOX News anchor catch heat for saying that about Barack Obama, since it’s an old-timey racist phrase? Just saying. Angie says her best hope is that Jessie blows up in the next couple of days. And, well, that’s pretty likely. Jessie tells us that the biggest mistake they can make is not voting him out. Check it out – Jessie and I agree on something!
This week, Elimination Night moves to its traditional Thursday spot, so join Myndi as she chronicles somebody’s final days, and probably some awkward questions from Julie about whether or not Memphis and Jerry are friends again. (Probable answer: No.)
