Big Brother 11: Nominations, Week 6
With Big Brother, the season is going on as we watch.Sure, they’re distilling a week into three hours, but most of the footage is available on the web for anybody with free time.Anyway, they don’t know if somebody’s going to lose it or turn out to be a rat-bastard, and they can’t run the risk of giving a sympathetic edit to somebody who’s going to try to stab another houseguest later.It’s in their best interest to present as accurate a picture as they can in the time they have if they’re going to create anything resembling a cohesive season.I also think it’s interesting that most of the houseguests assumed Jeff had the power.Could that be because he’s likeable and doesn’t do rotten stuff that would make him look bad on TV?Seems reasonable.But let’s jump into the episode and let Kevin get on with being hilarious.
As a Big Brother nerd, this is interesting to me – we see living room footage from Thursday night, with Chima and Jeff arguing while the voting is going on.Hey, did you know Thursday’s episode wasn’t actually live, since producers were afraid of what Chima would do or say after the Coup?I don’t think they’ve ever had to do that before, and they’ve had some nutbars in that house.
Anyway, Chima and Natalie chew Jeff out for using the power.Natalie claims he broke his word, and Chima says he’s disloyal, and he “made a deal with the devil”.Jeff reminds everybody that the devil is not involved, and he is trying to win a game show.Jessie, to his credit, keeps saying that it was the right move for Jeff to make.Really, I think Jessie would have made it to the finals with no problem at all.After this, we see Natalie openly weeping because “this game rewards the ugly and the bad”.Then Chima is crying in the Diary Room, and I am not kidding around, compares Jessie leaving a TV show to “a family member dying”.Wow.I have to assume that nobody Chima cares about has ever died, because that’s an awful thing to say.Kevin assures us that “Jessie is exactly what America thinks he is”.Hee.
After the eviction, Lydia is sobbing.You know, the person who was most likely to get sent home instead.She tells the Diary Room “Jessie didn’t get in my head – he got in my heart.”And other places, as the Live Feed audience knows.Chima says that Jeff lied when he told her he would vote Russell out, but Jeff reminds her that he didn’t actually get to vote this week.Loophole!This also leads to Chima, purportedly a professional writer, using “semantics” as a verb.You guys, she’s not a writer.
We see Michele wining HoH, and she’s so damn happy.Russell admits to being nervous, because of their arguments.Kevin can’t even imagine what’s going on in her head.And Jeff acknowledges that while they didn’t “pinky swear”, he doesn’t think Michele will nominate him.
In the kitchen, Jeff, Russell, Michele, and Jordan chat.Michele is impressed that Jeff used the power, and Russell declares that he made the right move.Jeff makes the point that it’s hard to feel sorry for them, when his own group has watched their friends go home this whole time.
Later, Chima and Natalie are talking about how Michele’s going to nominate them.Chima can’t believe that Michele is OK with Russell after their argument.Huh – could it be that some people don’t hold on to every little blowup for all eternity and reduce people to that one bad interaction?Why, that’s crazy talk!Kevin tries to talk Natalie into playing it cool and not telling Michele what to do.Yeah, that’ll work.
Time to see Michele’s HoH room!Aww, she has adorable puppies!There are stuffed rats in her gift basket, and Jeff thinks it’s funny that everybody is trying to pretend they love rats now.Michele opens her letter, and as always happens, I wonder what would be in my letter were I to be Head of Household.I would assume that whoever wrote it would spend most of the time catching me up on the TV that I’m missing.Anyway, it seems to be a very nice letter from her husband, and she’s clearly very touched.Awww.I like it when nice people have happy lives.
Outside, Russell promises that if he and Jeff are nominated and he (Russell) wins the Veto, he’ll take Jeff off the block.That’s a ridiculously specific set of circumstances, but Russell’s good at keeping his word, so I could see him doing that.Jeff doesn’t want to get paranoid, since neither of them is actually nominated yet.
Russell and Michele talk in the HoH Room.You’re not going to believe this, but they talk about their differences like grownups, and they each make their point and come away with a better understanding of one another.When has that ever happened on this show?In the Diary Room, Michele acknowledges that she has to keep an eye on him, which is still wise.Inside, Jessie’s girls (and Kevin) get a bottle of wine that belonged to Jessie and toast him.Lydia claims “we only got a taste of you”.And again – Live Feeds.Kevin’s heart totally isn’t it, and that’s just going to keep getting funnier.
Outside, Jeff, Jordan and Russell make fun of them.“Dude, the guy’s alive” says Jeff.Ha!Inside, Chima says “Jeff and Russell in the final two would be the worst thing ever”.Really?Ever?I’m not bringing it up again, but I saw last Sunday’s show, Chima.As the woman start to weep, the Big Brother producers oblige us with hilariously over the top sad violin music.Kevin is sitting there listening to this line of crap, and his left eye is twitching uncontrollably.He’s not even trying to hide his disgust.Chima says that “he never said anything bad about anybody”, except for those times he did.Kevin looks like he wants to drive an icepick into his brain rather than keep listening.He reminds us that Jessie nominated Chima, voted to evict Lydia, and got mad at Kevin for voting to keep Natalie.Lydia sobs that “prayed for all of us all the time”.Kevin is trying to set the three of them on fire with his gaze.Next, Lydia cries because “Jordan doesn’t stand up for what’s right”.The hell?Outside, Jeff reminds everybody that Jessie turned water into wine.Kevin!Go outside!They’re having way more fun out there!Natalie then insults America for our choices.Yeah, that’ll endear you to the audience.Holy crap, I just realized that they’re all Ivette from Season Six.Unrealistically attached to another houseguest after a short time and angry at America for their crappy gameplay.Yeah, we need more of that.And then, God bless the editors, they cut to a hilarious black and white shot of Chima, Jessie, and Natalie curled up together all smiles and not a brain cell between them.
Later on, Jeff, Jordan, and Russell talk to Michele about nominations.She seems pretty intent on getting Chima out.Not as intent as Chima is on getting Chima out, though.
Time for the Have/Have Not Competition.They pair up, Jeff and Jordan, Michele and Russell, and, per Jeff, “Miserable Team #1 with Natalie and Chima and then the Half-Miserable team of Lydia and Kevin.”Ha!Outside, there are two slides leading into giant bowls of slop, and pan after pan of crazy casseroles.This week, they all work together to win food for each day.Each team takes turns going down the slides and trying to find two casseroles that match (weird concoctions like “pork and pumpkin” or the Schrute-esque “Beets and bologna”).Each pair of casseroles represents a day of the week, or a luxury.Every pair they match gets them food or a party or hot showers.So, this is really a group effort, and it should be fun for everyone.Except that Chima is just standing there, rocking the bitchface.
Natalie gets mad at Jeff for the way he cheers on Russell and Michele.Yeah, it’s a pleasant environment up in there.Jordan nearly gags on a casserole, but she and Jeff manage to find the matching pair of “chicken liver and gelfite fish”.Kevin complains that Lydia gets “barky and butchy” when they complete.Chima and Natalie take their time, because fun is dead.They get the last pair completed just as time runs out.
They’re off to a bad start when they didn’t correctly match the Monday casseroles.However, they did get Tuesday through Sunday, as well as a BBQ grill, and hot showers.They just missed Monday and the steak and lobster dinner, which is a pretty respectable showing.The people who I like are very happy with their performance, the people doing their Ivette impression are still angry and slouchy.
The editors are on fire tonight, because the next segment is devoted to Lydia’s stuffed unicorn.Lydia loves here stuffed unicorn named “Dae Yum Yum”.And they actually come up with a special wipe for the occasion, where the unicorn appears in the middle of a screen of pulsating color.The top of the screen says his name and the bottom reads, in rainbow letters “The Magical Unicorn”.I’m seriously dying here.It looks like a sketch from Tim and Eric, and it’s hilarious.Oh, and then Dae Yum Yum flies off screen!We get a montage of Lydia carrying her unicorn around and talking to him.Kevin asks to see him, and in the Diary Room, he explains that he likes unicorns just fine, but Lydia’s a little over the top.After promising he won’t do anything cruel, Kevin punches the unicorn’s butt and flicks his horn, and I never thought I would write that sentence in a recap.Unless the final season of Lost gets really crazy.
Russell asks Jordan if she “likes Jeff as a boyfriend”, and Jordan says that if he lived in Charlotte, “maybe”.Russell immediately calls out to Jeff, “Jordan says she likes you as a boyfriend!”Jordan backpedals about how she doesn’t know what she wants, and then Jeff proposes.Jordan says “yeah”, and Jeff says “I’m engaged now.”Jordan details what she wants in a ring, and Jeff responds, deadpan, “You’ll be happy with what I give you”.Ha!Man, I love this episode.
Natalie chats up Michele, and Michele makes it pretty clear that Natalie is a potential nominee.Natalie says that “the things Russell said can’t be forgiven”.Natalie enjoys her drama.Chima walks in, and Michele leads with “you’re not going to like my nominations”.Ha!I love Michele’s gameplay.Chima also misuses the term “endgame”, because she’s a writer.
Time for nominations!Of course, Chima and Natalie are nominated.Now, you could try to hunker down and get some votes, or you could focus on winning the Veto.Or, you could go freaking crazy.I’ll see you Tuesday, when we’ll see which of those options Chima picked.I don’t think you’ll be surprised, frankly.
