Big Brother 12: Eviction Week 2
In more non-live footage, Hayden tells us that he and Kristin have a “secret showmance”. So at this point, probably not a secret from her real-life boyfriend, I bet. Also, has Kristin appeared on camera for more than ten minutes this season? I think she and Kathy get to leave the house whenever they want. There is night vision footage of the two of them flirting lamely. You know, I’m not a lady, but if a dude whispers to you in the dark “Nobody can know…”, that seems like a warning sign. They go under the blankets to make out, with Andrew ten feet away, wide awake. Hee. By the way, I’ve heard that things have gone a bit further on the live feeds. Not Ollie and April just yet, but we’re getting there. Man, this is another classy bunch.
Rachel talks about how important it is to get Monet out of the house, and she goes to Hayden and Kristin to make sure that they’re voting Monet out. Unfortunately, Rachel goes to them with a lie, and she’s all “People are saying you’re voting to keep Monet”. Now, she doesn’t know about the Brigade (lucky!), so it’s not as stupid as it seems to us. It’s still pretty bad, thought. When asked who she heard that from, she just answers “You know, people”. Yeah, it has to be hard to keep track of the small group of people with whom you’re confined to a house. There is no word on the street if there isn’t a street! Amazingly, Kristin buys it and believes that there’s burgeoning gossip about her vote! She goes to Britney and Monet and asks why they’re spreading rumors, and then she says that she doesn’t want Matt to think he doesn’t have her vote. Because “Matt doesn’t deserve to go home over you”. And then the whole house gets involved with talking about how everybody wants Money to go home, and Monet needs to understand that. Sometimes I just can’t figure out how conversations like this actually happen. In the end, it’s pretty much agreed that Monet is the jerk for even being up against somebody like Matt.
Later, Britney and Rachel are commiserating about how hard it’s going to be for Britney to lose her friend. Britney says she’s trying to get in good with Rachel, and Rachel spills that Matt volunteered to go up. I can not decide if Rachel is a strategic genius or kind of dim, because I just can’t see where she’s going with any of this. She’s either three moves ahead of everybody else, or she’s trying to play “Clue” and all she has is a busted “Hungry Hungry Hippos” board. Britney says that Matt’s walking around telling everybody how pissed he is, and then Rachel cries because nobody prevented her from making the decision that she chose to make. So Rachel calls a House Meeting, and you know that this is not going to end well.
Oh, Andrew’s not there, because he’s observing a religious holiday, and we see him reading Scripture in one of the bedrooms. You have to admire that, in all honesty. I think there are a lot of thinks about Andrew that are more than a little weird, but good for him, sticking to his principles like that.
Rachel tells everybody that Matt volunteered to be a pawn, and Matt says that’s not true. Nobody believes him. Monet cries about how he lied to her. And then Matt says that he got bullied into being the nominee, and that is not what we say yesterday. Matt says that Brendon and Rachel are his targets, and they should be everybody’s targets. Kathy is crying for no good reason. Enzo acts shocked at the possibility that there might be an alliance in the house. Shocked!
Finally, we go to live footage. Hi, Julie! She really is dressing more flatteringly this season. Anyway, she leads by talking about Saboteur Annie, and everybody is glad that the saboteur is gone. We see footage of the Have/Have-Not competition, and everybody laughs. Julie makes fun of Ragan for his weird pose when he was taped to the wall, and then talks about how tough it must have been for Britney. Next, she asks Andrew about how hard it is to balance Judaism with the game, and Andrew has a coherent, respectful answer that barely seems like it came from him. There’s a viewer question for Kathy. Surprisingly, it is not “Are you still on the show?”
Time for Julie to talk to Rachel privately. Rachel is really animated, and when the sound sync is this far off, you’re really conscious of it. Girl talks like a muppet. They talk about Rachel’s weird House Meeting, and Rachel says that Matt is a snake. Also, she mentions Brendon repeatedly, and her laugh bores a hole in my soul. She doesn’t want to choose between the monety and Brendon, but when pressed, she says she’s putting Brendon ahead of the game. Rachel’s days? They are numbered.
The nominees make their cases. Monet says to vote with their heart, and Matt says he’s not wearing any military regalia tonight, because Big Brother is just totally incestuous now. He then calls Julie “Chenbot”, which is freaking rude! I mean, that’s what we call her, but not to her face! Matt has now killed the nickname for me. Julie laughs, but you can tell she hates him with the fire of a thousand suns.
It’s voting time. Andrew votes to evict “Ten Thousand Dollar-Richer Monet”. Boy, let’s home nobody starts using “Secretly a Podiatrist” as voting justification, right? Enzo unsurprisingly votes to evict Monet. Britney votes to evict Matt. And that’s the first round of voting. Man, I really want Matt to go. Not that I like Monet, but I’d love for something to happen that the Brigade can’t celebrate.
When we come back, Kathy votes to evict Matt. Hayden votes to evict Matt and tells Julie that she’s great. Kristin votes to evict Monet. Ragan votes to evict Monet, which seals it. The next votes don’t matter, but Brendon stupidly votes Monet out. Lane also votes stupidly, but that’s how he does everything.
Matt doesn’t even act nervous during the announcement, and his arrogance is going to get him in trouble if anybody in the house starts doing math. Everybody stands around awkwardly after Monet leaves. After a seeming eternity, it’s time for the Chenterview. Monet is in tears, and says that she already said her good-byes. She says that Big Brother has made her crazy, and says that she’s drained. She also says that she learned she’s not as strong as she thinks, which is an unfortunate lesson to take away from a TV show. The $10,000 comes up, and I’m surprised that’s such a big deal. Sometimes you have somebody who sells out the house for a cash prize, but all Monet did was make it across the barbecue pit in a team competition. But these are Big Brother contestants. You ain’t mapping out their thought processes anytime soon. Oh, also Monet doesn’t regret anything she said about Rachel. Hey, hold onto the bitterness. That’s going to be good for you.
In the farewell videos, Andrew calls her out for not having a strategy, Matt brags that he got her kicked out, Rachel calls her catty (and once again calls Brendon “my man”). Britney is genuinely sad, and calls out Kristin and Rachel’s poor fashion choices. Hee. Monet did not make any kind of impression on me, so I guess I don’t really have an opinion about her leaving. Good luck, I guess?
And now it’s the HoH Competition. Everybody but Rachel is standing on surfboards that are mounted to a big blue wall. Whoever stays on the longest is the HoH. Endurance competition! That means I’ll go to bed not knowing who won, and my sleep will be fitful at best. Also, the first five to fall will be the Haves for the week, while the rest (minus the HoH) are Have-Nots. Oooh, that’s a pretty good twist right there.
Almost immediately, water pours down on them, and the surfboards seem to be moving just a tiny bit. But, you know, we’re watching people stand while water falls on them. It is not exactly compelling viewing.
In a Viewer Poll, we get to decide what the Have-Nots will eat this week. The choices are Sardines and Sauerkraut, Prunes and Pate, or Baby Food and Bok Choy. Why are the choices always alliterative? Is that a key element of meal planning?
Back to the competition, the water seems to have let up. And then the water starts up again. That is not much of a twist, but Julie seems to think it was ingenious. She’s had a hard night, so I’m going to give it to her.
Well, now it’s time to hit the message boards and wait for results! We’ll see you Wednesday for the Nomination and Veto recaps.
