Big Brother 12: Snap Judgments!
Enzo–His last name is Palumbo, so “Enzo Palumbo”, which sounds too much like Enrico Palazzo
from the first Naked Gun movie. Another problem? He names Justin from Season 1 as his favorite player. I assume he actually means from Season 2, (people tend to block out the real S1) but regardless, Justin was a crazy ass dude who got kicked out for holding a knife to a girl’s throat. Nice role model there. Basically, Enzo is a walking Guido stereotype, and I blame The Situation for him even being cast. Clearly, Grodner and company felt they needed to compete with Jersey Shore in some way. Then again, all there really is to do in the house is “GTL”. Dear God…Big Brother is the original Jersey Shore. (mw)
from the first Naked Gun movie. Another problem? He names Justin from Season 1 as his favorite player. I assume he actually means from Season 2, (people tend to block out the real S1) but regardless, Justin was a crazy ass dude who got kicked out for holding a knife to a girl’s throat. Nice role model there. Basically, Enzo is a walking Guido stereotype, and I blame The Situation for him even being cast. Clearly, Grodner and company felt they needed to compete with Jersey Shore in some way. Then again, all there really is to do in the house is “GTL”. Dear God…Big Brother is the original Jersey Shore. (mw)
Rachel – You know, when I saw her picture, I thought she was Maria Kanellis of Celebrity Apprentice. There is a good chance I will call her “Maria” several times before the season is over. Now, I will recant all of this is Rachel turns out to be awesome, but her profile doesn’t add up. One of her jobs is “VIP Cocktail Waitress”, and I don’t even think that’s a real job. Does she only serve cocktails to VIP’s? And how is that determined? How do they check your VIP status at the door to determine which waitress you get? And why do the VIP’s get a special waitress? Is she less likely to spill than the regular waitress? Also, she states that her strategy for winning is to “hustle like I do at work when I try to get men to buy me champagne”. Wait, why would she try to get men to buy her champagne when she is a cocktail waitress? I don’t think you’re allowed to buy drinks for your waitress. Her other jobs, for the record, are given as “model… chemist… charity head”. I’m not convinced I believe all of that, but in none of those jobs do you try to get men to buy you champagne. It doesn’t add up. So her job is to get men to buy drinks for her, and she works in a place with VIP’s. You guys, best case scenario, Rachel is a stripper. Worst case, she’s one of those fancy escorts. Again, if I’m wrong I will apologize, but that’s where all the clues point. (ej) Hayden--This guy is about as deep as the kiddie pool I just filled up in the backyard. He’s a 24 year
old college student who said he had nothing to do for the summer, so he thought he’d try this show…which means his only aspiration is to be famous. He likes to lift weights, workout and go to the beach, so he’s totally filling the meathead slot until proven otherwise. His biggest accomplishment is “being a part of” Arizona State University baseball, which sounds like someone didn’t actually make the team. I’m just sayin’. He also describes himself as charming, which is one of those words I don’t think you should use to describe yourself. His video does nothing to help his cause; at least not to me. The first viewer question is what he will bring to the house, and his answer concludes with his hope to make the house “more popular”. Um, what? (mw)
Ragan – I’m conflicted about Ragan. I like that he has a podcast with his comedic take on pop culture and politics, but I don’t like that he keeps telling us that he’s funny and yet there is nothing clever in his bio. I like that he seems to always be wearing a bowtie, though. That might be the tiebreaker. Oh wait, he also likes fart jokes. That makes up for the fact that he brags about his two poetry collections (which I will guarantee are self-published), one of which has a title that is exactly one letter different from the title of a Liz Phair album. He’s a college professor, which at least means he should be smart. It’s always good to have a smart person in the house. Ragan could go either way – if he’s actually funny, I’ll really like him. If he thinks he’s funny but isn’t, he’s going to get unbearable before the first week is over. He’ll probably be a target early on – If he thinks he’s smarter than everybody else, he’s going to make enemies. And I don’t really see a natural ally for a gay, bowtie-wearing poet in there. (ej)
old college student who said he had nothing to do for the summer, so he thought he’d try this show…which means his only aspiration is to be famous. He likes to lift weights, workout and go to the beach, so he’s totally filling the meathead slot until proven otherwise. His biggest accomplishment is “being a part of” Arizona State University baseball, which sounds like someone didn’t actually make the team. I’m just sayin’. He also describes himself as charming, which is one of those words I don’t think you should use to describe yourself. His video does nothing to help his cause; at least not to me. The first viewer question is what he will bring to the house, and his answer concludes with his hope to make the house “more popular”. Um, what? (mw)Ragan – I’m conflicted about Ragan. I like that he has a podcast with his comedic take on pop culture and politics, but I don’t like that he keeps telling us that he’s funny and yet there is nothing clever in his bio. I like that he seems to always be wearing a bowtie, though. That might be the tiebreaker. Oh wait, he also likes fart jokes. That makes up for the fact that he brags about his two poetry collections (which I will guarantee are self-published), one of which has a title that is exactly one letter different from the title of a Liz Phair album. He’s a college professor, which at least means he should be smart. It’s always good to have a smart person in the house. Ragan could go either way – if he’s actually funny, I’ll really like him. If he thinks he’s funny but isn’t, he’s going to get unbearable before the first week is over. He’ll probably be a target early on – If he thinks he’s smarter than everybody else, he’s going to make enemies. And I don’t really see a natural ally for a gay, bowtie-wearing poet in there. (ej)