Big Brother HoH and Eviction: Week 4
Next, Britney talks to the two nominees and explains that she’s sorry that she didn’t Veto one of them, but she likes Lane much better than she likes them. They take this better than you might think. Hayden and Kristen then talk about how little time they have to spend together and Kristen cries. She says she would regret not fighting to stay, and it’s tearing her up. Of course, he’s already got the votes locked up, so he tells her to campaign as hard as she wants.
OK, Britney, Ragan and Matt are in the HoH bedroom while Rachel is outside. Matt is wearing a onesie and a policeman’s cap. I don’t know what’s going on. It’s so bizarre, I feel like his outfit should be the focus of the scene, yet nobody’s even mentioning it. Britney and Matt then put in Rachel’s extensions and Britney begins her fantastic Rachel impression, and then Rachel and Brendon walk in. Rachel is tickled because she loves the idea that people are talking about her all the time. It’s an honor! Britney then does her impression right in front of Rachel, who assures us that “the highest form of flattery is totally making fun of someone”. Ah, somebody boned up on her Bartlett’s before the season began.
Outside, dudes exercise and the Brigade talks about how people might think they’re in an alliance if they always hang out together. They talk about this with Kristen 40 feet away, and she’s putting two and two together and coming up with four, which is exactly the number of votes Hayden needs to stay. Why isn’t he worried? Kristen is on the case! Oh man, it’s possible that this just got interesting.
Kristen goes to Ragan with her theory about a secret alliance. Ragan is a total wuss about even offering to voter to keep Kristen. He sounds like he’s considering it, but he won’t commit to anything. Next she goes to Britney, but takes the tack that maybe Hayden will eventually form an alliance with the other guys. And then she goes to the HoH room to talk to Brendon. Awesomely, she leads with “I know you guys don’t like me”. She approaches Brendon as the swing vote and she has a perfectly good argument, but I don’t know if it sinks in with Brendon. I feel like he hears words, but he doesn’t do process them.
Before we go to commercial, Julie tells us that they’re going to crown the “most powerful Head of Household ever”. Oh man, they’re going to be allowed one legal murder, aren’t they?
And now we’re back live, and it’s time for Julie to talk to the Houseguests. She asks Hayden about solitary confinement, and whether it made him crazy like that time Ryan O’Reilly got sent to the Hole. He says it wasn’t as good as $5,000 and honestly, that seems like a given. Julie invokes Season 8’s Jen and the original Unitard. Then she shows footage of the luxury competition, where it looks like Enzo and Hayden are making out. She asks Britney which Houseguest is the hardest to live with, and she doesn’t miss a beat. Ragan, because of his flatulence. Hey, wasn’t he worried about that in his profile? He warned us, people! Julie shuts down all the fart talk, because she knows this isn’t going anyplace good.
Oh, dude! Julie kicks it to a video piece about Kristen’s actual real-life boyfriend. We ease into it by seeing Hayden’s family first. They love Hayden and they don’t care for Kristen one bit, and Mom actually alludes to Hayden’s genitalia. Creepy! Kristen’s friends watch the show and are grossed out by her behavior. And man, this guy looks like he wants to die. We actually see him watching Kristen and Hayden making out! Wow, this is rough. This isn’t funny anymore. I kind of don’t want to talk about this because this is a real person who didn’t sign up for this. Rest secure in the knowledge that you can definitely do better than Kristen, my friend.
Julie talks to Rachel privately. Julie asks if Rachel is pulling anybody into their alliance, and she says they want to recruit Britney. Rachel laughs annoyingly about how she doesn’t get along with other women, because she is that girl. Poor Julie’s desperately trying to make this interesting, and it just isn’t happening. Rachel says “me and Brendon” about a thousand times. Julie says they’ve been butting heads lately, and does not mention that they’ve also been butting crotches. Julie’s classy, you know?
Time for the nominees to speak. Hayden says he’s not going to throw anybody under the bus, because he has too much class. Also, he can’t think of anything to say. Kristen rebukes Andrew, because that’s a good use of her time, and then calls some unnamed houseguests “cowards”. And with that, it’s time to vote.
Enzo votes to evict Kristen. Kathy votes against Hayden. Matt votes out Kristen. None of this is terribly surprising. Lane votes against Kristen. Ragan votes to evict Kristen, sealing her fate. Dude is not paying attention. Brendon votes out Kristen, as does Britney. Wow, her reasonable argument made no impact whatsoever. That shouldn’t surprise anybody at this point. It is a silent, awkward exit, and while she makes the hug rounds, she and Rachel don’t approach each other at all.
I love how the Houseguests are always impressed when the picture on the Memory Wall goes to black-and-white. Can technology even do that?
Chenterview! Julie asks Kristen how hard it was to campaign against Hayden. Turns out it was hard. We go straight to the farewells. Matt says that if you’re wearing a costume on eviction night, you’re going home. Yeah, that’s actually true. Rachel calls Kristen a bitch and a “ho”, and once again says not to get between her and her man. I hope Brendon cheats on her, and fast. Ragan says her elimination was a compliment. So his vote against her was just him saying that her hair looks nice. Brendon chastises her for suggesting that Hayden was in an alliance. And then Hayden tells her about the Brigade. I don’t care for Kristen, but I like that Brendon looks like a moron right now.
Julie asks Kristen about the boyfriend, and she says she just needs to think about herself for a while. Yeah, I don’t think that’s a problem for her, actually.
So who did America pick as the new Saboteur? Well, Enzo and Ragan got the most votes, with Ragan taking the lead. But whether or not he’s the Saboteur depends on the HoH. Huh. Out in the backyard, everybody but Rachel is standing around the rim of a giant paint can, which starts to spin. Oh man, another endurance competition. Seriously? Julie also announces that the first person to fall will be the only Have-Not for the week. And then they get paint thrown at them. OK, that made me laugh.
Hey, on Wednesday, Jeff and Jordan return! Yay!
See you next week, when Myndi gets to recap more Hot Standing Action and perhaps explain the increasingly complicated Saboteur situation.
