Big Brother – Nominations, Week 6: Canklesaurus Rex
Everybody hides from Brendon before the competition. Even though, as Lane points out, “It’s just Brendon! He can’t kill you in here.” Ha!
Eventually, we return to the competition. I hate that they’re dragging this out, because I know how it ends, and it’s going to suck. Lane is pretty confident that he’ll win, and Brendon is attacking the rope like it suggested that Rachel isn’t really a chemist. Hayden complains of back pain. He’s not really very good at things, is he? Enzo continues to liken himself to a cat. You guys, I think Enzo is a closet furry. Kathy, after an outbreak of awesomeness last week, is back to not doing very well.
Wow, Brendon is talking to the ghost of Rachel as he works on the challenge. He’s actually going to go crazy before all is said and done. Enzo explains that he usually wants the Brigade to win, but he’s OK if Brendon wins, because he and Hayden made an arrangement with him. Wait a minute, a sub-alliance within the Brigade? Enzo is going to have some explaining to do. Anyway, Brendon explains that he’s going after Britney and Ragan, so Enzo decides on a side-alliance. I don’t like this thing where they’re going after Britney. She’s the only one I like!
It turns out, Enzo and Hayden were working this side alliance before Rachel even left the house. It might not be a good idea to strike deals with the nominees two hours before eviction. Some might even call it counterproductive.
Back at the competition, Lane hypothesizes that Rachel injected him with rabies before she left. You what? This guy is just weird enough to be entertaining. Britney says that Brendon being in the lead makes her want to swallow mud and kill herself. Enzo and Kathy are in the rear, and Enzo pretends that’s intentional. Matt opines that Enzo is a completely worthless competitor. Which is true. I think Matt’s going to want out of the Brigade sooner rather than later. Kathy explains in the Diary Room that she doesn’t know how to untie knots. Man, Kathy is always one step forward, two steps back.
Cripes, is this competition going to last forever? Anyway, Britney and Ragan are getting frazzled, because they know they’re in rough shape if Brendon wins. Lane is closing the gap, and this is what it’s come to, that I’m now just rooting for anybody who isn’t Brendon. At this point, we are more than a quarter of a way into the episode, and we’re still on the HoH competition. Did absolutely nothing happen in four days that left them needing so much padding?
Lane builds up some ground on Brendon, but then Brendon is beset by “a giant cloud of focus”, and he pulls farther ahead. Brendon wins HoH and dedicates it to Rachel. He ludicrously claims that he and Rachel “just wanted to be in love”, and the other houseguests ruined that. It’s a game show, dammit! They are obligated to get rid of you at some point, unless they’re so impressed by your love that they choose to lose the game for you. He lectures everybody on how they should treat people, and I hate him. Matt berates the Brigade in the Diary Room. He might want to berate them directly, just to see if it helps. Brendon names Britney, Matt, and Ragan as the Have-Nots. Brendon rants about how they created a monster by keeping him in the game.
And then, big surprise, he talks about Rachel some more. Enzo complains that they voted Rachel out instead of Brendon, even though she’s the one who took HoH twice. He also tells everybody that they should be positive, but Britney’s pretty sure she’s going home after she stood up to Brendon. Poor Britney! I like her now, and I don’t like when she’s sad. She has a mini-meltdown in the Diary Room, and it must suck to be a Have-Not again and know that you’re going on the block.
The Have-Nots hang out in their depressing bedroom, knowing that one of them is going home. Well, Matt has that Diamond Power of Veto, so he knows he ain’t going anywhere. He’s trying to pretend he’s sad. Half of Matt’s life is trying to fake human emotions. It’s like he’s Dexter or something.
Britney would rather “fall down a spiral staircase and break my neck” than see Brendon’s HoH room. The fake celebration is a little muted this time, because of how everybody hates him. Lane is amazed to see that Brendon has a family and is not, in fact, a clone. Enzo is irritated that he has to pretend to like Brendon. He reads the letter from his sister and everybody pretends to have feelings about him. It’s a really half-hearted attempt.
Later, while playing pool, Lane and Britney fake argue. Then there’s a montage of them wrestling. It’s cute. Lane compares their relationship to Raisin Bran, where he’s the raisins and Britney is the bran. “Is it bran? It’s not bran. What is that other stuff? Cookies?” I swear, I’m not making this up. They’re kind of hilarious together.
Hayden and Enzo discuss how they trust Brendon more than Matt. That’s not a wise choice, I don’t think. This is not going to go well. So Enzo goes up to talk to Brendon. Brendon says he’s putting up Lane and Britney, which is a little strange. Enzo tries to sell Britney as the bigger threat. Dude, Matt’s the one who keeps winning HoH. Brendon should try and remember that. He also wants to get rid of everybody who’s not an athlete. Because that’s real competition, apparently. Brendon studies physics, remember.
Anyway, Enzo reports back to Lane, and upon finding out he could be nominated, Lane is mad. “I felt like going to a bar, finding the hottest girl there, and fighting her boyfriend.” HA! That’s the best laugh of the week, right there. Lane is eminently quotable, you have to give him that.
Oh, time for another Saboteur segment. They bring back the idea that there’s a secret established relationship in the house. Man, this would be so much better if they kept up the physical sabotages – locking the pantry and stuff. But Enzo takes it so seriously every time. Seriously, he’s like Corbin Bernsen on Celebrity Mole – the saboteur is the most important thing in his life, and he believes every word of it.
Everybody talks about what alliterative food paring the Have-Nots will get, and it turns out to be eggplant and escargot. That is not an appealing pair, I have to say.
Matt and Ragan chill out in the hammock and talk about how they’ll survive the week. Hilariously, Ragan says that Brendon can’t grasp Big Brother intellectually. You know, I don’t think that’s ever been a problem for anyone, except maybe the entire cast of Season 9. Ragan wonders if he should talk to Brendon, and Matt weirdly refers to himself as Ragan’s “man”, and states that they have a showmance. What is happening on the live feeds?
Ragan heads up to the HoH room, and Brendon tells him to keep it quick. Ragan proposes an alliance and swears loyalty to Brendon. He acknowledges that it’s a good idea, but then he looks at his What Would Rachel Do? bracelet and gets all conflicted. Then, Brendon asks Britney to come talk to him. He asks why he shouldn’t nominate her, and she says she’d be in his corner and promises whatever he asks. She admits in the Diary Room that she has no intention of keeping her word, and also calls Brendon “Canklesaurus Rex”. HA! He asks if she would Veto Lane, and she doesn’t really answer but he takes it as an answer. It must be fun to make deals with a dumb guy.
And with that, it’s time for Nominations. The nominees are Ragan and Lane, and Brendon gives them a lecture about competing and who really deserves to win, and he needs to stuff it.
You guys, nothing really happened this episode. If it weren’t for Lane and Britney, this would have been the slowest episode ever. But if you’ve been following the message boards and live fees, you know we’re getting some crazy stuff right quick. Tomorrow, Myndi will bring you the POV and another trip through Pandora’s Box, so we’ll see you there!
