Natalie, 28, Bikini Barista. Well, those big fake jugs (on full display in her photo) oughtta be good for something, although this sounds dangerous to me. But Natalie’s not just another pretty, um, face. She’s very religious and brings her Bible everywhere. She’s proud of her figure and is a former Miss Hawaiian Tropic…Oregon. She also paints and wants to open a Mermaid Art Store someday. That’s really specific. Couldn’t she branch out to include, like, unicorns and rainbows? She annoys me already and I assume she will have a grating, high-pitched voice.
Parker, 26, Paparazzo. Parker works for TMZ. Besides that, he seems like a very normal guy in his mid-twenties. He might even be reasonably intelligent. I like him until further notice.
