Ryan is good at math, as he demonstrated in the blackjack-themed luxury competition that had the gang counting cards that added up to 21, but using the names of a corresponding HG’s face on a playing card to do so. I don’t think I would have done very well with this, so I must give credit where credit is due. In terms of game play, he’s gone from being a big target to laying low in record time and it looks like he may be able to ride that wave for a while.
Sheila is a film buff, or so she would have us believe. She is losing patience with the young-uns, which isn’t really news, but the bratty behavior Chelsia exhibited once she knew she was toast–smashing Easter eggs, calling Natalie white trash–was enough to drive Sheila to use the words “cruel”, “potty mouth”, and “gossip monger”. And if you kick that ball into her yard, kids, she’s keepin’ it! I wonder if she’s disappointed that the viewers feel her biography, which would include ten years with Penthouse editor Bob Guccione, would be less interesting than that of a 23-year-old who rides his bike and has a sketchy career in internet porn?
Ah, yes, James. He of the dazzling pink v-neck and purple skinny jeans combo. I just think it looks like James doesn’t smell very good, ya know? But, for some reason, my fellow viewers want him to lead us into battle instead of Ryan (Come on, people! Look how good Ryan is at counting!) One could argue that the POV was tailor-made for a guy who has probably ingested more than his fair share of mysterious fluids (I’m sorry, I’m sorry!), but he also had to excel at “Rock n Roll” croquet, so you have to hand it to him, I guess. Just don’t make me do it.
His alliance mates, Josh and Sharon, are a different story. Sharon seems sharp one minute (not falling for Matt’s b.s.) and dumb as a stump the next, as she went on the block for Joshuah as casually as if she was offering to pick up his dry cleaning for him. In the end, she had Chelsia’s self-destruction to thank for her safety, but I still can’t fathom why she’d take that bullet for Josh in the first place. He inexplicably remains the only houseguest never to be nominated. (I have a feeling that’s going to change soon, though.)
I almost want to give him credit, but he’s sort of insufferable, so I won’t. My favorite moment this week had to be the return of last season’s winner, Evel Dick, for the POV. When he and Josh were alone in the yard during the competition, Josh actually said that “some people” say he’s the gay version of Dick. The response? “I think only you’ve said that. I don’t see it.” Point for you, E.D. Josh clammed up after that. He does continue to love himself dearly, though, as does Chelsia, who gave him a pep talk on her way out the door. Man, the collective brain power of this house couldn’t run a a child’s night light, could it?
Which brings me to Natalie, or as she’d like you to refer to her, Naughty Natalia. First of all, it must be noted that the music the show uses when Nat’s studying her bible sounds like she’s being asked to choose between door number one and door number two on Let’s Make a Deal. Why is that? We learned that Nat is not much of a speller. For example, “done” is evidently spelled “D-U-N” ; she’s not sure if Alzheimer’s is actually “all-tymers” or maybe “old-hymers”; and she apparently isn’t terribly familiar with how the letters “gh” work in words that rhyme with “white”. But, she, like her pal Ryan, likes to count, though she kind of stalls at 8. What kind of sliding scale are we operating on here when Natalie stumbles onto the notion that Evel Dick is coming into the house in the eighth week with his eight letter name? You know the producers were freaking out when she had that revelation in the DR…after seeking guidance from the deer mounted in the living room, of course. One thing Nat does know, at least, is her right from her left, which enabled her to win the HOH competition this week and promptly dissolve into tears of joy. Here’s hoping this is the week Josh breaks his streak and we’re finally rid of either him or James, for good this time.
