Big Brother – Veto Week 7: Jessie. Again. Really.
Hayden and Lane talk about how it’s time to make a power move – they want to backdoor Matt. They’re right to be worried, simply because neither of them is ever going to win anything ever. So Lane goes to Britney and swears her to secrecy one thousand times, before telling her that Matt has an alliance with Ragan. Lane’s logic is that Brendon is an outcast, so they can get rid of him at any time. You know, there are seven people left – outcasts aren’t really an issue. And also, that sounds like the kind of genius strategy that kept Dr. Will in the house right up to the finale. Somehow, Lane and Hayden hate Matt now. Britney’s just irritated that they’re having a backdoor conversation before they even play for the Veto.
Speaking of which, it’s time to pick players for the Veto. Since there are seven housguests and six slots, it’s only Ragan who’s out. Interesting that Britney picks “Houseguest’s Choice” and selects Matt. Outside, they have a zoo with fake animals, including an alligator in the pool. Each houseguest starts out in a cage.
Oh, this is one of those cool strategy games. You each start with 50 points, but Ragan will make a series of offers, and the first one to buzz in can spend their points on each offer. Whoever has the most points at the end wins. Now, obviously you just don’t take any offers if you want to win, but there are some gameplay bonuses up for sale. At least, there have been in the past. Also, you can win… stuff. I don’t know, pencil sets and new tires. Stuff.
Oooh, you can also accept a punishment to get more points. I don’t remember them doing that before, but I might be wrong. Nobody can see what anybody else does, so it’s going to be all mysterious. Ragan even has to host from inside, so he doesn’t know who takes which offers.
First offer is to take a chum bath every hour for 24 hours – Brendon snaps it up for five Veto Points. Next one, for seven points, is to handcuff yourself to another houseguest for seven points. Matt tries to buzz in, but doesn’t win. Lane gives up points to give a phone call from home. Who’s willing to be a Have-Not for three weeks to win eleven points? Enzo buzzes in, but he’s not first. Next, the guys can shave their head for six points, or Britney can dye her hair pink for the rest of the summer. You’d think Enzo would snap at that one, since nature’s already got him most of the way there. Next, Enzo agrees to wear a penguin outfit for a week. I’d probably do that for free. Then there’s a Hawaiian Vacation for two, and Hayden snaps that up. A Have-Not pass comes up, and we don’t see if anyone takes it. Next, everybody writes on a chalkboard how many points they’d give up for 5,000 dollars. Hayden gives up most of his points. Eye of the Tiger, that one. Also, “That’s more than I made in the last two years.”
Finally, who’s willing to give up all their clothes, except what they’re wearing, for thirteen Veto points? Somebody is, but we don’t see who. DRAMA!
They reveal the results, sort of. We find out Brendon volunteered to be handcuffed to another houseguest for 24 hours, and he chooses Britney, much to her chagrin. It also turns out Brendon volunteered to have his head shaved. Enzo gets his penguin outfit. It looks like it’s going to be hot as hell in that suit. Matt’s getting frustrated with the dopes who are letting Brendon win. Nobody gave up points for the Have Not pass. Also, Enzo gave up all of his clothes. For some reason, Ragan doesn’t reveal who’s losing their clothes or who’s taking the chum bath to the houseguests, even though that’ll be clear soon enough.
And Brendon won the Power of Veto. Can I get a “Dammit!” from the congregation? Britney is pissed, and says everybody’s a possible replacement nominee.
Ragan comes up to see her in the HoH room, and she’s taking this hard. She’s mad that everybody was snapping up prizes and the whole house can’t get one person out. Meanwhile, the rest of the Brigade and Brendon complain about Matt. Who at this point, has done nothing to any of them. Well, except Brendon. In fact, they think Matt took the prizes, even though Hayden and Lane actually snapped them all up. Lane comes up to talk to Britney, and she accuses him of throwing the competition.
Lane says that he got the phone call, but that Matt won everything else. Well, that’s not even a little bit true. He also says that Brendon doesn’t consider her a target, which seems like a misreading of the mood of the house. Lane admits in the Diary Room that he’s manipulating Britney because his loyalty is to the Brigade. Except for Matt. Basically, his loyalty is to the people in the house who have yet to win anything at all. Surprisingly, Britney buys it. Oh, man. This is all going to fall apart in a big hurry.
Well, let’s get away from this for a bit, because it’s another Pandora’s Box. I’m really starting to like Pandora’s Box – it mixes things up, and it’s nice and sadistic. I will say, there needs to be more of an element of chance, since the way it is, it just results in producer interference. Matt gets a Diamond Power of Veto, while Brendon gets to leave for a day? They should really have to pick from one of several boxes, just so it doesn’t come off as manipulation.
So, Britney has the option to spend an hour with a Houseguest from a previous season. She thinks that’s a good thing, but just think about the possibilities. Sure, you could hang out with Will (either one, really), Lisa, Marvin, Kaysar, James, Jordan, Jeff, or a couple of other awesome people. But there are far more turds in that punchbowl, and you could end up with Allison, Mike Boogie, the guy with VD from Season 4, Chima, Evel Dick, Jessie, Ivette, Cowboy, or A-Balla. Well, probably not that last one. To me, it’s not worth the risk. Britney even wonders, “What if it’s somebody horrible who I hated?” But she decides to open the box.
DAMMIT! It’s f’ing Jessie inside the box. I have to put up with this dude again? He immediately tears off his shirt and announces that he’s going to give her workout tips for an hour. Meanwhile, the other guests get a one-hour luau with hula girls. Poor Britney gets to watch them have fun on the TV while Jessie talks about his guns and makes her lift weights. At least Britney starts finding it funny after a while, and she finally leaves the room mumbling “Oh my God. Kill me.” She tells the rest of the houseguests about Pandora’s Box, and everybody thinks it’s hilarious that she had to spend an hour with Jessie. I love that it’s just acceptable for everyone to openly hate him. Myndi and I were on that bandwagon a loooooong time ago.
Later, it’s time to handcuff Brendon to Britney. Oh, and this is when the chum baths start, so every hour, Britney has to stand there while he climbs in the washtub. This is not going to be Britney’s best day. I have to say, the Diary Room scene where Brendon talks about the chum is hilarious because he’s handcuffed to Britney still, and she’s making crazy over-the-top faces that he doesn’t notice. This goes on all night, and they’re just exhausted by morning. Finally, Ragan uncuffs them, and all is well. Brendon hopes he “never has to do anything consecutively for 24 hours”. Brendon’s a weird guy.
Britney brings Matt to the HoH room to talk about the nominations, and she basically tells him that he’s going up. Matt thinks this is a weird turn of events, and he has to explain that he and Ragan don’t really have an alliance. Stupidly, Matt says he’s trying to save the Brigade. Why would you try to save that? That’s like trying to save print journalism, you know? (BURN! Also, I like print journalism, but I couldn’t think of another joke. Stupid deadlines.) Matt then suggests to Lane that if he could convince Britney to nominate Ragan, it wouldn’t go amiss. That’s not a great idea. Seriously, Matt, Ragan, and Britney in an alliance. They’d get Final Three in a heartbeat.
Britney asks Lane if he’s in an alliance. His answer: “Do you think I have the brainpower to do that?” Hee. OK, that’s pretty funny. But I will not accept lying to Britney! It’s a full-court press as the various Brigadiers talk to Britney about how hard it’s going to be to get rid of Matt.
And now, we’re headed for disaster because Britney goes to talk to Ragan. She assures him that, no matter what, “we’re good”. She says that people want Matt to go, but Ragan thinks he’d be the next to go if that happens. So Britney says that Matt’s been selling him out, but she’s looking out for him.
Time for the Power of Veto Ceremony! It’s kind of sad that Matt is totally convinced the Brigade has his back. And who knew that I’d feel sorry for Matt at some point? It’s weird how you sort of lose perspective as the season goes on. Anyway, Brendon Vetos himself, and Britney nominates Matt.
Oh, man. Matt’s best chance is to out the Brigade, but I don’t think anybody’s going to believe him. And remember, tomorrow’s not just an Eviction, it’s a Double Eviction episode. Can you handle it? Myndi can, because she’s going to be recapping it! See you there!
