The 25 Days of Christmas Episodes – Day 16 – Nip/Tuck “Joy Kringle”
Kris Kringle is furious at the evidence that his wife cheated on him seventeen years ago with his assistant, Andy. She felt neglected when he devoted himself to Santa-hood after they found out his sperm wasn’t viable, and she cheated on him in a moment of weakness. Santa is inconsolable, and walks out on her. He later comes back to the plastic surgeon’s office with a hot young Mrs. Claus. Kris wants to give her the gift of Double D’s.
Meanwhile, Matt’s white supremacist girlfriend finds out that her mother’s great-grandmother was African-American. This leads her to use medical grade skin bleach, which nearly burns her face off. But, you know, she kind of had that coming.
Mercifully, this episode is largely free of references to the Carver storyline that completely derailed Season Three. Still, when I was picking episodes, I thought this was the one where Sean befriends a wino on Christmas. I guess I had the wrong season, because this one is phenomenally disturbing on all sorts of levels.
Best Line – Christian Troy: “What about the elves? I always thought that was indentured servitude.”
Christmas Tropes:
Santa Claus – That’s pretty much the episode right there. We start off with a jolly Mr. and Mrs. Kringle, and it quickly goes really, really wrong.
Trimming the tree – Julia collapses while her children decorate the tree. Meanwhile, son Matt explains to young Annie how the Virgin Mary had sex before marriage and lied about it. Yeah, Matt kind of craps on everything.
Nativity scene – Matt and Ariel steal all the black figures from a school Nativity scene and repaint them as white. There’s also a nice subtle scene where Dr. Troy packs the fetus in a jar to send it for tests. As he places it in the box, for just a second we see the calcified fetus laying in the packing material looking like a demented manger.
Gifts – From Matt to Ariel: The business card of a therapist specializing in teen image issues.
Learning a lesson – When welcoming a mail order bride, keep your house keys on you at all times.
Cheer-o-meter Score: Seriously, the feel-good moments come from a storm washing the white paint off of a racist nativity, and from Julia’s decision not to get an abortion on Christmas Eve. I’m probably stretching it to give this one a 2.
