I’m not even kidding when I tell you that there is footage of each contestant walking the shortest red carpet in history while NBC pages dressed like paparazzi snap pictures. Trump attempts a joke about how Piers Morgan, Joan Rivers, and Brett Michaels were nobodies before they did his show. And then the announcer rattles off this year’s crop of retarded baby ducklings. There is actually a shot of Richard Hatch running from an explosion in slow motion, and that is maybe the best thing about this entire episode. Does he have a career in action movies that I don’t know about? Also, they call Jose Canseco a “controversial author”, as if he’s Salman Rushdie. There are some amazing clips, including Marlee Matlin reminding somebody over the phone that she’s deaf. Trump pronounces himself the ringmaster of this circus, so you know, nice to see he’s taking it seriously.
