Previously on Dancing with the Stars:Debi Mazar was eliminated, because America couldn’t remember that she was on the show.Tom DeLay left for medical issues, and also because the universe was being merciful.Now we’re in a position where the lowest scoring dancers are genuinely fun to have on the show, so […]

Hi all!  I have to start with a question…did we really need to add four new dance styles to this show?  The Two Step, Bolero, Charleston and Lambada will be appearing tonight.  Great–I always thought Bolero was just a style of jacket, the Lambada only existed in bad movies and […]

Before informing us that the show is in fact, “LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!”, Tom tells us that last night, the competition was blown wide open.  He also says that with Tom DeLay’s injury, there might actually be two eliminations tonight.  Wouldn’t that be a treat? I’m really not sure why Len liked Joanna’s […]

Previously on Dancing with the Stars:Kathy Ireland turned out not to be particularly good or particularly crazy, which led to her elimination and a whole bunch of unused Alien from L.A. jokes.Aaron Carter, Mya, and Donny Osmond led the pack while Tom DeLay ended up sucking hind teat.Also, there were […]

Last night, an insane amount of people danced 90 second routines with almost no injuries, and what appears to be copious amounts of fake hair. Bruno made a dirty joke about riding Joanna hard, Chuck had makeup on the side of his head; Mark and Melissa looked like Mickey Mouse; […]

Previously on Dancing with the Stars:An absolutely absurd number of celebrities danced at wildly varying skill levels.Ashley Hamilton and Macy Gray were eliminated, only I don’t think Macy knows.Also, Len and Bruno seem to hate each other.Everybody on board?We’ve got 14 dancers tonight.14! Hey, Tom Bergeron!How did they broadcast the […]