Previously on Celebrity Apprentice: Both teams failed to impress the executives at All, who, it is important to note, are offended by midgets and insist on a distinction between “mothers” and “women with children”. Donald Trump then fired two people for reasons completely unrelated to the task. In the suite […]

Back in the suite, the retarded baby ducklings are sad. They talk about alcohol and why it’s bad. There’s something really sad about it all, but it should be noted that Brian McKnight still manages to make it all about how awesome and deep he is. That’s Brian McKnight: Sexing […]

I am not kidding around here: This was the best episode of Celebrity Apprentice ever. You think you’ve seen crazy before? We’re just getting started, Pedro. Previously on Celebrity Apprentice: Dennis Rodman perfected the art of having randomly chosen emotional reactions to external stimulus. (Watching a coin toss makes him […]

Previously on Celebrity Apprentice: KOTU proved to be as bad at selling wedding dresses as they are at everything else. Donald Trump excessively complimented Dennis Rodman’s pretty, pretty eyes. Tom Green and Dennis spent a mysterious night with some dotcom millionaires and their cat-dog, and in the end Tom Green […]

Previously on Celebrity Apprentice: Team KOTU imploded once again, creating a superhero named “EEE” to shill for a “Z” themed website. Of course, considering they could have gone the “horny transvestite” route, it could have been worse. On the Athena side, Annie Duke aggravated almost everybody, but they won anyway. […]

Previously, on Celebrity Apprentice: Andrew “Dice” Clay spent only one week on our TV sets. Huzzah! (It’s a two-hour episode this week – I don’t have time to recap the recap.) Donald Trump shows up to remind us what show we’re watching from his own private helicopter. His helicopter does […]